Monday, September 3, 2012

Happy Labor Day!

Vacationing King Douchuous the IV and Hottie Whose Name He Forgot After The Last Round of Mai Tais want to wish you all a happy Labor Day.

The King, and all his douchebag ilk, never worked a day in their lives. Too much time and money for the children of privilege define the douchebag class. Which reminds me that Labor Day is also an important function in fighting the douchebag plague. Entitled inheritors with attitude, who have no clue of the battles that came before.

Let us all take a moment and honor the working class, and all they represent to this world. For the workers of the world, who deserve respect and not the contempt that some of our leaders spit out, I offer a symbol of my gratitude:

Labor Pear

No labor needed.

# posted by douchebag1
7:31 am September, 3 Douchble Helix said...

LONG LIVE THE KING!

7:46 am September, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

I just “labored” for about 15 seconds whilst enjoying that pear.

7:58 am September, 3 Wheezer said...

Well written post, Boss!

8:10 am September, 3 Dickie Fingers said...

I had no idea the King could survive outdoors. Happy Labor Day, Hatters.

9:11 am September, 3 icame isaw idouched said...

They deserve each other.

9:13 am September, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I used to celebrate Labor Day when this wreck of a small town used to be industrialized before I moved back. Through recent studies of mine, focusing on the effects of Chinese investment on Canadian real estate, I have agreed with a common thought on labor’s flight from our good shores. If corrupt big labor unions did not ask for unreasonable demands from WW2 until their recent near-demise for unions self-interest, the big-bad corporations would not have been forced by their greedy shareholders to flee. A few small concessions would have forced governments to take a punitive line towards off-shoring or whatever you choose to call the flight of capital. It is societies fault that self-interests of labor begat self-interest of the owners of capital to ruin the industrial base of our nations. And in the end it was big labor that was a partial cause of it’s own rise and fall. The rest of the blame lays of cours on Mitt Romney and his evil minions of there New World Order.

.

I like buying things that said union made but today I’m drinking some non-union frosty Canadian Lager and reading the Economist for guidance.

.

Hoffas

9:22 am September, 3 Douchble Helix said...

As an economist, you’re a Hell of a partyer, Rev.

.

Not so strong on analysis.

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Robber Barons.

9:24 am September, 3 Sir Douche said...

@ Dickie Fingers, are you talking to people who work in hat shops?

9:47 am September, 3 Vin Douchal said...

The beauty of Labor Day/three day weekends is waking up still drunk and pouring a tomato beer for breakfast. Feed the dog that bit you? I’m giving him a pound of ground sirloin slathered in brown gravy on a silver platter. Woof

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There is no end in sight for copious pear sightings at the local outdoor mall…. drinks on the patio and swivel necks all around. Swivel necks I says

10:47 am September, 3 The Dude said...

A nod to Labor Day – I did the extra work of signing in before mentioning that I would work overtime on Labor Pear.

.

Said

12:58 pm September, 3 creature said...

woke up this morning on the garage floor of the all night poker party, still drunk with cash spilling out of my pockets….life is good!

…however, it would be better if I could wear labour pear as a hard hat!!!

2:26 pm September, 3 Capt. James T. Douche said...

A nod to all my fellow bag hunters enjoying their hangovers and Labor day, I unfortunately have had to labor all labor day weekend and have to abstain from allowing my check liver light to come on sadly, but I do get to go 3 knuckles deep into the company coffers for that juicy holiday pay, 3 knuckles deep I says!

2:55 pm September, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Thanks to Labor Pear I am laboring over my renoB. What could be a more fitting tribute to Labor Day than a picture of a douche and bleeth couple lounging by a fecal-bacteria infested lake?

3:06 pm September, 3 CB Popped said...

King Douchuous IV certainly has shelf-life.

That DB’s always – always has a hand sign.

Pud smoker.

Rev Chad nice.

4:13 pm September, 3 Guid is Good said...

Long may he reign over us. All hail The King.

4:29 pm September, 3 hermit said...

