Monday, November 5, 2012

Brothabag Johnson and Sexy Ashlanna

One of the reasons we feature so few brothabags on the site is because so much of douche culture involves suburban whiteboy appropriation of urban, black signifiers (hat tilts, b-boy chains, etc.)

Happy Brothabag Johnson is a great example. He’s havin’ a good time. Seems relaxed even in close presence with Sexy Ashlanna’s soft, supple heaving cleavite of peripatetic perspiration.

Still. We cannot forgive douchey facial hair, confusingly pointless gold chain, and undies poke. Stage-2 ‘bag status for B.J.

And Sexy Ashlanna for pooch suckle giggle tickle.

# posted by douchebag1
12:48 pm November, 5 Mr. Biggs said...

And tattoos. Let’s not forget the tattoos. If white-boy appropriation of black signifiers qualifies for douche, so does the converse. Especially since, you know, the blacks and the jews, not a good history with that stuff.

12:56 pm November, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When not in fat suit drag and playing every character in the movie, that fuckin’ Tyler Perry knows how to live it up and pull the hots! Eddie Murphy’s career weeps salty fuckin’ tears somewhere.

12:59 pm November, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What do Frankenfurter, Rick James, and Sammy Davis Jr. have in common?

.

They’re all confused as to why they’re on Brothabag Johnson’s chest.

1:04 pm November, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If Sammy Davis Jr. were alive today and saw his image inked on Brothabag Johnson’s pec, he’d pluck is his good eye out with Dean Martin’s pickled cokk.

1:05 pm November, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ima nut in this bitches hair then go eat some muthafuckin’ ribs!

Stereotypes

1:18 pm November, 5 crackcorn said...

“rapper” flo rida.

who, undoubtedly is a douche, but doesn’t he get some sort of rockstar pass?

1:26 pm November, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Um, no. He believe his own shit. Unlike say Slash who uses that ridiculous top hat as his “signature” when out and about.

1:36 pm November, 5 T.J. Douchemandazeh said...

Is this Brotherbag actually Flo-rida?

1:37 pm November, 5 UFO Destroyers said...

I thought the tatt partially obscured by the overtly large chain purchased by the foot at the Golden Rope kiosk in the Pasadena Foothills Mall was of Ambassador Shirley Temple.

2:13 pm November, 5 Vin Douchal said...

You have to give props to the geniuses that create Bud’s adds when they mashed Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling” with the Cult’s “She Sells Sanctuary” . Almost makes you want to drink their swill

.

Bud Commercial

2:16 pm November, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hey Boss, remember to take your meds next time, OK?

2:37 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Ahslana looks like she got her rhinoplasty at the local MAACO, and could use a referral to a top-notch dentist. And I can tell you this my friends, Sammy would not be happy, nor would his wife Altovese, to know some Titsune had tattooed his image on his body.

.

And it’s funny the Rev put those two together, as Sammy would rummage Shelly Winters on a regular basis. He liked all kinds of white broads. He even banged Shirley Booth when she was in her 60s.

2:40 pm November, 5 Vin Douchal said...

@ Rev

.

Paget Brewster has the sexiest, longest nose ever. It’s like Pinocchio fucked a woodpecker. Just think about that thing banging against your taint while “69” with her. It’d be a cumstorm. A cumstorm, I says

2:41 pm November, 5 Vin Douchal said...

A cumstorm I says

3:32 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Ashley has cock-eyed nipples. Cock-eyed nipples, I says.

3:50 pm November, 5 Stephanie said...

I don’t care who that is in the photo,you’re an idiot that looks like every other rapper,and therefore you are a forgettable who cares. I’ll bet he has a framed poster of Scarface in his castle. Duh.

Did anyone hear about Terry Bradshaw’s comment about “chasing that bucket of chicken” to the end zone?

Gee,can’t anyone take a joke anymore? Uptight Mofos.

4:05 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I, for one, was appalled by Bradshaw’s comments, as I thought the Titsune in question looked like he was chasing a Juicy Juice vendor or a watermelon truck.

6:54 pm November, 5 The Dude said...

I got nothin’ but tears, because this thread has run me over like a fuk’n waddymellin truck. But then that Gilligan, Gallager – some dude hit me with a sledgehammer and 400 people burst into laughter. Burst! Can you believe that?

5:31 am November, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Who else could come up with a “Shirley Booth” reference, and somehow it makes sense?

9:13 am November, 12 Douche De Leche said...

If Flo Rida is a douche, 50 cent is a douche. If 50 is a douche, Eminem probably is, and if he’s a douche, most main stream hip hop artists are douches, Kanye being the king of them. Hell add P Diddy too, he defines douche.

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