Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Ninety-Nine Problems and that Hat Definitely is One

I was supposed to go to that party but my raccoon had hepatitis.

# posted by douchebag1
7:16 am September, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Roaring 20s, Douchebag Style.

7:18 am September, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Queen Elizabeth called. She wants her hat back.

7:23 am September, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

“Speakeasy” is now code for “My mom’s new husband’s basement”.

7:33 am September, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She’s hott. If she doesn’t wax, she has Davy Crockett’s hat in her pants.

7:36 am September, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Nice fashion sense with that straw hat from Dollar General.

7:47 am September, 5 DarkSock said...

It is legal to kill Hipsters with a claw hammer…right?

7:48 am September, 5 DarkSock said...

This is why these Tealiban freaks must never be allowed to hold high office
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So…if you stayed at a Marriott over the last 10 years you probably enjoyed a couple of airplane bottles of Jack and an over-priced diet coke out of the little room fridge, then got horny and rented “Trailer Park Sluts, Vol. 8” and charged it to your company. So, in essence, Marriott is in the porn business and profits handsomely from it ($12 a movie? c’mon…).
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Well, Mitt Romney, who is now running on a platform of abolishing the right of adults to watch movies of other consenting adults bumping uglies, sat during that period of time on the Board of Directors for the Marriott chain.
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The right to watch poorly scripted porn is guaranteed in the Constitution. I can’t recall the exact wording, but the founding fathers put it in there. It was back during the Betamax days; the principles are still sound though.
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Horn-Dog Hypocrites.

7:58 am September, 5 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Looks like the type of hat you’d win at the county fair when the guy can’t guess your weight.

8:14 am September, 5 Douche Wayne said...

Running out of genres to co-opt, the douches try their hand at barbershop.

Sweet Ass-eline

8:26 am September, 5 Douche Wayne said...

@ Darksock

You are correct, I direct you and our readers to the little-known 69th Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting the production values of pornography, or prohibiting the unfettered viewing thereof regardless of plot content or video quality, or abridging the freedom of listick lesbians, or of solo girls, or the right of the people peaceably to lubricate, and to petition random chicks on webcams for a redress of grievances and blue balls after striking out in bars.

8:57 am September, 5 DarkSock said...

^However I do support the proposed constitutional amendment barring Ron Jeremy from anything, ever.

8:57 am September, 5 The Dude said...

I like the hat. He’s just a douchebag. She’s hott

9:29 am September, 5 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Lighten up bros!

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Manuel Hildago Ramirez Martinez simply thought he was going to a “Chariots of Fire” costume party.

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Aren’t they all the rage in ragin’ SoCal?

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Or does Vegas have a monopoly on these things?

9:32 am September, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

What DSock & Douche Wayne said.

10:15 am September, 5 Charlie Smith said...

You can tell he’s a class act because he has a pocket square in the breast pocket of his leather jacket. I am a bit disturbed that I noticed that before anything, but I think my middle aged brain is beginning to edit out the existence of super-hotts as being too far beyond (below?) my league. I do like her Rhona Mitra-esque lantern jaw.

11:01 am September, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

She’s got a wholesome ’70’s look to her. Either that, or I’m easily fooled by Instagram filters. Hopefully her bush is not from the ’70’s, because ’70’s bush is something I cannot abide. Cannot abide, I says.

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Professor Snake Oil here is part pimp, part magician, and part Andy Griffith.

4:03 pm September, 5 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Damb if that chick ain’t simply GORGEOUS.

That hat needs to explode in flames.

4:53 pm September, 5 Guid is Good said...

The Venezuelan remake of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly had experienced difficulty with the local costume department.

7:31 pm September, 5 Stephanie said...

Rip the hat off and punch a hole through it. This douche bag has no friends,I’ll bet.

8:18 pm September, 5 Italodouche said...

80’s one hit wonder Taco(Putting On The Ritz) & Erik Estrada sit & ponder how their bastard son scores such primo punani.

8:03 am September, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

For a guy who won an EBay auction for Julie Andrews’ hat from The Sound of Music, he sure doesn’t look happy.

7:13 am September, 7 jt said...

This doosh was the ‘DJ’ at the DNC.

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