Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday Haiku

Their “Get Rich Quick” Scheme?

Join the G.O.P. and sell

Their baby Trump doll!

Koreshbag Poses

With newest members; she’ll be

Chuggin his wang soon.

— Capt. James T. Douche

A nominal fee

earns your child The Macho Man

as his Godfather.

— Douche Wayne

Muslim terrorists

Look at this picture and know

That we are beaten

— DoucheyWallnuts

Things have never been

the same, since the baby came

out her monkey hole

— Magnum Douche P. I.

Run out of diapers

Baby in hot dog roll bag

It’s their condom, too

— Vin Douchal

bun out of oven

despairs future prospects

wants to burrow back

— creature

It puts the baby

In the basket or it gets

The hose. Hairy hose.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:38 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Koreshbag Poses

With newest members she’ll be

Chuggin his wang soon.

6:40 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Jessica Simpsons

Family photos are just plain

Fuggin scary shit!

6:43 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Leader of hippie

Death cult shares his love for boobs

Douche drinks the kool-aid

6:45 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The lost Allman bro

Goes polyamorous with

Douche family.

6:48 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Did this picture come

From an unsolved murder case

From a few years back?

6:50 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He was just paroled

For failure to register.

As sex offender

6:53 am September, 14 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

All the episodes

of C.S.I. Bakersfield

Are just like this pic

6:55 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Pastor Lovegood gives

His blessing to Daisy Mae

In the barn daily.

6:55 am September, 14 Douche Wayne said...

A nominal fee

earns your child The Macho Man

as his Godfather.

6:57 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This episode of

“To Catch a Predator” was

Really funny!

6:59 am September, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Under Obama

This will be the new normal

Is the new normal

7:00 am September, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Muslim terrorists

Look at this picture and know

That we are beaten

7:05 am September, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The year 2010

Jesus, Mary and Joseph

With Jesus, Jr.

7:05 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Uncle Diddles comes

Home from his “vacation” to

See “favorite” neice.

7:08 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bath Salts Jesus has

A bona fide deal to get

Rich, needs all your cash.

7:08 am September, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Baby has two dads

Bleeth just pumped it out for cash

She’s not needed now

7:11 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Why do I get the

Feeling that we will see them

Again on Dateline.

7:15 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

There is the distinct

Possibility that they

All share the same bed.

7:17 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

TLC is on

The phone, they think we have a

Reality show!

7:19 am September, 14 saulgoode42 said...

Dr. Doobie Puff

Will make a baby with your

Woman, since you can’t

7:23 am September, 14 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

First time ever that

Baby girl wishes that she

Was born in China

7:24 am September, 14 The Dude said...

The 70s called

They want to remind us that

“Free Love” is not free

7:26 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Smoketree Ministries

Latest members have their kid

Baptized by Rev Doobs

7:34 am September, 14 Douche Wayne said...

“SNAP INTO IT!! YEAH!!”

Take it easy, Macho Man,

you’ll wake the baby.

7:37 am September, 14 Ferris said...

Dudes with excessive

arm flab should not wear tank tops.

Bono doesn’t mind.

7:46 am September, 14 Ferris said...

The Grieco virus

is so strong with this young one.

Dark side wins again.

7:54 am September, 14 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

What the fuck ? What the

fuck. What the fuck ? What the fuck ?

What the fuck ? What the ?

7:57 am September, 14 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Things have never been

the same, since the baby came

out her monkey hole

7:59 am September, 14 Ferris said...

Blonde with stripper shoes

loves holding her new baby.

Dudes touch each other.

8:00 am September, 14 Hermit said...

In Rev Chad’s absence:

Gyroscopic monkey hole

Spawns hissing fetus.

8:03 am September, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

There has been way more

Than gyroscopes put in that

Monkey hole, no doubt!

8:04 am September, 14 Blind Squirrel said...

Grizzly Adams grins

Thinks about getting haircut

Where will critters live?

8:04 am September, 14 UFO Destroyers said...

Same girl in three pics?

Or just unfortunate they

might all look alike?

8:05 am September, 14 Blind Squirrel said...

Shoes repulse bed bugs

Sasquatch is better abode

Than bleeth baby mom

8:07 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Stolen baby now

in Dr. Feelgood’s basement

Stripper must die now.

8:08 am September, 14 Ferris said...

And the winner of

“Most Disturbing Family

Portrait Ever” is ….

8:09 am September, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Dude, WFT?

WTF, WTF, dude?

Really, WTF?

8:10 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Who are we to judge

the bastard spawn of The Dude

and Tarantino?

8:12 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Anyone notice

that fetus doesn’t look like

any of these three?

8:14 am September, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Run out of diapers

Baby in hot dog roll bag

It’s their condom, too

8:15 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Couple celebrates

successful mobile home birth

by methed-out mid-wife.

8:17 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Genetic defects

start to appear as fetus

has only one arm.

8:20 am September, 14 Blind Squirrel said...

Bleeth spawned Ginger sleeps

Dressed like red grilled cheese sandwich

Child’s future is bleak

8:22 am September, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Time to cue banjos

Beardo baby daddy or

Just beaming granpa?

