Thursday, August 9, 2012

Tunahead Is About to Make an Awkward Fish Joke to Ashley

Ashley will not get it.

# posted by douchebag1
12:05 pm August, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Not anything to do with this pic but has anyone seen Dark Sock lately…

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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4479825/Polish-man-admits-in-court-that-he-had-sex-with-horse.html

12:07 pm August, 9 DarkSock said...

Ned Largeman, Noted Notary Public, sits in the pee-warm pool water wistful and redolent, mulling over implications of The Affordable Health Act on personal tax forms as a steady froth of methane gently purrs up the hair-caked crack of his ass.

12:09 pm August, 9 DarkSock said...

Ashley’s nethers taste of baby wipe fragrance (because TP is too pedestrian for her silken love-cleft) and grape Kool-Aid.

12:11 pm August, 9 DarkSock said...

And peeing inside of large mammal’s body cavities is NOT the same has having sexual congress with them. Now that is just sick and wrong.

12:13 pm August, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Shark week is coming up or was that shart week?

12:23 pm August, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Ashley has the vacant, trusting stare of simpleton. I long to lure her away with fanciful tales of talking unicorns she can ride or magic beans she can plant and watch gumdrop trees grow and bloom before her eyes. Then I’ll watch her great big doe eyes tear up as I tell her that I only have one week to live; and that as my last wish I long to have one magic night with her, the woman of my dreams. Then I’ll ride her like I’m on a stolen Ducati Multistrada and am being chased by winged demons breathing hell fire at my back.

12:23 pm August, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

She needs to take a hard to port and skedaddle pronto for the anal barnacles love harpoon drips with tartar sauce!

1:06 pm August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Hopeless Solo

1:07 pm August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Christie Rambone

1:07 pm August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Grabby Wambach

1:08 pm August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Gnarli Lloyd

1:11 pm August, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This dame looks like a chick who used to hang around with the guys back in the late 50s. Alice Something-or-other; same dead expression. She was always blasted on Nebutol and then would have a drink or two and let anyone go anal on her. Anal was big.

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One time we was at some kind of shindig in the Topanga Canyon and this Alice broad was all over Sal Mineo, who everyone knew was a Finnoch. Everyone except Alice. So after a while Sal just tells her he’s not that way, and she says, “Who cares, I just want it in my goo-goo.” Goo-goo, I says.

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So bein that Sal was an expert back here, he waxed her ass good and proper. Actually, once Mineo realized broads would take it in the ass – and that he was a celebrity so dames would give it up to him – he backed off the whole suckin dick thing and balled dames quite regularly.

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Last time I saw her it was ’64 or ’65 and Petey Lawford had just pierced her buttocks at a party at the Sands. Poor Alice wound up in diapers at the Motion Picture and Television Country House and Hospital, where she was watered thrice a day before she went tits up. Tits up, I says. A real shonda.

1:14 pm August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

That women’s gold medal fútbol match was great but not quite as good as the Canada v USA game.

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No one calls a game like Arlo White

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And then there’s Alex Morgan painted on bikini pear for SI swimsuit edition

1:15 pm August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Second look at Alex Morgan painted on bikini pear

1:37 pm August, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think Ashley is about to show ol’ Tunahead how hard it is to try and open the Snapper Clapper Trapper.(TM). She might not get the joke but he sure as hell ain’t gonna get any tartar sauce anywhere near her snapper.

2:16 pm August, 9 Troy Tempest said...

Ashley’s got a singing butt. Like this:

5:01 pm August, 9 Stephanie said...

Their celebrating one of them just aced the test at McDonalds,so now they’re going to working first shift Monday at the counter.

5:21 pm August, 9 The Canadian Womens Soccer Team said...

We was robbed by NBC Son. Son I says. Stoned. Robbed I says. But soccer blows anyway.

6:27 pm August, 9 The Dude said...

If Canadian Womens soccer blows, then I need a blow.

6:29 pm August, 9 The Dude said...

^some

6:31 pm August, 9 The Dude said...

*bra*sketball is good, yes/no?

6:36 pm August, 9 Vincenzio said...

The entire Canadian Women’s soccer team is stoned? This reminds me of the time when the Boston Red Soxs commented on here.

