Wednesday, October 24, 2012

IT'S ALIVE!!!!…PROBABLY

Watch this.

Then look at this spindly bleeth’s bolt-ons.

Repeat until one of them starts looking lifelike by comparison.

This could take a while.

# posted by Steve L.
8:09 am October, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’m good with it. And by good with it, I mean I’d let her cop my joint thrice nightly.m

8:15 am October, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As a matter of fact the more I look at her, the more I can envision how our first 3 months would go. At first it would be nonstop skull and hard anal and then I am sure she’d be ready for the FMF threesome and associated Tomfoolery. As we moved into the fourth month the sound of her voice and needy, clinginess would start to have a withering effect on my renoB, but her willingness to do anything, and do it well, would bring back 100% turgidity, and the threesomes would keep it real for at least 6 months…that’s as far as I got…

8:43 am October, 24 DarkSock said...

The last thing her Dad tasted was the sour tinge of gun metal and a smoky hint of burnt gunpowder.

.

Then everything was alright again, for the first time in 22 years.

8:45 am October, 24 Charles Douchewin's future aspirations for anything said...

She can never star in the movie “Night of the Living Boobs”.

8:46 am October, 24 Charles Douchewin said...

^Oops, not logged in there…

8:47 am October, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I bet they feel, smell, and taste like vinyl pool toys. I’m not complaining. I love pool toys.

8:49 am October, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Wallnuts just described every relationship I have ever had. It’s like he’s singing “Killing Me Softly” while I sob into my drink.

8:50 am October, 24 Charles Douchewin said...

Also, to the Baron; I’ve been away, and just discovered you’re at the helm – nicely done thus far!

8:55 am October, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m going to move the step ladders well away from my helicopter pad this afternoon.

8:56 am October, 24 Douchble Helix said...

I wouldn’t throw her outta bed for eating crackers!

.

Fogies.

9:09 am October, 24 Sir Douche said...

Where is her right arm?

9:41 am October, 24 Douche Wayne said...

@ Dude They probably squeak as well.

At least WilmerValderrama’Bag looks happy to be there. And by “happy” I mean “If this chick doesn’t shut up about Gossip Girl I’m going to tear her OTHER arm off.”

9:54 am October, 24 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’d hit that. They still wouldn’t move, but it wouldn’t be from a lack of trying.

10:00 am October, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ BvG

.

I kept watching this over and over again and it made more sense than the pictured bleeth:

.

.

Seems they have a lot in common.

10:14 am October, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

While I’m a big fan on inner boob reveal, those do nothing for me.

10:16 am October, 24 creature said...

due to the constraints of a poorly chosen career arc, this is the first i’ve logged on all week & all I have to say is welldone & bravo BvG!!!

…that & I never tire of looking at big, tanned fake cans!

10:48 am October, 24 The Dude (remote loc) said...

I like her fake cans. Great job BvG!

10:56 am October, 24 ERIC said...

00000000MG. who is the G000000000000000RGEOUS Blonde? email me at erik teague at y mail dot com

11:29 am October, 24 Jeet Kune Douche said...

I thought “Vaginal Luftwaffe” was Rompeprop’s finest orchestral piece.

And I’d shtump that blondie with the bolt-on’s till my pecker turned to dust.

4:41 pm October, 24 Stephanie said...

Muscle neck is fake too. His heroes are puffed up angry red wrestlers from the WWF days with shrunken tiny penises. And she’s just a twatwaffle. New word.

7:50 pm October, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That broad looks like a migraine fuck. The pussy isn’t that great, but a damp hole is a damp hole, and the satisfaction of getting to brag about tagging that scrawny ass with much disrespect would make it that much more worth it. However…

.

Funbags there no doubt gets her ideas of what’s sexy from redtube and pornhub, like oh so many more of those pseudo-SoCo girls. They throw out fake scream/grunts with every thrust, a grimace of half pleasure, half discomfort from unaroused lack of lube as they force out “Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!” repeatedly in the same ascending pitch. The sound of their bad porn actress moans drives into your eardrums like old Asian lady in a Saturday Market on a closed street, taking out unsuspecting neurons and running over your more cherished memories of girls giving genuine moans of coital triumphs, spinning the tires on their faces until they’re ground down to a bloody gore and bone soaked sludge of “Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!” Like a cluster headache, once you get your dick wet you reach the point of no return, where the pain behind your eyes is so intense the only way out is a forceful injection of lidocaine and double-aught buckshot into the sinus cavities.

.

You pound harder and faster, slapping you dick muscle into her boney loins like an overtaxed steam engine piston, hoping to hurry up and be rid of the torture emanating from her vocal cords. But the fake grunts just get louder and faster in unison, and the pitch rises. Neighborhood dogs begin to howl. Nearby tenants put out “For Sale” signs. The old deaf bum who begs for Big Macs and Camo 99 down in front of the corner market vomits out his pancreas and promptly bleeds to death, his last experience in life being the first sound he hears: “Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!”

.

I’d still tag it.

9:15 pm October, 24 The Dude (remote loc) said...

What Jacques said, in that last sentence.

2:30 pm October, 25 Baron Von Goolo said...

I don’t think “twatwaffle” is a new word.

10:47 pm October, 25 Little Willie said...

I don’t mind the fake tits. Grease them up and give her some pearl necklaces.

9:51 pm October, 26 Stephanie said...

I think twatwaffle wasn’t used on this site…yet. But I’m sure,since you have nothing else to do,you’ll look it up and check on it. Then link it,since you got…nothing to do.

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