Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Oh Orange hatted turd and bleeth. How you deserve each other.

Your humb narrs is sipping on a URC of quality Mogen David fortified strawberry and lime wine. To honor the New Year.

I sit my unshaven ass in temple and reflect. And by reflect, I mean checking out the hott Beverly Hills Semitic Suckle Thighs. They of the overpriced bags, dating the overpriced ‘bags.

And so my rants continue, but also in a new venue. Lucky Punkass.

Finally live. No idea what I’m going to say on it. Doubtful many will read it. But I need it for my sanity. So there’s that.

Here’s your links:

“‘”What has restrained the beasts of prey who are called men?'”

Malaysia declares V-Necks to be “gay”. This is awful, bigoted crap. Mock douchebags for looking douchey, yes. I can support that. But targeting gay people based on some supposed dress code? We should drop these clowns into Jersey and let them try to categorize sexual preference based on clothing. Pisses me off. Even makes me want to start wearing a v-neck as a gesture of resistance. Not that I will. Just sayin’.

Hug me? Hug me!

The many faces of Cusack. Loooong time readers of HCwDB might remember my trip to the Better Off Dead house back in the halcyon days of ’07. Please do not judge my choppy-ass writing in that post, I was still figuring the site out. That movie was perfection. My pilgrimage to Lane Meyer’s home was my own trip to Mecca.

Oh, racism on television. Is there no ethnicity you can’t mock?

The Champagne Sisters (Katie, Kelly, and Karmen) are nothing but trouble. Boobie trouble.

Rebel without a clue.

Next thing you’ll tell me is that the obnoxious guy in those 1990s “eat something!” Subway ads was actually Keith Olbermann.

But you are not here for 90s Olbermann. You are here for Pear.

Slow-mo pear slap.

The ripples of a better tomorrow. And, to honor my former life in NYC:

Big Apple Pear

Juicy.

# posted by douchebag1
12:07 pm September, 21 Charles Smythe-Smythe-Smythe said...

Hopefully someone has Big Apple Pear’s name (or stage name) available – anyone?

12:22 pm September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Happy Rosh and Yom dude. Are comments allowed on your new Licky Punkass site? Cause you know we follow you like a porn Moses. I suggest tou call this site for a mature Jewess Duo, of trannies. to celebrate.

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http://losangeles.backpage.com/TranssexualEscorts/im-looking-to-entertain-gentlemen-the-like-to-have-fun-ts-barbara-100-recent-pics-party-girl-23/24829997

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That is one hot tranny if you don’t mind chicks with cocks.

And @Et Tu, your pick of game for the weekend. I don’t care who wins. Kids are going and I’m working with the wife this weekend. And by working with the wife this weekend I mean helping her with her final thesis and getting stoned, eating Cialis, drinking anything I see and at least one anal adventure into the stinky depths I love. I like it sometimes when I start knocking a turd and my dick comes out with a little Dairy Queen swirl on the tip. Son.

12:26 pm September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Why aren’t my comments showing up with the tranny link?

12:27 pm September, 21 Wheezer said...

Why is the tattooed douchewank in the photo farting in the presence of the hott? She is gagging not only on the poo metaphor that is he, but also on the overwhelming reality of his gaseous nature in combination with the Axe stench.

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But I’ll console myself with the Pear. Oh yes, and a Flock of Smeagols:

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http://media.celebremix.com/5/mediaFiles/remix/663/7813.jpg

12:49 pm September, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

To protest the hideousness of the bleeth in the above photo – especially the disturbing growths on her torso – which no amount of pear could repair, I refuse to comment on any Friday links.

12:59 pm September, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Come to think of it, I’d like to see footage of every douchebag pictured this week getting tased. With a welding torch. That’d be awesome

1:12 pm September, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Db1 forgot to link Vera Jimenez today

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‘At’s okay, I got it

1:19 pm September, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I remember on Friday’s looking forward to reading this poster’s comments:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gId6nrMDmUU&feature=related

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Where, oh, where did they go?

