Wednesday, October 10, 2012

True Love

(not pictured)

# posted by douchebag1
3:13 pm October, 10 DouchYouWannaDance said...

One thing is clear. This couple must reply on a mirror to take their photo because there’s no one else willing to get close enough to them for fear of whatever is screwing with their hair might be contagious.

Fukashima had some weird-ass effects. Some good, some bag… er, bad.

3:22 pm October, 10 Wheezer said...

I think it is pictured, but it’s just that each of them love themselves far too much to love anyone else.

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It’s too exhausting, bro.

3:28 pm October, 10 Ted Brogan said...

Umm, I think that’s that they refer to as a “ladyboy”

4:17 pm October, 10 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Arright, either these are circus escapees or they’re both strippers. As freakish as the chick is, I’d be happy as a clam to make happy her clam.

The fact that the guy has a decorative gold necklace and is wearing a pink T suggests that he strips at All Male Stud Leather clubs where The Village People are blaring on the speakers and for a C note he’ll narfle the garthock and ride the hershey highway for especially enamored patrons.

Don’t read the above twice or you’re sure to vomit.

4:21 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Oddly Unattractive Yet Shaply Possible Androgynies With Skeletor.com.

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Look for the link up there^ next to Lucky Punkass

4:29 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

From the “If’n You’re Thinking Of Rubbing One Out, Dept”:

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Maine Zumba Madam is actually Lexi Wright, minor league hardcore porn chick.

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Google/xhamster/cliphunter her but Absolutley NSFW nor if anyone is within flying Jizzload distance :

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Check her out, she’s hott

4:44 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Ed Harris sure can pull some tail. Son.

4:59 pm October, 10 Morbo said...

In defense of Johnnycakes — and this in no way excuses the many douche signifiers present here — his bimbo is off-balance. If he didn’t grab her around the waist like that, she’d tip over and be unable to get up. Sorta like a reverse turtle situation.

5:30 pm October, 10 Douchble Helix said...

They’re real.

6:38 pm October, 10 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Yeah, the cock and balls tuck

7:09 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One time I was really stoned back in the early 90’s. First time I went to the states on bithness, yo! Went without my wife and ran into a whole lot of charades and circumstances. And by circumstances I mean dirty blondes.

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So I’m alone in the middle of an industrial suburb/hotel strip in Islip, LI. I’m looking to find some action but I can barely find the hotel shuttle. Fuck me. I think I’m going to NYC and I end up in what was too few years ago a pastoral agricultural tract with fucking Husqvarna and Yamaha distribution centres all over the fucking place and first rate hotel in the middle of nowhere, man. I’m fucking depressed cause it’s Friday night and I have no meetings till Monday in the same piece of shit Suffolk County or whatever the fuck it was called.

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So I get fucking drunk in the bar with strangers and they tell me that there is a little steakhouse with gambling going on and shit with really good food. If they like the look of you thet let you in. So they ley me in and it’ full of the 90’s version of the douche. Most of them looked like characters you’ve seem in Eyetalian movies. The head bartenders daughter starts talking to me after I have ingratiated myself with the owner, an obvious mobster and lover of Canadians. Dude and his daughter take me for a tour and we have some Eyetalian liquors and such. He even waives my bills and asks me to bring some business back from the seminar I was attending. The again pieces of meet had me salivating. His daughter Gina with her hand slipping under my belt when father wasn’t looking has me hard and scared at the same time.

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What would happen to the mangecake that touched his daughter and beat the spread on a Sunday afternoon. I soon found out as I was invited to dine with the family for the Sunday feast in the reserved section of the establishment.

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I stood up to toast my newly found Eyetalian friend and his bosomly daughter when I shit myself and had to be excused. The rest of the week was quite productive.

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Paisans

9:43 pm October, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This guy is the freakin’ man! I mean the one with the massive bathyspheres and skunk hairdo. The other guy is just a douche.

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Think the ladyboy callout is cliche? Take a look at those hands, son. She could palm more than just basketballs with those mitts.

6:01 am October, 11 FoghornLeghorn said...

Cruella De Vil, Cruella De Vil

If she doesn’t scare you no evil thing will

To see her is to take a sudden chill

Cruella, Cruella

6:13 am October, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Islip, LI, NY is all douche all the time and makes Jersey look like the mid-west. Jerz getz a bad rep, yo. LI douchebags are the worst, plus you get a strong mob vibe there, to boot.

6:23 am October, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Great story, Rev!

6:43 am October, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think, “Narfle the Garthock,” is a Jethro Tull song. Either that, or a character from “The Lord of the Rings.”

7:27 am October, 11 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

This pic is to document that your mail order bride was deliverd by Tommy-now pay up and never mind that penis she has tapped to her thigh.

7:34 am October, 11 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Is this tart the same one in suburbia?

10:29 am October, 11 DarkSock said...

Why own when you can rent?

10:33 am October, 11 baffomet said...

What’s up with all these tyranny’s?

Might want to rename this site hTwdb.com

10:37 am October, 11 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’ll bet you a gazillion dollars that, even after “dating” for over two years, he could not pick her headshot out of a stack of photos that included Adolph Hitler, Mamie Eisenhower, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a Cabbage Patch doll, and that lady who got her face eaten off by her friend’s chimpanzee a couple years ago.

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He could, however, spot her lying naked on her back in a five-acre field of 3000 pumpkins.

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And if that isn’t love I don’t know what is.

1:14 pm October, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does anybody else remember that Squeezy Jibbs video where he talked about getting blown by some hot chick who he later found out to be a dude in some men’s room? I’m gettin’ a disturbing visual about that for some reason…

1:46 pm October, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He looks like he’s regretting his purchase.

3:59 pm October, 11 Stephanie said...

Who knew plastic love dolls could take photos of themselves?

3:41 am October, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Jeet

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Truly amazing. I literally used ‘narfle the garthock’ as a metaphor for waxing the carrot last weekend. I kid you not. The collective unconscious must be seeding dreamtime. And making it dirty.

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