8:24 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This is what you get

when you splice DNA from

wombats into Slim Jims.

.

.

.

.

.

I know last line is 6 but I don’t give a shit.

8:26 am September, 14 Charles Douchewin said...

I can explain this:

Boobs, and baby are both fake,

wait, what’s with the shoes?

8:27 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Kid looks like it has

already been dropped on its

head too many times.

8:29 am September, 14 UFO Destroyers said...

The Norwegians don’t

abide with postnatal plan.

Dress kid in bread suit.

8:31 am September, 14 creature said...

trailerpark feast day

baby found in the trashbin

is cooked & eaten

8:31 am September, 14 Charles Douchewin said...

Does my reaction

to this horrible image

mean I’m still human?

8:31 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

License for dogs, check

but no but no need for one to breed.

Why not I ask, why?

8:33 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

License for dogs, check

but need no license to breed.

Why not I ask, why?

.

.

.

.

.

.

retards shouldn’t type haikus

8:34 am September, 14 creature said...

bun out of oven

despairs future prospects

wants to burrow back

8:36 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Love Guru don’t wash

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole

8:36 am September, 14 creature said...

sex with two devils

produces a demonseed

they want to replant it

8:38 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lenny The Box shares

His weed like he shares his seed.

Chronic and bushy.

8:39 am September, 14 creature said...

doomed to failure

or greatest longshot ever

childhood photo proof

8:39 am September, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Gorillas are known

To adopt human babies

Approach with caution

8:41 am September, 14 creature said...

a young Bill Clinton

arose from dubious roots

still turned out douchebag

8:43 am September, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Fraulein was hired for

Octoberfist party bash

Spelling does matter

8:45 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Baby born, no brain

At Island of Dr. Horeaux

Mother is half-goat.

8:46 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts the baby

In the basket or it gets

The hose. Hairy hose.

8:49 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Frightwig Freddie asks

And answers age-old question

Carpet matches gapes.

8:51 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bucky was so full

Of Oxytocin and weed she

Shot fetus through wall.

8:51 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bucky had such a tight

Cooter, the placenta pulled her

Uterus full prolapse.

8:52 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hairy dude had the

Munchies so bad, placenta

Disclored his ‘stache.

8:56 am September, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Polyamorous

New word ripped from the headlines

Kid will be screwed up

8:57 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Last picture taken

At commune shows anti-christ.

Kool-Aid free for all.

8:59 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Just For Men ad shows

That a little bit of grey at

The temples is best.

8:59 am September, 14 Vin Douchal said...

@ Rev

.

No more “placenta”

Cali town getting angry

Spell it right, douchebag

.

.

.

Placentia

9:01 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fontucky music

Man questions man of the cloth.

Cali is pregos.

9:02 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ginger baby to

Grow up mocked for family

Unit, and red hair.

9:03 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Gingers have no souls.

Kill it now! Burn it with the

Hellfire in mom’s vag.

9:06 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

New Age trio goes

Old School. Smokes Thalidimide

For kicks. Fetus knows.

9:07 am September, 14 creature said...

we are not hungry

no food shortage in Van Nuys

wrap babies like ham

9:25 am September, 14 FoghornLeghorn said...

A Woodstock coupling

produced a tunic clad child.

Man, those were the days.

9:53 am September, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

You can add this one to your WTF? file:

http://vk.com/photo147992925_285565287

10:01 am September, 14 The Dude said...

The gyroscope has

Never been the same since it

Left her monkey hole

10:28 am September, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Mostly plastic hott

Gives birth to all plastic tott

This seems about right (?)

10:38 am September, 14 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Paisley Douche Tank Douche

Doctor Shockley’s House of Sperm

Choose Mystery Bin

10:52 am September, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Putin should jail them

after this Pussy Riot

unwanted fetus.

11:14 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Penelope Pitstink

Saved by Snidely Cockrash and

Dudley Douchewrong. Son.

11:15 am September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sometimes when I smoke

Stong weed with Cymbalta I

See real weird threesomes.

12:05 pm September, 14 Rev Chad Whacked Out said...

Didn’t post my comment

To SSS last night. Too stoned!

Comment of the week!

12:16 pm September, 14 Morbo said...

Freedom Rock ad brings

welcome nostalgia; Moondog

just brings STDs

12:18 pm September, 14 Morbo said...

Three generations?

Dad with his kids? Right answer:

Worst love-in ever.

12:20 pm September, 14 Morbo said...

At least one person

in this pic don’t know real dad

Can you guess which one?

12:21 pm September, 14 UFO Destroyers said...

These gypsies are not

getting a new show on T-

LC this season.

.

Honey Boo Boo just

called DB1. She’s ready

for her closeup now.

.

Since Snookie was brought

into our viewing lives, it’s

all been downhill. Ugh

12:22 pm September, 14 Morbo said...

Trophy wife Brittni

(with an “i”) gets jealous, nervous

near Donnie’s boy-toy

2:39 pm September, 14 FoghornLeghorn said...

Dude McCrudeshoes @ 9:53 am

I regret clicking that link. It looks like she’s had hand enlargement surgery, too.