1:24 pm September, 21 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Fairly certain “Big Apple Pear” is NOT in NYC.

Maybe Vegas near the NY/NY Hotel?

2:15 pm September, 21 The Casual Teabagger said...

Hey DB1, that Annoying Orange guy has his own show. Hollywood can’t be that hard to crack. Anyways, I’m sure inspiration will strike soon. If not theres always posting pictures of lady butts to fill the void. Shalom.

2:52 pm September, 21 The Casual Teabagger said...

What about a show called “Boobie Trouble”? I smell a hit.

3:21 pm September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sometimes when I’m outa town, I like to set up a little bar in my hotel room, roll of few doobs, and find a duo or trio of fattie escorts to smother me with their huge tits and ample labiage. A bit of proplapsed uterus always adds to the fun. Fatties swallow and take it in the ass hard.

3:26 pm September, 21 The Casual Teabagger said...

^To Fatties! Fat chicks and fat dudes must have like the best sex ever. Both of them making up for their obesity with sexual favors.

3:36 pm September, 21 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Orange Hatt and Scab Torso Bleeth literally look like the poster couple for the Bubonic Plague. I feel like I need a vaccine just for having seen them.

DB1 – pleez place a link to lunky punkass on the tab line for HCWDB. And I am hopeful you will turn it into something akin to a bbs forum.

The Champagne sisters – Katie looks……..hhhggggnnuuuuunnngggghh!!!!!!! The middle sister is just as hawt. The one on the right……must be the one with the smarts. Yah. And the…..uhhhh…….great personality. Yup…..

The slow mo pear slap made me spooge. Sorry, had to admit to it.

3:48 pm September, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev,

Steelers v Raiders? I gots the Steelers.

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I concur with DouchYouWannaDance re; “Big Apple Pear” but none the less tis a nice a pear. Ahh fall is here and with that all sorts of autumnal crisp pear. The extremely firm Seckel, the juicy Bartlett, and the crisp Comice. Mmmm….Pear!!.

.

Another great ski movie, along the line of what DB1 was talking about was “Hot Dog….The Movie” Shannon Tweed gave a young ETD? renob on more then one occasion.

3:54 pm September, 21 FredN. said...

Hey Rev.

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WTF

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That shemale is fuccin HOTT.

4:10 pm September, 21 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

‘Tis true. The larger ladies try way harder in bed. It’s the only way they can score the repeat business. I always appreciated the effort. Some hotter girls just lay there, like the mere sight of them naked should be enough (and sometimes, it kind of is), but the beefier ones give it all they got. Thank you booze.

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@ Et Tu & Rev

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Nah, man. Game of the week is between Kansas State and Oklahoma or Florida State and Clemson (Plus, whomever is playing Ohio State, the most blessed team in the land. That opponent is UAB this week. And they shall get trounced. Nest week vs Michigan State is going to be a doozy).Shit, Even Michigan vs Notre Dame should be damn entertaining. How can you even watch the NFL right now? They have high school referees. It’s turrible (In the words of Sir Charles Barkley). I can’t even watch it.

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Grab yourself a 22oz of Arogant Bastard Ale and a flask of Makers Mark, and decend into the best executed example of modern slavery that exists today – College Football (And don’t tell me it ain’t slavery – bunch of Black Athletes run by White Head Coaches, University Presidents, TV Officials, and NCAA Officials, making $4 billion a year and not paying them.) It’s gonna be a slick week in College Ball. And run by actual, profesisonal referees.

4:49 pm September, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Sergeant Scrote Stain

I like your style, son. Arrogant Bastard Ale is a fine beverage. I’ll see your Arrogant Bastard and suggest a strong Belgian Piraat Ale at 10.50% ABV.

4:56 pm September, 21 The Casual Teabagger said...

Dudes, the best chick is the gal that used to be obese and then she list weight but in her head she still thinks she’s fat. Classic. High five bros?

