Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Reader Mail: The Choad African

Scumbum writes in all the way from South Africa to remind us of the lingering toxicity of the global Grieco Virus in presence of hot chick:

———-

Sometimes, in this world of religious hatred, human suffering and racial tension we forget.. We forget that all over the world, we are united by the douche. Who would have thought that in South Africa you would be able to book a safari and spot an all too common species. Ladies and gentlemen of the world, please enjoy

———-

I ain’t gonna play douche city.

# posted by douchebag1
2:45 pm September, 19 Vin Douchal said...

A douchebag with tatts most informal

Would otherwise look kinda normal

But choad route he went

His canvas is spent

He checks in from somewhere near Transvaal

2:46 pm September, 19 Vin Douchal said...

I says Transvaal, bitches

2:49 pm September, 19 Vin Douchal said...

A hot chick who may not yet be legal

Thinks this dork reminds her of her beagle

Let’s him poop in the yard

From the kitchen he’s barred

And no touching when she’s all spread eagle

4:10 pm September, 19 The Dude said...

There once was a dumb tattooed ‘tard

Wandering by a young lass’s yard

He was taking a dump

It made her heart jump

Now she has poo and life’s hard

4:13 pm September, 19 The Dude said...

A dumbfuck went out for a stroll

And met a beautiful troll, says

“Do these stripes make me fat?”

“Don’t ever think that!

A douchebag makes me feel whole!”

4:20 pm September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Afrikaner Vanilla Lice likes just a hint of brown sugar. I’d say he needs a trash can to his expanded earlobes… But Rev. Chad is probably on a plane over there already.

4:26 pm September, 19 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Having a douchebag on safari guarantees your safety – all the lions, hyenas, black mambas, cobras, crocodiles, leopards, elephants, rhinos and water buffalo within 100 miles will retreat from such obvious toxicity.

However, it does spoil the very purpose of the safari, as you’ll be stuck looking out over a completely empty veldt………….

4:59 pm September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It get it. Douche City!

.

4:59 pm September, 19 hermit said...

I would greedily nibble the delicate hairs sprouting from Hëlgä’s baboon lips, then mount her like a rutting, pre-migratory wildebeest.

4:59 pm September, 19 The Casual Teabagger said...

Anytime your beverage is attached to your neck by a lanyard is a good time….to rethink your inability to maintain a grip on reality and your beverage. This guy’s fivehead is begging for a rhino blast.

5:26 pm September, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I think we’ve got a pretty strong contender for Most Trashcan Worthy to The Head here, if not then one of those industrial sized dumpsters they drop off when you renovate a house!

I would make her hum the opening credits to The Original Series on my meat phaser!

5:47 pm September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Capt. James T,

Set that meat phaser for stun.

6:59 pm September, 19 Mr. Biggs said...

This is so amazingly perfect. It’s so balanced, so matter-of-fact yet so apocalyptic, it’s a veritable American Gothic of HCwDB. Pure vintage.

8:08 pm September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d like to bang that lightest of the Mulattoses tenderly and with a sculptors aplomb.

11:20 pm September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

At the foot of Reverend Chad Kroeger was first laid the hippie adulteress. At the foot of the Mulatess was laid his tooth floss?

11:22 pm September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This years crop is so good we’ll be smoking for years! If I could only ship south to my retarded internet friends.

12:17 am September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Does anybody remember laughter?

.

It makes me wander.

.

Fuck I’m stoned and not sleeping. It’s all golden though,

that thistle hanging off my Brownstar Invader was just herpes so I files it off with a bodyfiller rasp.

.

Stoned. The black chick I think is beside me with a scanty set of lingerie just walked away for the minute. Fucking Douchebags.

.

Too stoned.

.

Stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooned!

12:18 am September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBk-iRihSUg&feature=related

3:57 am September, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Stoned? Never would have guessed.

.

Party Hearty, Rev!!!

.

Put that shwag on the Swazey Train to the South 48.

4:28 am September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

If I’m not mistaken he is of the sub species Choadus Africanus.

4:35 am September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

You’ve probably passed back out but I was hoping that one day when I make it back to Canadia that you would do me the honor of acting as my cultural ambassador/tour guide. I ask this cause I’ll need to know where the REALLY good strip bars are at and where the easiest women can be had.

.

Yours truly ETD?

P.S. If Lenny The Box could make it that would be awesome and I don’t even know who he is.

5:08 am September, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Fuck South Africa, by the way.

.

And she’s 14, but is eminently schtuppable.

5:26 am September, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’d blow her Vuvuzela

8:22 am September, 20 UFO Destroyers said...

The spawn of Max Headroom and Ryan Reynolds has finally come from his burrow.

.

Make that the gay spawn. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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