6:44 pm August, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Is Ashley sporting a side angle Mons Pubis Reveal? Rev can you clarify or am I just imagining this?

7:01 pm August, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

^And by side angle Mons Pubis Reveal I mean oh so slight side angle Mons Pubis Reveal.

8:16 pm August, 9 DarkSock said...

The North American House Gecko™ is the only reptile with the soft supple skin of a woman. They eat mosquitoes. I welcome them into my home. They stare at me whilst I sleep with their unblinking onyx eyes, much like potatoes do.

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I like eggs.

8:16 pm August, 9 Sofa King said...

Why do his sunglasses say “2 YR”? Is that his mental age?

8:31 pm August, 9 The Dude said...

Hand Solo

8:34 pm August, 9 The Dude said...

Ashley kneads, Ashley kneads, oh yes she kneads…

1:03 am August, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Ashley reminds me of a girlfriend I had in high school. I was a sophomore, she was a senior. And I felt pretty damn awesome at the time I was dating a cute-ass senior attending the International High School Program when I was some flannel shirt wearing, long-haired, future drop out sophomore grunge-punk who did way too much acid every weekend. I didn’t realize what was really going on here.

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We would make out for a half hour at a time, skipping classes or cross-country training just for the chance to lock tongues in a saliva ridden battle royale, for what seemed like days at a session. It was only a month intro our counter-class relationship that she declared we could do anything “but”. And so we did, and again it wasn’t ’til later that I realized why such a beautiful, intelligent, promising young woman like her was doing with an impending burned out cynic like myself: Getting her rocks off fooling around with the “bad boy” but not so far as to ever feel ashamed about it later in life.

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I was an experience to later share with her own pre-teen daughter as one of those mother/daughter “life lessons” without having to suffer the guilt of withholding too many details, like wild fucks in the meadow behind the Lutheran church and clandestine abortions with $60 fake I.D.s. I had my fair share of those with far more slutty girls with void futures that worked at Taco Bell and Dairy Queen, so at least I didn’t miss out on THAT experience.

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Amanda. She would dry hump with more gusto than any girl would do pants down with a monster vibrating choco cock spreading out their clam lips ever would, and gave hand jobs with reckless abandon, whilst screeching away with every fingered thrust up her tight, virgin high school crotch cavity. I’d constantly be fooled by her all too apparent readiness to go have crazy teenage bunny rabbit humping, but then would stop the whole thing when the painfully throbbing head of my dick got too close to the glistening quiver flesh ’round her snatch. I never knew what blue balls really were until then, and I never knew what they were after that. Fuckin’ A.

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Was she a tease? A temptress? Not knowingly, no. Amanda wanted the excitement, the thrill of the forbidden fuck, without the future guilt. She had her whole life planned out: College, graduate degree, marriage, career, 2.2 kids, divorce, 2nd marriage, grankids, retirement somewhere close to an ocean you can’t swim in, and a dignified death surrounded by her family, free from the long-ago shame of letting some grimy, sex crazed teen on acid who listed to way too much Fugazi and Mr. Bungle stick his anarchistic cawk in her 4.16 GPA future Phi Beta Kappa va-jay-jay.

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Nope. My dick was relegated to more “proletariat” monkey hole.

1:06 am August, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Okay regs, please take note. This is what happens after my sixth double White Russian.

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And typing is really hard with half-and-half hiccups/

1:25 am August, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@The Dude

“Hand Solo”…Ha!

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Oof. That made me regurgitate cream and Kahlua. Gross.

3:44 am August, 10 The Dude said...

Likewise, Jacques! That’s a giant ton of funny!!

5:56 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et Tu

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Solid on the side Mons reveal. Jacques has mother/daughter talks?

5:57 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts' Bean Bag said...

Dry humping is a lost art.

6:27 am August, 10 Vincenzio said...

Another round of white Russians on me! I love this site. 🙂

8:49 pm August, 11 Little Willie said...

The idiot with the stupid glasses and funny hat get-up likes to hang out in mens restrooms and lick the urinals. He has the IQ of a moron. Ashley appreciates his “simple” sense of humor and is drawn to weirdo types.

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