Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Herpster Jett Practices the Smushface on Elana

Herpster hat and z-neck chest reveal for societal micturation.

Elana’s soft, woven braids bepseak of hippie summer camps and pouty attitude, and yes, she only made out with the greasiest of patchouli-smelling Phishsterwanks when skipping class in the parking lot. But I forgive her. Because, at least she didn’t date a jockbag.

# posted by douchebag1
9:28 am September, 18 Jeet Kune Douche said...

FRIST!

Looks like Herpster Jett’s expression bespeaks a revulsion for pretty girls, and he would prefer to be swapping saliva with an out-and-out douchenozzle dude…..

Gently sexy Elena feels very, very safe around Jett, as he clearly represents on sexual threat to her – in fact, he might as well be one of the girlz…..

9:29 am September, 18 Jeet Kune Douche said...

^ correction: NO sexual threat. Someone run me over with a garbage truck for being this stupid so early in the day…..

9:39 am September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oh Man! This one is conflicting my renob. Now first I’ll tell y’all that I ain’t no paedophile. Second I’ll tell ya that Elena is exactly what my daughter’s 9 year-old friend ( and my next door neighbor) will look like in 7 or 8 years. She’s also home alone today so I’ma stay off the big Cialis pills today and get drunk so I don’t have any unnatural natural urges.

.

Perverts

9:46 am September, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of parking lots….

.

.

This Herpster scourge was inevitable.

.

The 30 year pop culture re-cycle has started again and the 60’s-70’s garish display of pseudo wannabe hippies rages when it should give way to the ’80’s. However some of it sticks hard, hence, organic markets, horrible music fests, rastafarian caucasians and designer tea flavors while surrounding us with the stinky aroma of clove cigarettes, filthy flowing clothes and armpit B.O. that would embarass an Armenian

.

.

Next up , Jersey-ites becoming Tony Manero loving polyester-clad wanks learning the dance moves of their granpapas brought forward with vintage BeeGee’s vinyls/clothes found at yard sales and Salvation Army outlets with night clubs mixing in 22 minute disco numbers that only a Jack Russell on meth could endure.

.

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MTV then eats up the Jersey Disco Scene with unbearable reality TV characters for yet another 120 hours of weekly programing that is not music videos

.

.

Here, you can have this soapbox back now

10:22 am September, 18 The Casual Teabagger said...

Mmmmmm….jockbags.

10:29 am September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That is what my 9 year old neighbor will look like in 7 years. No Pedo. It puts the Cialis back in it’s bottle. Son.

10:29 am September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Test.

10:31 am September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She looks like my young neighbor friend will look in 6 years. No Renob. Son.

10:41 am September, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Chest hair reveal is the new GSR.

10:46 am September, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

His deep v-neck speaks of all male pillow fights, slow and passionate scrotum massages, and jubilant manscaping parties.

.

I’d rock Elana’s crunchy granola world.

10:53 am September, 18 Charles Smythe-Smythe-Smythe said...

Driving to work today through farm country I spotted one of the older migrant workers (from Jamaica) sporting once of those huge knitted hats. It was The Real Thing, of course, unlike Herpster Jett’s.

.

Elena looks pretty much perfect. Which means, of course, that she has some major deal-killing flaw like a squeaky voice or incredible stupidity or bad choice in men…

1:24 pm September, 18 The Casual Teabagger said...

Mmmmm…jockbags.

1:53 pm September, 18 Douchble Helix said...

Elena. Elena. Elena…

1:54 pm September, 18 Douchble Helix said...

Elana. Elana.Elana…

2:07 pm September, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His face screams he just found out he ain’t down with fish tacos.

2:18 pm September, 18 DarkSock said...

The inside of that knit beanie smells like the inside of a wooden leg filled with rotting puppies.

10:30 pm September, 18 Stephanie said...

Listen the Dead aren’t touring anymore,so quit your crying.

10:30 pm September, 18 Stephanie said...

Hackey sad sack.

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