Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Nikki and Kelly Learn the Truth about Crotchvine

Crotchvine smells like coconut oil.

Crotchvine has never been a big fan of Celine Dion.

Crotchvine does not like licorice.

Crotchvine occasionally practices trumpet. But only alone.

Crotchvine once wrote a book about wildebeests.

# posted by douchebag1
12:41 pm September, 11 Douche Springsteen said...

Crotchvine always pisses on the shoes of the man directly to the left of him at the trough in the men’s room at the football game.

re: Red Bikini – last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

12:43 pm September, 11 Douche Springsteen said...

Crotchvine plays his 20 Minute Ab workout on fast forward on the DVR, so it only takes 10 minutes and he gets a really good workout.

12:46 pm September, 11 The Dude said...

If this pic were cropped so you don’t see Crotchvine, I’d suggest a notta, but seeing Crotchvine has ruined my appetite.

.

Crotchvine gets double boob-press.

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Crotchvine can’t be un-seen.

12:54 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine lets his Jack Russell lick his anus

12:58 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine hides a cherry pit in his foreskin for laughs

1:06 pm September, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Crotchvine and these bleeths ruined Seth Rosencrantz’s Bar Mitsveh / Pool Party.

1:11 pm September, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Crotchvine invented a drink made from Axe bodyspray, Sambuca, and Patron.

1:12 pm September, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Crotchvine lactates melon liquor.

1:14 pm September, 11 FredN. said...

Sideboob only slightly redeems this pic.

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Slightly.

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Crotchvine enjoys a menage a trois at his buddy Rick’s apartment complex pool in Tallahassee.

1:15 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine is friends with “The Talk” on Facebook

1:20 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine once passed a Titleist Velocity he’d swallowed on a dare

.

.

Fore!

1:23 pm September, 11 Douche Springsteen said...

^ through his urethra.

1:24 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of golf, how ’bout that Meghan Hardin?

.

1:29 pm September, 11 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Crotchvine’s nipples are .22 entry wounds.

1:30 pm September, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Crotchvine blew his load in his short shortly after this pic was taken.

1:31 pm September, 11 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Crotchvine would wear shirts but his nipples are so small they slice through the material every time.

1:32 pm September, 11 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Crotchvine’s nipples think his testicles are watermelons.

1:33 pm September, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Crotchvine contracted herpes simplex 1 on his nipples shortly after this picture was taken.

1:35 pm September, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Crotchvine realized that his wallet and watch were missing shortly after this picture was taken.

1:38 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvine has an eight pack. His mother has AIDS.

1:39 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvine is the only white man who can translate from Jesse Jackson to Hebrew.

1:40 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvine wrote a letter to Sarah Palin, with his sperm.

1:40 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvine likey girls who say, “I love you long time Joe.”

1:41 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine’s blood type is narcissist

1:42 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine is holding the diving board out with his sphincter muscles

1:59 pm September, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

Later crotchvine will lick lemon juice off red bikini’s incision scar.

2:06 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine peed in the pool behind him not once but twice.

2:07 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine smells of shame & Bud Light Lime.

2:20 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine once wrote a song around a Z#major 17th chord in the key of mayonaise

2:23 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine likes to give himself Dutch ovens.

2:26 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvines favorite color is potoato.

2:30 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine whacks off into random URC’s at parties then quietly places them back in the stack for unsuspecting party go-ers to pick up and use.

2:33 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Are we sure it’s not Crotchvein???

2:34 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine likes rodeos

2:35 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine is a strong proponent of a good meme.

2:39 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine is the warm up act before a donkey show.

2:39 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine enjoys quiet evenings by the fireplace reading comic books.

2:41 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine gets befuddled some times.

2:42 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine is kicking ass in Fantasy Football league, Canadian Fantasy Football that is.

2:43 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine was huge fan of Zima.

2:46 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine spent his summers working on a dairy farm.

2:50 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

“Crotchvine peed in the pool behind him not once but twice…” this was only after eating a bushel of asparagus

2:56 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvine likes to wear a “Dutch Hat”

..

.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dutch%20hat

2:57 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvine works out to videos of Zyzz dying.

3:18 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine enjoys sex while wearing wooden clogs.

3:26 pm September, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Crotchvine performs Eminem on Karaoke Night under the name “Pubix”

3:47 pm September, 11 The Dude said...

Meghan Hardin gives me a stiff shaft. I’m thinking two balls out gets me in the hole.

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~Dutch Hat~ begs the question, wtf?

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Double Dutch

4:05 pm September, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine is a Motivational Speaker commanding $50-$75 per speech.

4:21 pm September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine suffers from petit mal seizures.

5:18 pm September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crotchvain makes me wonder why it’s 9:00 pm EST and I haven’t had a drink all day. Fuck that I’m getting drunk and stoned over the next two hours.

6:22 pm September, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Meghan Hardin, Megot Hardon!

6:24 pm September, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Crotchvine has stumbled up the game Filipino whores love to play; Lick The Nipple!

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Which Dutch Hat, the one you piss on or the other one?

6:50 pm September, 11 Stephanie said...

Crotchvine rubs peanut butter on his peen and lets the dog lick that too.

5:01 am September, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine’s Irritable Bowel Syndrome occasionally reeks havoc with his social life.

5:14 am September, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crotchvine enjoys Skittles®

5:39 am September, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine has webbed toes

5:42 am September, 12 Charles Douchewin said...

Wildebeest migrate just to be closer to Crotchvine.

5:43 am September, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine breastfed…until he was 23.

5:49 am September, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Crotchvine once whittled an ocarina out of wood and gave it to a retarded boy.

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