4:57 pm September, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Orange Hat Turd & Bleeth are so skanky the word “skanky” is suing them for Defamation of Character

4:57 pm September, 21 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

@ Et Tu

.

Might just have to take you up on that Belgian Pirate. Although, Arrogant Double Bastard Ale also sports a 10.5%. And I am a creature of habbit. Might just have to rock both.

4:58 pm September, 21 The Casual Teabagger said...

list = lost, but I mean c’mon who other than your Mom or third grade teacher gives a shit?

5:18 pm September, 21 Troy Tempest said...

list = lost, but I mean c’mon who other than your Mom or third grade teacher gives a shit?

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Yeah, because my mom was always really strict about my spelling when I talked about banging fat chicks, said no one, ever.

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5:38 pm September, 21 The Casual Teabagger said...

@Troy, exactly. That’s why I always wondered why you guys made huge bitch fit over people who wrote in and had misspellings in their takedown requests.

6:20 pm September, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

I just noticed bleeth in pic above has what looks to be scabs or burn marks on her landing area. Can Junk Butter cause burning?.

6:22 pm September, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Sergeant Scrote Stain

“Might just have to take you up on that Belgian Pirate. Although, Arrogant Double Bastard Ale also sports a 10.5%. And I am a creature of habbit. Might just have to rock both.”

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^That’s a lofty goal and dare I say Rev Chad territory, proceed with caution and enjoy.

6:35 pm September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I got my closest neighbors kid playing fucking shitty ass shitty funky chick trunk wonka donk “Afro Vibes” and the drummer is the shizzle ‘yo. His efforts are encouraged. And by encouraged I mean it’s the only way to get caucasian girls to come to this end of town. Get Braced!

6:38 pm September, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@SSS

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Ièm really stoned and welcome back. Son.

7:28 pm September, 21 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

@ Rev

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Well, I’m getting quite shlitzed on Makers while I watch this surprisingly entertaining Baylor vs UL Monroe game. So, um, I don’t know; do whatever it is that you do. Which, I’m pretty sure, is getting high. God bless drinking. And drugs. And pear. And extremely attractive grannies.

7:29 pm September, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Staying true to my protest, I am not commenting on Friday links, but posting a link to a video of a women pissing in a crowded subway train. Watch Societal Loss take place on a massive scale as this sub-creature pisses on the floor of a subway and people stand there and watch, and then try to wipe the piss up. No doubt a women’s right to chose extends to being allowed to piss wherever she wants. Extinction is near.

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http://observer.com/2012/09/tgif-everyone-lady-urinates-proceeds-to-take-shower-on-subway-video/

7:43 pm September, 21 DarkSock said...

I’d like to be the worm in her Big Apple.

1:32 am September, 22 Baron Von Goolo said...

“Lime”? The label on your Mogen David clearly pictures *kiwi* and strawberries.

YOUR LIES HAVE GROWN TIRESOME!!!

5:22 am September, 22 Dickie Fingers said...

Something has been chewing on her gunt and fingernails. They both look like carriers of hanta virus.

5:27 am September, 22 Troy Tempest said...

CT missed the point, AGAIN with:

@Troy, exactly. That’s why I always wondered why you guys made huge bitch fit over people who wrote in and had misspellings in their takedown requests.

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No, because NO ONE’S MOM is going to pitch a fit about how you spell when you talk about bangin’ fat chicks, because she’ll be too busy slapping you up the side of the head for being such a crude retard. We are not your mom, we are much worse, and we reserve the right to make fun of people’s spelling errors when they type their idiotic responses to our righteous indignation at their inane existence.

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Speak and Spells.

7:03 am September, 22 The Casual Teabagger said...

@Troy. I was just sayin’. And you’re right my Moms is a lot more chill. Dang. Crude retard, out.

10:32 am September, 22 Anonymous said...

^ WhAt aBoUt DaDdIo, dReUChE?

11:56 am September, 22 The Casual Teabagger said...

PrEtTy DaMn AwEsOmE.

1:27 pm September, 22 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Big Apple Pear for HoH and HoP immediately.

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