In a fetid house trailer outside of Omaha, a sweating, overweight teenage girl screams in agony. After an hour of painful convulsions she finally whelps a soggy, kicking bastard from her loins and deposits it on the shit-stained shag carpet. She lights up a Marlboro® before spewing a well-directed load of warm afterbirth into a plastic waste basket, then calmly opens a lukewarm Budwieser®.

.

That is what Labor Day means to me.

6:39 pm September, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I always knew Vin was cool. Now that I know he drinks tomato beer he is awesome. How else can ya get your veggies into ya? Son.

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Red State Hermit will not be watching the upcoming travesty in Carolina.

7:40 pm September, 3 Troy Tempest said...

The Rev repeated the classic bullshit line:

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” If corrupt big labor unions did not ask for unreasonable demands from WW2 until their recent near-demise for unions self-interest, the big-bad corporations would not have been forced by their greedy shareholders to flee.”

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No. Proof: Germany. Check. Mate.

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Companies left the USA not because of union demands, but because the government (owned by the companies) incentivised their leaving.

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The line you wrote is a meme created by the apologists for the ruling class in order to drive down wages. It is a lie.

9:17 pm September, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Different world views, Son. I was going to compose one of my various types of stupid rants about how we should all try to live in peace and harmony after watching Deep Impact on the Space Channels Epic Movie Labor Day and then I went outsaide to the beer fridge to grab a leftover tallboy of Bud Light (I’ll have the fucking shits in the morning bucko), put out the garbage and then smoked a mild blunt. Troy has me all harshed out now cause I think I made him mad. Well I’m not mad man. We all got our shit to defend. Ideas that conflict and different upbringings and college and experiences and shit and we should all realize that. Nobody ever got together to have a coke man. I think all of civility in American society in particular, and I include all of the Americas, was lost the moment that Karen Carpenter died of anorexia. Nobody knew about anorexia before that. After Karen Carpenter left we were all in a deep state of depression at which point the pharmaceutical companies all began aggressive research into third generation antidepressant.

The SSRI and Ritalin generation had begun. It has been long unknown that Jimmy Carter’s raid in Tehran was a red herring (some call them false flags) to divert national attention from the Democratic plot to poison the nations water supply with untested Prozac. This led to the Reagan Era and the Obama conspiracy. The original plan was for a young Obama to meet a young Clinton to use top-secret weapons grade penis transfer so Bill would gt lots of action while the Machine plotted the future. Beijing Olympics all part of a left-wing global conspiracy to get the US to lower it’s standard of living in the second term of The One. Oprah interviews the Kardashians and all turn to Zombies except the two sides that won’t work together. Peace and love, Son.

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And fuck you Karen Carpenter!

11:43 pm September, 3 Little Willie said...

The gentleman’s haircut is not flattering. He looks like an imbecile but then again he probably is. Blondie looks fuckable but why does she hang out with a silly looking retard when she could do so much better?

3:51 am September, 4 hermit said...

There is no argument against “weapons grade penis transfer.”

5:22 am September, 4 The Dude said...

At what point did sunglass designers decide on the pupa philosophy?

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Deciders

5:40 am September, 4 Charlie Smith said...

The king has got the Miami Vice colours figured out, but everything else is wrong. Tubbs would whup his ass for that stupid sculpted beard and Crockett wouldn’t be seen dead with such a pedestrian looking bimbo. And where they hell are they? That looks like some sort of New England coastline (the northern part) and cobble beaches and pastel clothing don’t go together.

6:02 am September, 4 Guid is Good said...

If only her sunglasses were bigger then we couldn’t see her or her chest protuberances.

7:06 am September, 4 Evilmoose said...

I for one thought the King was an urban legend. Perhaps he was a slightly photoshopped image of maggot ridden monkey poo. I reasoned “no one man can be that douchey…can he?”

But no, he is a real live breathing human being (notice I left out thinking) with a FB account to boot. Granted he had to pay the 12 year old upstairs from his basement apartment, but yes he is a real entity. You may want to check out the public internet display in more detail

https://www.facebook.com/freddyfigs

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