Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Might be time to put The King of Sears aka The Starry Blight in the Hall of Scrote. Just too much epic douchery over too many years.

And Hello Kitty Hott’s strange attractiveness has its own magnetic pull, despite her attempts to hide her white trash trailer park background like Clarice did in front of Hannibal Lechter.

Together, they make custard poo.

Your humb narrs enjoys post-rainy L.A. and dances in the falling leaves of his tree.

For the mail has come. More Netflixed 1970s -era Doctor Who.

It’s the little things in life.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Broadway Musical CD of the Week: “In this part of Africa, we ALL have a saying – whenever something bad happens,

we just throw our hands up to the sky and say HASA DIGA EEBOWAI!”

White People Mourning Mitt Romney. Schadenfreude, thy name is sad anglos.

Now that Romney has more free time on his hands, I’m hoping he can go back to retroactively baptizing my relatives who died in the Holocaust into the Mormon faith in secret creepy-ass bathtubs in Utah.

Think I made that last thing up? Ask Mormon Anne Frank.

Okay, that’s it on current events. Back to the mock.

Ever wonder what Peter Pumpin’Head and Mary Mammageddon would dress up as for Halloween? Now you know.

Ever get the feeling the DB1 is totally out of comedy ideas and is simply recycling characters over and over again? Well aren’t you the clever one. Have some Champagne Katie with fellow hotties.

Europeans love their Pear. I don’t know what that sign says, but I like to imagine it’s a protest against public loitering.

Nothing says mofo badass quite like The Young and the Restless logo.

As to my upcoming art show at the Guggenheim in 2023, I have a new piece I’ve been working on for awhile. I call it “Benzio Du Horse #37.”

How’s about some pear?

Election Day Pear

More? Okay. You’ve been good.

Relaxing Lake Pear

Relax with lake pear. For Friday has come again, as it does 1/7th of the time.

# posted by douchebag1
12:44 pm November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Well, you have a 40 years of re-runs to get through first, but Amy Pond can cure your Sarah Jane obsession in a femtosecond:

http://funbestfun.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Charity-and-Volunteer-Work-of-a-Fashion-Model-Karen-Gillan-1.jpg

12:52 pm November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Do all CK shots now have to be artfully blurry? I vote we come up with a new favorite party girl woo-hott anyway. And you know I luv me some CK, if that’s any indicator of how the blurryness and swole new breastesses are getting old.

1:02 pm November, 9 Wheezer said...

DarkSock is Benzio???????????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:07 pm November, 9 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

If I have the urge to have a 4-way with Champagne Katie and her two equally bleethy friends in a secret creepy-ass morman bathtub in Utah, is that wrong ? Probably. Forget I mentioned it.

1:14 pm November, 9 Dan said...

You’ll be mourning last Tuesday soon enough.

Asshole.

1:20 pm November, 9 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Dude McCrudshoes, thanks for the Amelia Pond photo. I was about to go back to skanky-ass blondes (see above). But there’s something about a souless ginger that keeps my black heart cold.

1:23 pm November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When I think bleeth I see these two and when I see these two I think bleeth. A perfect anti-dualism. And by perfect anti-dualism, I mean I just ejaculated all over my new penny loafers.

1:43 pm November, 9 The Dude said...

These two unnecessarily slutty bikini blondes create a delightful light buzz, as all the blood drains from my brain.

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Crotch zombies

1:45 pm November, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

If my ability to judge intelligence through pictures still works, I’d say Hello Kitty needs to be living on a farm somewhere in central Idaho with round the clock care, selling her finger paintings and beadwork to charity minded hippies. Whatever the King of Sears is up to, it probably involves the words ‘endangering’ and ‘mentally challenged.’

1:51 pm November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Not as funny since politics

Put in Db1’s monkeyhole

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Mormons in The Domincan doing proxy-Baptisms is the equivalent of Mexicans throwing their shit whiped toilet paper in the trash instead of down the toilet. If you don’t place a trash barrel next the toilet , they’ll just toss it in a corner. Nice, huh? It’s meaningless time wasting by meek minded follower-types.

