Friday, September 14, 2012
Friday Haiku
Their “Get Rich Quick” Scheme?
Join the G.O.P. and sell
Their baby Trump doll!
Koreshbag Poses
With newest members; she’ll be
Chuggin his wang soon.
— Capt. James T. Douche
A nominal fee
earns your child The Macho Man
as his Godfather.
— Douche Wayne
Muslim terrorists
Look at this picture and know
That we are beaten
— DoucheyWallnuts
Things have never been
the same, since the baby came
out her monkey hole
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Run out of diapers
Baby in hot dog roll bag
It’s their condom, too
— Vin Douchal
bun out of oven
despairs future prospects
wants to burrow back
— creature
It puts the baby
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Hairy hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Koreshbag Poses
With newest members she’ll be
Chuggin his wang soon.
Jessica Simpsons
Family photos are just plain
Fuggin scary shit!
Leader of hippie
Death cult shares his love for boobs
Douche drinks the kool-aid
The lost Allman bro
Goes polyamorous with
Douche family.
Did this picture come
From an unsolved murder case
From a few years back?
He was just paroled
For failure to register.
As sex offender
All the episodes
of C.S.I. Bakersfield
Are just like this pic
Pastor Lovegood gives
His blessing to Daisy Mae
In the barn daily.
A nominal fee
earns your child The Macho Man
as his Godfather.
This episode of
“To Catch a Predator” was
Really funny!
Under Obama
This will be the new normal
Is the new normal
Muslim terrorists
Look at this picture and know
That we are beaten
The year 2010
Jesus, Mary and Joseph
With Jesus, Jr.
Uncle Diddles comes
Home from his “vacation” to
See “favorite” neice.
Bath Salts Jesus has
A bona fide deal to get
Rich, needs all your cash.
Baby has two dads
Bleeth just pumped it out for cash
She’s not needed now
Why do I get the
Feeling that we will see them
Again on Dateline.
There is the distinct
Possibility that they
All share the same bed.
TLC is on
The phone, they think we have a
Reality show!
Dr. Doobie Puff
Will make a baby with your
Woman, since you can’t
First time ever that
Baby girl wishes that she
Was born in China
The 70s called
They want to remind us that
“Free Love” is not free
Smoketree Ministries
Latest members have their kid
Baptized by Rev Doobs
“SNAP INTO IT!! YEAH!!”
Take it easy, Macho Man,
you’ll wake the baby.
Dudes with excessive
arm flab should not wear tank tops.
Bono doesn’t mind.
The Grieco virus
is so strong with this young one.
Dark side wins again.
What the fuck ? What the
fuck. What the fuck ? What the fuck ?
What the fuck ? What the ?
Things have never been
the same, since the baby came
out her monkey hole
Blonde with stripper shoes
loves holding her new baby.
Dudes touch each other.
In Rev Chad’s absence:
Gyroscopic monkey hole
Spawns hissing fetus.
There has been way more
Than gyroscopes put in that
Monkey hole, no doubt!
Grizzly Adams grins
Thinks about getting haircut
Where will critters live?
Same girl in three pics?
Or just unfortunate they
might all look alike?
Shoes repulse bed bugs
Sasquatch is better abode
Than bleeth baby mom
Stolen baby now
in Dr. Feelgood’s basement
Stripper must die now.
And the winner of
“Most Disturbing Family
Portrait Ever” is ….
Dude, WFT?
WTF, WTF, dude?
Really, WTF?
Who are we to judge
the bastard spawn of The Dude
and Tarantino?
Anyone notice
that fetus doesn’t look like
any of these three?
Run out of diapers
Baby in hot dog roll bag
It’s their condom, too
Couple celebrates
successful mobile home birth
by methed-out mid-wife.
Genetic defects
start to appear as fetus
has only one arm.
Bleeth spawned Ginger sleeps
Dressed like red grilled cheese sandwich
Child’s future is bleak
Time to cue banjos
Beardo baby daddy or
Just beaming granpa?