.

It’s with real shame that I confess I googled her name, and came across this treasure:

http://vk.com/albums161640001?profile=1&z=photo161640001_288086242%2Fphotos161640001

3:42 pm September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dark Sock Is Tardos

.

How long was the Holy Triumvirate’s concert in NOLA?

3:42 pm September, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck I should have made that a haiku

5:21 pm September, 14 ehcuodouche said...

I’m so sad that this

Baby never had a chance

for a normal life

5:51 pm September, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Holy shit, Foghorn. That Googlheim material.

2:43 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Vaginal pusswarts

Were the second worst result

Of this coupling

2:45 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Saturday Haiku

Is much more fun with bourbon

And head from the wife

2:48 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Afterbirth on toast

Is on the buffet menu

At this christening

2:51 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Seeing this picture

Makes me wish I took acid;

Prep for this horror

4:17 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

After two bourbons

This picture still makes me ill

More booze is needed

4:24 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Frightwig Freddy is

So funny I pissed pants

Pissed my pants, I says

4:27 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is first baby

Conceived as a result of

Two guys fucking ass

4:29 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

On Saturday night

Over 100 haikus

And still no winners

6:39 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Working the night shift

Thought I’d haiku some more

Can’t drink on the job

6:46 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Modern day Manson

Family laments the birth of

The Snooki baby.

6:57 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

After six bourbons

I think I would bang Snooki

Bang Snooki, I says

6:59 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I hate Notre Dame

Eliitist college Douchebags

Touchdown Jesus Freaks

7:01 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

USC cheer gals

Give me renoB U Can C

Masterbation time

7:05 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Stanford Cardinal

Their mascot is a color

What the fuck is that?

7:09 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Rev Doobiemeister

Loves to smoke out and orgy

With fetus shaped bong

7:11 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I love to waste time

On Hot Chicks With Douchebags site

On company time.

7:12 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Back to the picture

I would strangle that baby

To save it from them

7:13 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I wish I could drink

And masterbate but there are

Security cams

7:15 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bad case of herpes

Is in that baby’s future;

Baby jokes are in

7:15 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Its been a banner

Week for religious assfucks

But this blew my mind

7:17 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Baby is thinking

Abortion would be better

Than living like this

7:20 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

My wife is asleep

So I put “it” in her hand

And move to and fro

7:20 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

They tried to smoke the

Afterbirth but it just would

Not light, don’t know why?

7:25 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Somebody put in

A call to Brangelina she

Collects freak babies

7:27 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

One time I popped off

In sleeping gfs crack by

Rocking to and fro

7:31 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This proves we are doomed

Modern life has become a

Race to the bottom

7:31 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Human sacrifice

Is on the menu tonight

Babies taste so good

7:33 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

They got so messed up

They put the kid in the stove

And turkey in crib!

7:34 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Uncle Diddles is

Fresh out on parole with a

“Lollipop” for all

7:36 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

USC will lose

National Title hopes gone

Cheer gals bang like champs

7:40 pm September, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Haiku overload

Time to crap and go to bed

And bang the Mrs

7:42 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Goddam Somali

Kid puked in my bathroom, why

Do we let them in???

8:05 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Islamic terror

Cell uses this to recruit

Camel fuckers BOOM!

8:09 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Second coming of

Bath salts Jesus he will cum

All over them both.

8:12 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Jesus what do these

Fuckers eat ? I thought they were

All starving to death?

8:55 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m not sure if that

Was puke or shit either way

I’m not eating again!

9:06 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I hope DB1

Is not subpoenaed when

They’re bodies turn up.

9:10 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The whole dynamic

Will sour when the Stockholm

Syndrome is undone.

9:12 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Somewhere there is a

Gyroscope maker weeping

Salty fuccen tears

9:15 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Just checked the shelf there

Is a special on Axe™ spray

Come all ye’ doucheful!

9:28 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

L. Ron Largeman has

Always been the black sheep of

The family tree.

9:33 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Daisy Mae Largeman

Has long battled a case of

Nymphomania.

9:50 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Want to go rub one

Out in bathroom but still smells

Like Somali puke!

10:54 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Organic living

She plans to breast feed all three

Of these freaks daily

10:56 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Where the fuck is

That drunk cow Sally Struthers

To mop up bathroom!

10:59 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Goddam my farts stink

From that Greek food that I ate

Earlier tonight!

11:07 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Anyone ever

Wondered what the inside of

A car trunk looks like?

11:12 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Since the Muslims are

Rioting will Darksock start

Peeing in camels?

11:18 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m so happy that

Mario Lopez will be

Getting a Dutch hat!

11:29 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Somebody call Chuck

Lorre I think they will be

His next hit sit-com.

11:32 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I look at things like

This pic and I have to ask

Where is your god now?

11:52 pm September, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

As the old saying

Goes, you can’t squeeze breast milk from

A pair of bolt ons.

5:56 am September, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Haiku All-nighter

Picture seared into my brain

Drinking numbs the pain

9:11 am September, 18 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Total Recall douche

Come closer and let Kuato

read your empty mind

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 12 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)