Friday, October 26, 2012

FRIGHTDAY THOUGHTS AND LINKS

Look at those two kinda regular looking guys. And all those hot chicks. Man, there sure is something douchey going on here. Ha Ha!

Aaaaaaand I’m spent.

But soon, dozens of young ladies in their slutty costumes will be parading their lady business about my magnificent FrightTown. I must rally. For the good of the children.

BVG DVD Pick O’ The Week: Oh hidy ho officer, we’ve had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.

Who’m I kidding? I can’t pick just one.

In general I am not a fan of horror movie remakes, what with Michael Bay being the Great Satan and all. There are, however, exceptions to every rule.

This will either be the worst movie I’ve ever seen or the greatest movie I will ever see. Either way, I bet I eat a bullet when the credits roll.

Ahmunna start my Christmas shopping today.

We’ve talked a bit about slutty costumes going too far, but that is not to imply that I am against sluttery in general. Au contraire. It can certainly be done right.

Perhaps even with a dash of the ol’ ultra-slutty.

Another thing about slutty costumes: they mostly come at night. Mostly.

But remember, ladies: when you’re preparing your slutty black cat costume, improper tail placement can send the wrong message. Unless you’re wearing it for a room of visiting German businessmen. Then you’re probably fine.

Werewolves howl,

And vampire bats flap.

This poem blows.

Get ready to fap.

And as long as we’re on the subject, you poor readers have put up with a fair share of abuse and an unfair share of my self-absorbed rambling this week. You deserve a reward.

Nerdy Pear.

Bah! That couldn’t possibly sate you. Open wide, now

Cool Hand Luke Pear

Buff Thigh Pear

Waiting For Norman Pear

Scottish Candelabra Pear

and lest we lose sight of the season, Jack O’ Pear.

(*sigh*) I guess I’m just a romantic when you get right down to it.

# posted by Steve L.
12:50 pm October, 26 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Fantastic Finish to a Glorious week, BVG !! Thanks for the memories, and the extra servings of pear!!

1:02 pm October, 26 Wheezer said...

…..you poor readers have put up with a fair share of abuse and an unfair share of my self-absorbed rambling this week…..

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No way! It’s all high quality writing – we look forward to your next guest host appearance, Baron!

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Regarding the main pic…..it reminds me of something that will possibly become a meme. It pictures a young brunette Italian hott and some old flabby ass Italian chump (yes, they’ve been on here before). When your daughter complains about not wanting to study, then you’re supposed to show her that photo and say, “This is why you should study.” Of course, the same holds true for your son…..

1:04 pm October, 26 Wheezer said...

Oh, and the FTAL lineup of pear is utterly exquisite! (Well, not that final one, natch.)

1:04 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Great week Baron. I love asian quintets. But I could have used some German Goo Girl bukkake thrown in.

1:05 pm October, 26 Baron Von Goolo said...

I said I was spent. I never said I was done.

1:09 pm October, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

*slow clap that turns into thunderous applause*

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Out-fuccen-standing week. All hail the Baron!

1:22 pm October, 26 Wheezer said...

Oh, we know more is coming: Comment of the Week™ and the regular Sunday video barf/douchebagfest await, though I imagine that video is going to have a different kind of spooky slant.

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But I’m going out of town and will be offline much of the weekend, so I probably won’t see it ’til Sunday night or Monday. So kudos to a great week (and weekend) of mock!

1:23 pm October, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I fapped a lot to the Korean school girls… then I got to Cool Hand Luke pear and despite my ardor, I had nothing left to give. It was like painful dry heaves of fapping.

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First world problems…

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Nice job this week BvG, during what must be (might be?) a busy time of year for you. Scare the skirts off some Korean school girls tonight for me.

1:45 pm October, 26 Douchble Helix said...

Baron, you rock!

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I’m reminded of a true story about Freddie Prinze on Chico And The Man. When they were shooting the pilot, Freddie was simply “too good”. There was nothing the actors playing off of him could do, he was just “too good”.

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Hat’s off to you, Baron!

1:57 pm October, 26 Douche Wayne said...

BVG’s deft hand on the wheel this week has delivered us safely to our Port O’ Pear.

Three Hour Tour

2:10 pm October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Baron is hilarious. Awesome finish.

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Like a MILF Julia Ann money shot – facial-swallow-continue to blow until dude is twitching like he’s been tazed, bro

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Like Conor MacLeod’s head chop victory over of The Kurgan

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Like Carl Edwards getting flipped like a dish rag on a clothes line by Brad Keslowski in the final strecth, then steppping out of his flaming wreck and hoofin’ it to the finish line

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The Baron gave this place a well needed MacGuyver Tornado Punch to coccks. We gotta step it up now

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Quiche eaters

2:20 pm October, 26 Jeet Kune Douche said...

With the exception of the last one, the pear selection was………GODLIKE.

Your place in Valhalla is reserved for you, oh mighty Baron. I bow to thee.

Regarding the top pic – the fat slob douche on the right clearly has a very serious injury to his right leg. Look how skinny it is inside that brace. I feel sorry for the guy. But if he had even an ounce of brain, he would realize that Asgard was sending him a message, and that he’d better get rid of those ugly ass tats across his uppoer chest, and pronto.

2:25 pm October, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

not to be repetitious, but fine job indeed BVG.

3:13 pm October, 26 jonezy said...

thought that link said Moistly.

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Drippers.

3:55 pm October, 26 creature said...

well done gooloo…way to represent the evil, wicked & twisted side of baghuntery!!!

mostly at night slutty costume pear, is that an outrageous tranny tuck?

& korean hookers really rev me up! gonna hafta have a socal fri afternoon surf to cool my jets

.

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once again, thank you baron!

4:03 pm October, 26 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Thanks for a fun week of McMockery!

4:37 pm October, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

I want to say awesome work BVG, but I feel “awesome” has been co opted for bro/douche speak. So I’ll say job well done my man. It was a pleasure and quite a few chuckles were had. The Pear was a great way to end the week.

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Play safely kids this Halloween weekend and fucck Hurricane Sandy although she is expected to reek havoc on the Full Hunter’s Moon this Monday. I might eat mushrooms that night.

4:43 pm October, 26 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

OH! And ‘Waiting for Norman Pear’ was exquisite in its subtlety!!

5:19 pm October, 26 FredN. said...

Big ups to the Baron. Well, well done.

5:42 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If one looks again closely at Cool Hand Look Pear, you may notice an obvious left-sided labia, piss flap for the youngins, hanging ever so gently like a summer eve.

6:49 pm October, 26 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Holy crap, the Rev is right. Where’s my goddamn zoom tool!

9:56 pm October, 26 Stephanie said...

Those airbrushed asses will never go out of style,will they.

7:20 am October, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

Good call Rev,

Mmmmm…… obvious left-sided labia hanging ever so gently like a summer eve.

10:12 pm October, 29 DarkSock said...

Exquisitely done, Sir.

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