Thursday, October 25, 2012

CECI N’EST PAS DARKSOCK

You ungrateful bastards.

I give and I give and I give and what do thanks do I get?

“Where’s the gratuitous pear? We want some peh-errrr. Mleh meh meh-ehhhhhhhh.”

Oh, I’ll give you your pear.

Oh yes.

But you know all those stories where you make a deal with a devil, and you ask for immortal life but then a piano falls off a roof and crushes your spine to powder? Or you ask for a billion dollars, but he puts it on the moon? Or you ask for Scarlett Johansson to fall madly in love with you, but then a poodle eats your dick?

Well… here’s your pear.

Or maybe it’s here.

Or here

Naw, I’m just messing with you. It’s here.

I mean here.

Seriously, though. Here.

Here.

…… Here.

There. Are we full now?

I’m glad we had this talk.

# posted by Steve L.
10:20 am October, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I wanna know…

.

.

What does she keep in that pocket?

10:30 am October, 25 Vin Douchal said...

I’ve never raced for the red “X” so fast in my entire dicking-with-my-computer career

10:46 am October, 25 UFO Destroyers said...

I hate the internet now. Thanks, Baron. I’m sure the “real” pear is a dude or something.

10:48 am October, 25 UFO Destroyers said...

While you were at it, why didn’t you put Plinky’s mom in a “pear” link. My skin has crawled enough today, so I guess it’s time to get to work. Right after lunch though.

10:57 am October, 25 Douchble Helix said...

Too funny!

11:33 am October, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Doing a great job Baron!. I remember the roller derby foursome from Monday. Ingrates.

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Sorry for the Jew folk music last night. I was on the pain meds.

11:42 am October, 25 Charles Douchewin said...

@ Dude McCrudeshoes

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Her pocket holds zebra-headband guy’s dignity.

.

I’m thankful the Baron didn’t showcase Rule 34 (although the “slutty costume of the day” comes close).

11:51 am October, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Um, when was it that DB1 is coming back again ?

12:05 pm October, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Baron, that’s just rude.

.

Now, if she’d just fart.

12:06 pm October, 25 Adam said...

not cool man

12:11 pm October, 25 Johnny Applesack said...

I was a HUGE fan after the “Bestie Phalanx” bit.

Now, you are relegated to COMPLETE DICK status.

Thanks butt-plug.

12:16 pm October, 25 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Johnny Applesack.

.

I’m not a “dick.” I’m EVIL. There’s a difference.

12:36 pm October, 25 retard said...

Where’s my Eye Bleach?

12:41 pm October, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I appreciate the The Gool’s high brow humor as I am of the opinion that you can only cop your joint to one pear photo at a time. And by that I mean FenceBootyShortsHeels Pear made my fingers sticky.

12:52 pm October, 25 hermit said...

I thought the hyena eating out the elephant’s ass was pretty cool.

1:07 pm October, 25 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Baron, you’ve ruined everything that was wrong about my vision of the pooniverse. Thanks!

1:11 pm October, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Charles Douchewin,

Maybe it’s rule #63: for any male character there exists a sexy female counterpart. No exceptions. As soon as you attempt to prove there is an exception, someone will make one and prove you wrong.

http://www.pajiba.com/assets_c/2012/01/pajibastartrekwarssexyvader-thumb-550×401-36855.jpg

1:17 pm October, 25 Charles Douchewin said...

@ Dude McCrudeshoes,

.

Oh.

.

Now, the rule #63 sexy female Baron Von Goolo becomes the most disturbing thing on this thread.

1:25 pm October, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et Tu

.

I got $20 that Romney wins after I get Halloween blasted and send DB1 a picture of this years hipsterbag costume.

.

And $20 on the Giants if they play this weekend. Also, anybody ever buy a MacBook?

1:33 pm October, 25 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

BVG: this reminds me of the great times on this site when I was a young man. Like 2008, except I wasn’t young either. Well done!

2:09 pm October, 25 creature said...

hyena/elephant pear oddly makes me think of Sarah Palin “shuckin’ & jivin”

2:33 pm October, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jeez, and I here I thought the Baron was gonna put up some gross shit like this or this or even this. I’m guess I’m glad he didn’t.

2:34 pm October, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The Barons brand of humor and insight is a queef of fresh air in the stagnant and constipated parlors of judgemental internet blogs.

2:38 pm October, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Young Brian can’t believe he made it the final of the International Queef Sucking Championships on his first try. The real test comes when he has to inhale and hold for 5 minutes the dreaded kimchi, hard chocolate, and Red Stripe doozy she’s got commin’ on any minute now.

2:43 pm October, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’ve always wondered has anyone ever tried to light a queef??? Now might be a good time to try it, i’m sure his eyebrows and first two layers of skin will grow back.

2:47 pm October, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

I’ll take both bets, Giants @ Dallas with Dallas getting +1.5 as for MacBooks I’ve owned several and I’ll be getting another one after this one.

.

I like what BVG is bringing this week it’s getting me in the spirit of All Hallows’ Eve as for FenceBootyShortsHeels Pear I’d like to trick her treat.

3:09 pm October, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ CAPT. JTD

.

Hope you lighter can hold out for a while:

.

3:18 pm October, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

@ Doc B. Just gonna have to get a welders mask and gloves.

3:46 pm October, 25 Crucial Head said...

BVG channeling the venerable, late, BCS with a stellar post. I masturbated to all the pics. Twice. Except that one with the hot chick in jorts leaning on the fence.

.

Blech!

6:30 pm October, 25 Mr. Biggs said...

You fool. You gave me my daily supply of pear in the main pic already. Those rainbow short shorts are the closest a guy like me can get to believing unicorns are real.

10:25 pm October, 25 Little Willie said...

The man likes dark meat. Finger lickin’ good.

2:01 am October, 26 Stephanie said...

Isn’t the web wonderful for photos? Where else can you find such cheap entertainment?

5:11 am October, 26 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Now THAT’S some evil linking I can appreciate.

.

Though I was hoping for more pics of hotties I could whack off to.

5:14 am October, 26 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Aren’t you glad the second link didn’t work?

5:16 am October, 26 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I sure am.

6:56 am October, 26 Douche Wayne said...

Excellent crowd control.

4:32 pm October, 26 Douchble Helix said...

Second time through to get the later comments, and I’m LOL-ing a second time.

9:48 pm October, 29 DarkSock said...

I clicked ’em all. FenceBootyShortsHeels Pear was worth it.

.

I regret NOTHING

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