This is what you get
when you splice DNA from
wombats into Slim Jims.
.
.
.
.
.
I know last line is 6 but I don’t give a shit.
I can explain this:
Boobs, and baby are both fake,
wait, what’s with the shoes?
Kid looks like it has
already been dropped on its
head too many times.
The Norwegians don’t
abide with postnatal plan.
Dress kid in bread suit.
trailerpark feast day
baby found in the trashbin
is cooked & eaten
Does my reaction
to this horrible image
mean I’m still human?
License for dogs, check
but no but no need for one to breed.
Why not I ask, why?
License for dogs, check
but need no license to breed.
Why not I ask, why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
retards shouldn’t type haikus
bun out of oven
despairs future prospects
wants to burrow back
Love Guru don’t wash
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
sex with two devils
produces a demonseed
they want to replant it
Lenny The Box shares
His weed like he shares his seed.
Chronic and bushy.
doomed to failure
or greatest longshot ever
childhood photo proof
Gorillas are known
To adopt human babies
Approach with caution
a young Bill Clinton
arose from dubious roots
still turned out douchebag
Fraulein was hired for
Octoberfist party bash
Spelling does matter
Baby born, no brain
At Island of Dr. Horeaux
Mother is half-goat.
It puts the baby
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Hairy hose.
Frightwig Freddie asks
And answers age-old question
Carpet matches gapes.
Bucky was so full
Of Oxytocin and weed she
Shot fetus through wall.
Bucky had such a tight
Cooter, the placenta pulled her
Uterus full prolapse.
Hairy dude had the
Munchies so bad, placenta
Disclored his ‘stache.
Polyamorous
New word ripped from the headlines
Kid will be screwed up
Last picture taken
At commune shows anti-christ.
Kool-Aid free for all.
Just For Men ad shows
That a little bit of grey at
The temples is best.
@ Rev
.
No more “placenta”
Cali town getting angry
Spell it right, douchebag
.
.
.
Placentia
Fontucky music
Man questions man of the cloth.
Cali is pregos.
Ginger baby to
Grow up mocked for family
Unit, and red hair.
Gingers have no souls.
Kill it now! Burn it with the
Hellfire in mom’s vag.
New Age trio goes
Old School. Smokes Thalidimide
For kicks. Fetus knows.
we are not hungry
no food shortage in Van Nuys
wrap babies like ham
A Woodstock coupling
produced a tunic clad child.
Man, those were the days.
You can add this one to your WTF? file:
http://vk.com/photo147992925_285565287
The gyroscope has
Never been the same since it
Left her monkey hole
Mostly plastic hott
Gives birth to all plastic tott
This seems about right (?)
Paisley Douche Tank Douche
Doctor Shockley’s House of Sperm
Choose Mystery Bin
Putin should jail them
after this Pussy Riot
unwanted fetus.
Penelope Pitstink
Saved by Snidely Cockrash and
Dudley Douchewrong. Son.
Sometimes when I smoke
Stong weed with Cymbalta I
See real weird threesomes.
Didn’t post my comment
To SSS last night. Too stoned!
Comment of the week!
Freedom Rock ad brings
welcome nostalgia; Moondog
just brings STDs
Three generations?
Dad with his kids? Right answer:
Worst love-in ever.
At least one person
in this pic don’t know real dad
Can you guess which one?
These gypsies are not
getting a new show on T-
LC this season.
.
Honey Boo Boo just
called DB1. She’s ready
for her closeup now.
.
Since Snookie was brought
into our viewing lives, it’s
all been downhill. Ugh
Trophy wife Brittni
(with an “i”) gets jealous, nervous
near Donnie’s boy-toy
Dude McCrudeshoes @ 9:53 am
I regret clicking that link. It looks like she’s had hand enlargement surgery, too.
.
It’s with real shame that I confess I googled her name, and came across this treasure:
http://vk.com/albums161640001?profile=1&z=photo161640001_288086242%2Fphotos161640001
@Dark Sock Is Tardos
.