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Apropos of nothing, Jack-In-The-Box has had two hot wives in his commercials. He used to call the first gal “Cricket” and they infer they had a foursome in a hot tub with another couple in one ad

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His second wife has no name but she’s a hot soccer mom looking gal with a vindictive streak

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Jack’s doing okay.

2:11 pm November, 9 Douchble Helix said...

I skipped the links, so far.

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It’s always a joyous day when Hello Kitty Bleeth makes an appearance! And I love the name “King Of Sears”, tattoo and all.

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That is all. For now.

2:21 pm November, 9 Douchble Helix said...

Vin D – “Cricket”, I get. The other milf, not so much.

2:30 pm November, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hey, who got a copy of my ballot? Guess that experiment worked out well didn’t it?

2:38 pm November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

BTW, Rosanne Barr was on the California ballot running for President.

2:51 pm November, 9 angelotseb said...

The sign say “the only gas that will be accepted in Ardene Town”

3:46 pm November, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Hey , any of you football types seen this chick. Nicole-Zaloumis on the NFL Network? More Here

4:16 pm November, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bulliet small batch rye on the rocks with a slice of Honey Crisp peeled apple and these two fuccen whores and I don’t think I’d complain too much. Which reminds me of a story……maybe I’ll post it later….

5:22 pm November, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ladies and Germs. I have got to bail out of here as DB1 has lost it. Jumped the shark as it were. It has been fun and giggles on my part but the political correctness has gone too far. Petraeus quit as the beginning of many cover ups which will demonize the Democrats . Obama was, is , and will be a fraud until he is shot by Ted Nugent. I will check in occasionally to bet with Et Tu and say I told you so. In my spare time I will work. get stoned, and study. Where’s Wedgie?

.

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Good Bye my friends. Live well and drink hard. Never hit a woman or your kids.

5:34 pm November, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

Say it aint so son.

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Anyway Stillers v Chiefs. Stillers giving 11.5, over under is 42 let me know how you would like to proceed.

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And if this is truly the end may your bud always be kind, your poutine extra cheesy, and hopefully that whore Tami will come to her senses and let you angrily throttle her from behind for old time sakes.

7:56 pm November, 9 The Dude said...

uhm, Rev Chad — what’s politically correct? Stating your opinion or not? Did I miss something?

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I personally think they’re both stooges. Whatever.

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Where is “I like turtles”? Because I do too

8:00 pm November, 9 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Sorry, I looked at the photo of Peter & Mary and “No”, I STILL don’t know what they dressed up as for Halloween.

12:35 am November, 10 Guid is Good said...

My high school French translates the sign as, “Salty Gaps are welcome in Ardeche.” And a big bonjour to that.

12:37 am November, 10 Guid is Good said...

Champagne Katie reminds me why I hate Instagram. And fake cans.

4:43 am November, 10 Douchble Helix said...

The Rev is drunk. Or stoned. Or Andy Kaufman.

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Say it isn’t so, Rev.

4:45 am November, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Hey, DoucheyWallnuts! What happens to a broad like Hello Kitty Hott (Bleeth?) after the sun sets?

5:37 am November, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Rev, Let me know where you wind up posting your rants. There’s no way you can keep all a that pent up inside of you, it would be bad for you. Plus I will miss reading your stuff. Maybe I’ll join you.

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@DH. Back in the day there wasn’t broads like this here Hello Kitty dame roaming the lounges at The Sands or hanging out at Toots Shore’s. This kinda chick was we called a Pro, today you’d call her a hooker. The big difference bein back then these broads didn’t look like sideshow freaks, and they were actually good in the sack.

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These broads are all show. Style over substance. Back in the late 50s Sinatra had this Pro he’d take everywhere with him, she even met his mother Dolly and she never knew she was on the job. Thought she was a legit bird. Legit bird, I says.

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This here Hello Kitty is what we woulda called a Scoonitz (pronounced “skoo-neats”). You might bang her, but you’d never been seen with her in public.

6:38 am November, 10 Champagne Katie's Rectal polyp said...

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/business/red_sox_big_bags_fund_Au329JKws5RN49uEH8Vz1N

3:16 pm November, 10 Anonymous said...

