Thursday, September 20, 2012

Ask DB1: GSR During Sexytime?

—————

DB1,

IMHO, the most auto of the auto douche signifiers to my mind is Groin Shave Reveal. GSR=douche. Unless you’re a woman. Then it’s delightful.

My question is this, and of course it’s hypothetical with no basis on reality in my life or the life of any real person living or dead: What if you’re a regular bag mocking normal guy, but your girlfriend ASKS you to implement an aggressive GSR policy, the same poilcy in fact, that she herself subscribes to, and which you enjoy?

Furthermore she lets it be known that should said GSR policy be implemented she will immediately begin doing cool stuff involving your G that she has previously not come close to doing, and which you would very much like her to do? Also, said stuff will be done often and enthusiastically.

Under these circumstances would implementing a GSR policy:

1. auto douche (still)

2. the smart thing to do

3. weenie-like caving

Just wondering so that I can offer informed advice should this issue ever come up. Not with me, of course, but with say a friend who asks me for counsel.

Bflak

——

Good question, Bflak. GSR may be practiced in the safe and private confines of cohabitation games-play. In fact, any douchetribute is fine as part of personal performativity with a partner in service of getting one’s proverbial freak on.

However, should such displays take place in public, and in proximity to a camera for the purposes of exhibitionism… autodouche.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

# posted by douchebag1
9:46 am September, 20 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

What the fuck is with these bags’ torsos ? Were they sucked through some sort of paper mill rollers that flatten them out ? Are they twins ? How else could two freaks share the same mutation. Why are they holding thier sippy cups like phones ? So many questions. It may be time for a lunchtime martini.

9:48 am September, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

DB1 gives the perfect answer. Your girlfriend probably also wants you to tickle her taint with an egret feather… but not necessarily poolside at the Hard Rock hotel while people snap pics for Instagram.

.

Pictured couple seemed miffed an icky hott got between them and their mirror image brojob session.

9:59 am September, 20 The Casual Teabagger said...

As my name implies, I am the Casual Teabagger thus of course I am pro sac shave. During a move I call The Earl Greayt! small hairs could be a hazard. But yeah like DB1 said keep it in the bedroom. Or on top of the dryer or out in back gazebo or a long road trip lest you be labeled a douche.

10:19 am September, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The DoubleGint Twins

10:33 am September, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

GSR that is kept private for carnal usage is A Ok and has become a common courtesy for the most part. No one wants to see a hotdog in a spinach patch nor a fluffy popcorn bush.

Unrelated to pic, sitting with Cap, Sr, Sr at the cardiologist waiting with the rest of the walking dead to be seen listening to a couple of drug reps chat about the biz. As someone who works in the pharm industry, drug reps are a special kind of douche species they in the pharmacy world they are the random pubes that get caught in the smegma of big pharmas ample cock that fucks the public on a regular basis!

10:39 am September, 20 DarkSock said...

Shave that shit. Then demand anal.

.

Son.

10:40 am September, 20 Douche Wayne said...

DB1 reminds us all that the underlying basis of douchery is spectacle. Everything has a time and a place:

– groin shaving = bedroom

– dog tags = around the neck of those serving in the military

– grabbing one’s “junk” = sitting on the couch watching reruns of Pamela Anderson’s “V.I.P.”

. . . thus endeth the lesson.

10:52 am September, 20 DarkSock said...

His groin was hairless

Since she put the gyroscope

In her monkey hole.

11:47 am September, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

The douchiness of GSR is contained in the Reveal aspect. So long as you do not voluntarily display your GS, then

11:47 am September, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

you’re in the clear…

11:48 am September, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

…as it were…

11:54 am September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mrs. Kroeger once shaved my junk and tar sands then proceeded to give me the only free Rusty Trombone I ever received. She was drunk. October is Anal Month. Be kind to an ass!

12:44 pm September, 20 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

The Food Gal has been begging the Old Choad to shave his junk for years.

.

.He has refused, but until this moment didn’t realize he could exact a price for the sacrifice of his pubes.

.

.

.Merci beaucoup to DB1, the Sock and Rev Chad for giving him a bunch of new ideas!

1:54 pm September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

This thread should be mandatory reading. DB1 spits the truff, Rev Chad is STILL my hero and he of the DarkSock has a way with words.

2:28 pm September, 20 The Casual Teabagger said...

If were doing tit for tat and the tat is anal, I’ll take my chances with a pubed up pair. That just means my Jizzmine Tea Smoothie will take a little longer steeping time is all. I’m The Casual Teabagger and I approve of this message.

2:39 pm September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

This thread should be mandatory reading. DB1 speaks the truff, Rev Chad is STILL my hero and he of the DarkSock has a way with words and by way with word I mean no nonsense and to the point.

2:48 pm September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

^Not sure why I posted again it must be because thinking on this topic has got me reminiscing. I don’t have to tell you guys & gals that a finely shorn snatch is a most glorious sight and all that is good in this world. My feeling is if a chick is going to share this with you and hopefully on a medium to long term basis then one should reciprocate and thus a GS is warranted. She’ll will appreciate it and be more eager to chug cawk on a regular basis in the hope that you’ll be doing a lot more muff slurping.

.

69er’s

2:53 pm September, 20 hermit said...

There are only three things worse than groin shave reveal.

.

Full male genital reveal, dysentary and a wall of vinyl siding stretching endlessly into the dreary skies and beyond to an even more dismal, infinity.

3:47 pm September, 20 Anonymous said...

Hall of Scrote Stereodouchtonic Twins I believe…

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/06/stereodouchtonic

4:10 pm September, 20 Stephanie said...

Douchebag oreo cookie.

7:53 pm September, 20 Lokey said...

This is actually one guy but he was such a douche he split in 2 like an amoeba. I am overwhelmed by the Bagsessories…the shades, dog tags, clay-like hair, carrot colored skin…striking..truly striking.

10:31 pm September, 20 Little Willie said...

These two faggots have abnormally elongated torsos. They screw each other in the backside wearing the fucked up sunglasses while they grunt and pound away.

8:15 am September, 21 Baron Von Goolo said...

Bflak, just remember this handy mnemonic:

.

GS – a thousand times yes.

GSR – you’ve gone too far.

.

The More You Know.™

10:35 am September, 21 Mr. Biggs said...

DB1 is right. Indeed, we could look at the etymology of the word “douche” to arrive at his judgment here. Why is the douche named after that vaginal washing procedure? Because it is generally regarded as an intimate affair to be done in private. If a woman were to douche out in public, in some stylized display, well, that would be pretty douchey. Get it?

So the douchebag takes these iconic images and habits and makes a public stylized display of them, to prove his worthiness in such private and intimate affairs. Therefore earning his namesake.

11:49 am September, 21 Wheezer said...

[Et Tu Douche? said...

This thread should be mandatory reading.]

.

I concur.

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