Monday, September 17, 2012

A Typical Late Afternoon in Western Long Island

Just as Toqueville warned, or maybe it was Chris Rock, when unnurtured by the pollen of inspiration, the American spirit regresses into hot dogs, apathy, and rectal itch.

# posted by douchebag1
12:22 pm September, 17 Vin Douchal said...

There’s a mechanic’s shop near the Nascar track here in Fontana called , “Torqueville”. There’s also a “Rock Honda” .

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Just sayin’

12:24 pm September, 17 Vin Douchal said...
12:41 pm September, 17 Jeet Kune Douche said...

SHe’s got a MILF look about her…….

12:47 pm September, 17 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

I’ve got to give Droopy Tungston a ‘notta. Minimalist fauxhawk and minimalist weiner do not a douchebag make.

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However, minimalist shorts and belly reveal beneath maximal cleavite do a hottie make. Extra points for the use of clear cup as cup holder for URC. My guess is she’s got a sports bra over her regular bra as well as dual layers of thong. Because in certain instances one is not enough.

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Like the number of times I’ll be fwapping to her today.

12:49 pm September, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Long Island Kate Hudson likes to party down in the Home Depot parking lot with a URC inside another cup.

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What’s being blurred out by her right hand? Is she throwing a hand sign too controversial for HCwDB??

12:50 pm September, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Or left hand, which is on the right side of the pic.

12:51 pm September, 17 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

I wonder why that area above Droopy’s left shoulder is blurred out. Is Britney Sue toking on a cancer stick and doesn’t want people to know? Dangling a spare tampon? Sporting a hook hand?

12:52 pm September, 17 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Dude McCrudeshoes beats me to the observation!

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But I win the URC reference.

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Contests

1:01 pm September, 17 Wheezer said...

I may be willing to itch her rectum with my hot dog.

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(crickets)

1:09 pm September, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

We can call it a draw, MSH.

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Maybe she has lizard-boy’s prostate on her blurred out finger?

1:10 pm September, 17 Dick Everhard said...

She’s using an official NASCAR Jeff Gordon tie rod to give Tweedledum McHotdogscarfer his much needed lobotomy through his ear. Since DB1 is not officially sponsored by NASCAR he can’t use the image.

1:12 pm September, 17 Dick Everhard said...

That perch on her face could hold a parrot of considerable size. And that would be a good thing.

1:36 pm September, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The Long Island Griswalds started this trip to Yankee stadium in 2008. Now, 4 years later, they are still no closer than exit 29 on I495. Russ is suffering brain damage from inhaling car exhaust, and Audrey is pregnant. The father is either Chuck in the Silver Nissan, or Reuben in the tan pickup whose blinker has been on since early 2009.

1:49 pm September, 17 Vin Douchal said...

He’s giving the Rusty Trombone Grimace of Blue Balls

1:50 pm September, 17 Douchble Helix said...

That’s a whole ‘lotta foreheads in that pic.

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Tintins.

1:57 pm September, 17 Vin Douchal said...

I believe Trumbo is saying. “Fuck you in the ear” to Derek Norris

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2:00 pm September, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Where are the fuck are my photos going?

2:02 pm September, 17 The D ude (remote loc) said...

oh, that’s just completely fukn gross. Yikes.

2:33 pm September, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That’s not a blur, it’s hot air coming out of his ear. Classy place; plastic furniture, red cups, hot dogs, all in a parking lot setting. So choice!

2:41 pm September, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

A great injustice has been perpetrated on us by gremlins inside the interwebz which the only thing I can think of as there is no way you all missed and failed to comment on “lil’ Squeezey Pear.” in the Velveeta and Fur* post right before Guyliner guy this morning. Do yourselfs a favor and check it out. It’s renob inducung.

* http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2012/09/17/velveeta-and-fur/

2:58 pm September, 17 Anonymous said...

WeDdiNg RiNg BluRReD OuT. WeDdInG TaCKle HiDdEn By ShORt-sHoRts.

3:34 pm September, 17 The Casual Teabagger said...

So what, tailgating is douchey now? If I want to get boozed up before a game I have to do it inside the stadium or else I’m a douche. Well la de da aren’t you all a bunch of elitists.

4:19 pm September, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Et Tu, the interweb has taken the piss out of all of us with a 404 error in place of your link.

4:38 pm September, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Dude,

I notice it’s no longer listed to the left in “Recent Posts”, may DB1 is choosing to post as part of the Rare Ass Late Monday Night Pear. I for one will be waiting with baited breath and by baited breath I mean a woody.

4:58 pm September, 17 The Casual Teabagger said...

@Et Tu, I caught a glimpse in time before it was taken away from us like a JAP takes away the sex after marriage. P stands for Prince. Anyway you are right buddy, that was a great pic of a woman stuffing her ample pear into a pair of jeans. High five to DB1 for that find. Maybe when he’s feeling less schmeckly he’ll put it back up.

5:31 pm September, 17 Douchble Helix said...

It’s a fuckin’ High Holiday you assholes!

6:19 pm September, 17 The Casual Teabagger said...

@Douchble Helix, I just spent the last half hour looking at pictures of baby polar bears to try to feel something resembling a human emotion. No dice. So bear that in mind when I ask you is there really any difference between DB1 working and not working? He’ll just get DarkSock and the other admins to do all the real work either way. High holiday or not.

7:25 pm September, 17 Stephanie said...

I thought this first name of this site was Hot Chicks? Not drunk mothers.

9:39 pm September, 17 herd187thinner said...

This is my first comment on HCwDB, and I’m hoping not to commit a faux pas here… but as Robert Greene says, “Everyone admires the bold. No one admires the weak.” Funny how this ‘Vanilla Spice” tandem of Ellen Barkin’s trailer trash lovechild and Lenny Dykstra’s heir apparent seem to surf the waves of HCwDB mediocrity. While at first glance Ms. Thang could pass as an ex-Hungarian field hockey player, The reality is that this Ulster County Community College 2nd string soccer player lost her identity when the lights went down on both her academic and athletic prowess. That sets the backdrop for her “lapdog landlord” professing his undying love in paying $200 for a Mets team that’s 23.5 games below .500 and ready to be sold to the United Arab Emirates for a golden felafel. Big tits? Absolutely? But lucky sunlight and the sucking in of one’s belly is all smoke and mirrors. We’ve got cheap brown tint sunglasses that overdue it in covering her ‘XXX-pill’ flying saucers and a ‘Krunkahontas meets ‘Sitting Bullshit’ top that Barney Rubble’s mistress wouldn’t be caught dead in. “Joe Handschuh” and his Kohl’s clearance acid wash nightmare clashes perfectly with what is mediocre on a good day and punishable by death on a bad day. Best thing to do here? Jiggle your keychain while your buddy ties their shoes together and throw what’s purportedly front row tickets to the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour’ mere meters away. When they take the free lunch, airmail ‘Lizard Lenny’ a size 13 to the chin and wait for the unmistakable snorting sound of a man (and I use that word loosely) who’s just been knocked da F out in style.

11:46 pm September, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Without those oversized shades, I’m pretty sure that face would stop a clock.

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A white belt after labor day, honey? That shit don’t play in East Rutherford, NJ.

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Nice gams, though. Na mean?

4:10 am September, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Welcome herd187thinner. Well done.

8:55 am September, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I’m so sceptical and jaded after a couple years perusing this site, I just assume any new poster is actually Nancy D.

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Conspiracy Theory

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