How long was the Holy Triumvirate’s concert in NOLA?
Fuck I should have made that a haiku
I’m so sad that this
Baby never had a chance
for a normal life
Holy shit, Foghorn. That Googlheim material.
Vaginal pusswarts
Were the second worst result
Of this coupling
Saturday Haiku
Is much more fun with bourbon
And head from the wife
Afterbirth on toast
Is on the buffet menu
At this christening
Seeing this picture
Makes me wish I took acid;
Prep for this horror
After two bourbons
This picture still makes me ill
More booze is needed
Frightwig Freddy is
So funny I pissed pants
Pissed my pants, I says
This is first baby
Conceived as a result of
Two guys fucking ass
On Saturday night
Over 100 haikus
And still no winners
Working the night shift
Thought I’d haiku some more
Can’t drink on the job
Modern day Manson
Family laments the birth of
The Snooki baby.
After six bourbons
I think I would bang Snooki
Bang Snooki, I says
I hate Notre Dame
Eliitist college Douchebags
Touchdown Jesus Freaks
USC cheer gals
Give me renoB U Can C
Masterbation time
Stanford Cardinal
Their mascot is a color
What the fuck is that?
Rev Doobiemeister
Loves to smoke out and orgy
With fetus shaped bong
I love to waste time
On Hot Chicks With Douchebags site
On company time.
Back to the picture
I would strangle that baby
To save it from them
I wish I could drink
And masterbate but there are
Security cams
Bad case of herpes
Is in that baby’s future;
Baby jokes are in
Its been a banner
Week for religious assfucks
But this blew my mind
Baby is thinking
Abortion would be better
Than living like this
My wife is asleep
So I put “it” in her hand
And move to and fro
They tried to smoke the
Afterbirth but it just would
Not light, don’t know why?
Somebody put in
A call to Brangelina she
Collects freak babies
One time I popped off
In sleeping gfs crack by
Rocking to and fro
This proves we are doomed
Modern life has become a
Race to the bottom
Human sacrifice
Is on the menu tonight
Babies taste so good
They got so messed up
They put the kid in the stove
And turkey in crib!
Uncle Diddles is
Fresh out on parole with a
“Lollipop” for all
USC will lose
National Title hopes gone
Cheer gals bang like champs
Haiku overload
Time to crap and go to bed
And bang the Mrs
Goddam Somali
Kid puked in my bathroom, why
Do we let them in???
Islamic terror
Cell uses this to recruit
Camel fuckers BOOM!
Second coming of
Bath salts Jesus he will cum
All over them both.
Jesus what do these
Fuckers eat ? I thought they were
All starving to death?
I’m not sure if that
Was puke or shit either way
I’m not eating again!
I hope DB1
Is not subpoenaed when
They’re bodies turn up.
The whole dynamic
Will sour when the Stockholm
Syndrome is undone.
Somewhere there is a
Gyroscope maker weeping
Salty fuccen tears
Just checked the shelf there
Is a special on Axe™ spray
Come all ye’ doucheful!
L. Ron Largeman has
Always been the black sheep of
The family tree.
Daisy Mae Largeman
Has long battled a case of
Nymphomania.
Want to go rub one
Out in bathroom but still smells
Like Somali puke!
Organic living
She plans to breast feed all three
Of these freaks daily
Where the fuck is
That drunk cow Sally Struthers
To mop up bathroom!
Goddam my farts stink
From that Greek food that I ate
Earlier tonight!
Anyone ever
Wondered what the inside of
A car trunk looks like?
Since the Muslims are
Rioting will Darksock start
Peeing in camels?
I’m so happy that
Mario Lopez will be
Getting a Dutch hat!
Somebody call Chuck
Lorre I think they will be
His next hit sit-com.
I look at things like
This pic and I have to ask
Where is your god now?
As the old saying
Goes, you can’t squeeze breast milk from
A pair of bolt ons.
Haiku All-nighter
Picture seared into my brain
Drinking numbs the pain
Total Recall douche
Come closer and let Kuato
read your empty mind