Thursday, October 11, 2012

Marty Crotchenrott ruins Amanda's Vegas Trip

Amanda’s Nana back in Urbana will not be pleased. Neither by the Facebook pics. Nor the pap smear results.

# posted by douchebag1
9:48 am October, 11 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Do women in such fantastic sexy shape truly exist?

Oh, and – FRIST!

9:50 am October, 11 Charles Smythe-Smythe-Smythe said...

I realize I’m the only person on this planet who thinks skateboard culture is stupid, but surely we can all agree that skate footwear is disastrous: oversized, over-designed, and over-used.

9:53 am October, 11 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Looks at the watermark in the lower left corner of the picture.

I hope this revolution is televised, and it involves Marty taking repeated punches to the face. Put it on pay per view and you could wipe out the national debt in an hour.

10:26 am October, 11 DarkSock said...

I want to drop acid and stare at that carpet.

10:33 am October, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Amanda’s thinking this is as good as it gets. She may be right. Three kids and yet another month with no child support payment will not be rewarded with gratification when the D.A. suspends Marty’s drivers license.

.

He’ll still be tooling along the 405 to his job manning the copier at Office Depot, hitting on the hot secretaries dropping off their work. The rejection piles high but Marty rises to the occassion in a tank top in front of his mirror each night, tatts out , fan blowing in his face as he mouths the words along to Maroon 5 seeing himself as a dude that just couldn’t catch the big break.

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No Marty, you caught the biggest break of all when delicious Amanda fell for your line of auditory diarreah and tough guy posturing accentuated by horrible, meaningless and unsightly tattoos. And you blew it. Chaulk it up to the times and lack of effort and substance. You suck. Hard

.

Good thing Mom doesn’t mind doing the laundry and paying your cell phone bill, eh?

10:52 am October, 11 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Amanda just caused a revolution in my pants….and it will not be televised.

.

.

.Asshat’s beatdown should be though, and personally supervised by the ghost of Gil Scott-Heron….in all its heroin-addled glory.

11:28 am October, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Vegas was built on broken dreams and bad decisions, but don’t gvie up hope another 20 years and medical science may find a full blown cure for herpes. Marty’s got ambition look at that faint glow in his spaced out eyes, he’s pushing the mop this week but next week its onto the fry vats, plus once his background check clears that part-time gig at the carwash is going to elevate him to the exalted status of thousandaire!

11:31 am October, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Amanda is a doe-eyed, knock-kneed Bambi getting Rev Chad in the mood to go hunting. And by hunting I mean kill the maroon hipster and shoot her with my Love Gun. Son. In the ass. Hard and poopie. Golden Showers ans shit. I’m too stoned to work. Time for beerskis.

11:42 am October, 11 Wheezer said...

Is it wishful thinking? Let’s see:

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Amanda is ‘bagtagging this assclown while simultaneously keeping her legs closed near him. He has strike two on his douchey ass before stepping foot in the batter’s box…..let alone hers.

12:23 pm October, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Amanda is pretty hot, too bad about the polio.

1:09 pm October, 11 Mayor McDouche said...

Listen here Marty, Amanda is not “in to you”. You are not all badass and gangsta. So take off that stupid hat and for goodness sake stop grabbing your peen all the time. Now get back outside the casino and start parking cars like you were hired to do!

1:42 pm October, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This is really a pic of Amanda celebrating the last of the triplets she managed to deposit in the toilet at The Palms belonging to Marty here. That’s unrestrained joy on her face at never having to be tied to this dickbucket again in any way, shape, or form. Now she can go back and finish up her degree in Microbiology at Williams and know that she won’t be living in some Veags trailer park while turning tricks next to the crib to support them. Now run Amanda, run!

1:53 pm October, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Marty Crotchenrott is Mitch Cumsteen’s cousin.

4:01 pm October, 11 Stephanie said...

Big Party,they just paid off their TV at Rent A Center.

4:31 pm October, 11 Guid is Good said...

Amanda, no need to worry about sudden spontaneous vaginal discharges on that carpet. Except Marty there.

4:48 pm October, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The photographer seems to be passing out in the midst of taking this pic.

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He’s probably overwhelmed by the stench of this guy’s fail.

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