Dan, I obviously can’t speak for DB1, but let me just say that, personally, I worked through all stages of grief/mourning over the demise of an effective, fair, sensible political system roughly 22 years ago.

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The good old days never were. Sure, that’s true, but the tragedy is that humans will never even come close to their true potential because they are too busy competing with each other and being bloody fucking selfish.

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Human nature? Bullshit. It is as much human nature to cooperate as it is to compete. Look at the Huns, the Mongols, the North Vietnamese, and Isreal–you see the pinnacle of cooperation. If individual tribes can cooperate, it is completely possible for the entire human tribe to cooperate. It is not Obama and Romney that spell our doom–nor should we mourn either one. The real tragedy is that not enough of us believe that there is enough for everyone, and we were all brought into this world–we should have some minimum expectations for living in it that WE all share.

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It’s not yours. It’s not mine. It’s ours, and you can rest assured we will never stop fighting over it, so stop being so self-fucking righteous about how much better everything would be if Romney were elected. It’s all the fucking same, and next time your dumbfuck will win.

8:06 pm November, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Anonymous, at least make the effort to post with a made up name. Great point though about next time the other dumb fuck will win. That’s a really well thought out and articulate viewpoint.

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By the way, here’s the new America we can all be proud of! I’m so excited. Food stamps are great because people who can’t afford food can get food. And the more people who can’t afford food and need food stamps mean that things are awesome and getting better because they don’t have jobs, don’t have to work, but get food. And who cares if there are no jobs as long as there are food stamps. Happy days are here again and the future is so bright I gotta wear shades!

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http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2012-11-10/foodstamps-surge-most-one-year-new-all-time-record-delayed-release

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Oh, and more morons who want to protest Applebee’s and Papa Johns because they can’t afford the costs imposed by Obamacare and have to cut workers. Fuck those companies! Make them pay money! They are in business not to make money but to provide the government with someplace to take money from. Occupy Applebee’s!!

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http://twitchy.com/2012/11/09/applebees-targeted-after-franchisee-mulls-hiring-freeze-in-response-to-obamacare/

2:46 am November, 11 Douchble Helix said...

As a political analyst, that Mr. Wallnuts should stick to nostalgia.

9:24 am November, 11 DWallnuts is a dumbfuck said...

Happy?

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Papa John’s CEO has an internet-reported net worth of about $300 million. I’m sure that those layoffs will do as much to pay for Obamacare as they will to sustain and increase the already ridiculous standard of living to which he has become accostomed. I meant Israel, btw.

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What is it with you conservatives and the the lazy welfare mothers buying vodka with food stamps? That’s NOT where the VAST majority of your tax dollars go–get a fucking clue. Not only that, most of the people in poverty in this country are children–the vast majority, and they deserve to eat, and they deserve health care, if this is supposed to be the ‘land of opportuity’, blah, blah, blah. Opporutnity means you give then a chance to grow up and decide whether they are going to be lazy or work. Your beef with their parents has nothing to do with them. Not only that, but it is at least as likely that the single parent at the head of the family was injured, laid off (by Papa John’s CEO), or something less ‘easy’ than, ‘they’re just fucking lazy’.

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You know what? I take it back–your dumbfuck should never win.

3:53 pm November, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

No I agree. We should make all companies hire people and pay for things so not just single moms, but everyone, doesn’t have to worry about anything! And the government is so much better at running things than private entities, which is why the postal service blows away anything the private sector can do, and social security is a much better bet tthan anything the private sector can come up with.

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You guys are right. What company could run up a $16 trillion deficit, stay in business and plan to spend more? The government never has to pay anything back, companies and individuals do. Shit, when citizens and companies get in trouble they have to spend less if they can’t bring in more, but not the government. I think it’s brilliant. As a matter of fact, any of you trying to make ends meet, don’t spend less, spend more. The holidays are coming so if you’re squeezed, just go on a spending spree, cuz eventually if you spend enough you’ll start to make more.

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It’s working great in Europe so I don’t know why it’s taking us so long to get with the program. It’s gonna be awesome.

11:31 pm November, 11 Douchble Helix said...

No, DW, by lowering taxes, you increase revenues!

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Said no economics history book, ever.

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Limbaughs, Becks, & Roves

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