Monday, October 15, 2012

Well Sheeeeiiitttt…

If voting’s this sparse for the Monthly, I’mma just post more pictures of Jesus Blinged Mongor hitting on party chicks Jessica and Brandy.

Oh wait, that’s what I do anyway.

Dammit. Hoisted by my own douchetard.

# posted by douchebag1
4:01 pm October, 15 DadBag said...

Thought the shirt said “Parasite” – it should have.

4:15 pm October, 15 Troy Tempest said...

The girl on the right is a sophomore at Herbert Hoover High School, and she’s in WAY over her head.

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The one on the left is her neighbour, who’s a freshman at Springfield Junior College, where she’s studying cosmetology.

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The piggie in the middle said “do up a poop, a poop poopsie doop!” and now a hot swirling river of poo is running down his leg. That;s why he’s not smiling. It’s collecting in his shoe, and he’s freaking out. The girls don’t notice because the cocaine sniffing has reamed out their olfactory sense.

4:20 pm October, 15 bigphatnotadouche said...

Girl on the left has nice cans, that’s stating obvious. Mongor is oblivious to it all.

Pawn of life.

4:24 pm October, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Looks like Emilio Estevez with Cushings syndrome.

4:32 pm October, 15 hermit said...

I’d let blondie whip my bare buttocks and tender scrotum with that twenty-four inch zip tie, if she’d allow me to sloppily garnish her sunburned breasts with pickle relish, then greedily lick it off like a wicked, retarded goblin at a pagan Sadie Hawkins Dance.

4:40 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

It’s not nice to make fun of the dull even if their mom puts out behind the VFW

4:41 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

It’s not nice to make fun of the dull even if he’s got an ID to buy booze for these underage chicks

4:43 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

It’s not nice to make fun of the dull and let’s hope the same radiation from living near the power plant that gives him the enlightened dullard hundred-yard-stare has also rendered him sterile and flaccid

4:46 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

It’s not nice to make fun of the dull even if they have the retard strength to place the new motor in the S-10 without a winch

4:48 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Say it, “Winch!” . It’s fun ! ” Winch ! ” Then go to Winch Depot and get yerself one. Never know when there’s gonna be no retard around to lift yer replacement motor into place

4:50 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

No offense to retards. Not a nice word, I know. But ….

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It’s not nice to make fun of the dull even if they got away with burning the woods down last fall

4:54 pm October, 15 creature said...

they’ll thick…which isn’t necessarily wrong, especially if you enjoy the reverberating gluteous cellulite tremors & the pendularic globe swaying as you whale away on blondie from behind like your clubbing a baby seal!

.

.

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…so i’ve heard

4:54 pm October, 15 creature said...

…ice fishermen

4:57 pm October, 15 creature said...

btw, Mongor has to be restrained from building sand castles outta his own poo

5:13 pm October, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Our first top is in Bogata

To check the Columbian fields.

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I likey those chicks in my time of shopping for December’s holy hooker carolling. And I am stoned Et Tu style. Sons.

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We have assumed control.

5:17 pm October, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of the one of best fuccen cover songs , like ever:

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Tedeschi Trucks Band – Darling Be Home Soon

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Never mind the great vocals, tasty trumpet solo and drumming excellence, hang in there for the last four minutes for a mind bending cobblestone road of Derek Trucks’ mastery of the slide.

7:42 pm October, 15 Italodouche said...

I visited the glass factory today. The plant manager wiped away a tear as he explained the story of how the Mongor’s cranium mould was formed. Mongor was indeed, one of their proudest accomplishments:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1316/4724947804_8682891e37.jpg

9:42 pm October, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

What’s up with Kevin Dillon, sulking in the background?

9:49 pm October, 15 Douchble Helix said...

That’s a mime back there.

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Why is there a mime back there?

12:06 am October, 16 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Was this ~One Word Monday~ ? Bleak

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Isn’t that the kid from Addams’ Family?

12:08 am October, 16 The Dude (remote loc) said...

“holy hooker caroling” ftw <- note the lack of caps. Hey, it's only Monday

1:38 am October, 16 Stephanie said...

Mongor never seems to be happy,or he’s off his meds.

5:51 am October, 16 Douchble Helix said...

Are we dealing with foreigners? Or has that already been established?

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Wait, we saw his web page. That was in English. Beats me.

8:01 am October, 16 Dickie Fingers said...

There is no flash photography allowed near the Mongor.

8:08 am October, 16 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I was going to leave blondie to Mongor’s tender mercies.

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Then I realized both hotts are giving me the Mayan Eye of Coitus. Today is a bad day to be over blondes. Maybe tomorrow? in the mean time ladies, make me a sammich!

9:54 am October, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin 4:50

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“No offense to retards. Not a nice word, I know. But ….’

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He’s not retarded, he just never bothered evolving fully. He stopped somewhere between the third and fourth ones.

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