Monday, November 5, 2012

Hurricane Sandy and Herpster Van

Hurricane Sandy had the name first, and she’s not giving it back. Not even if Herpster Van finally shaves his Movember scruff.

Those douche-glasses are automatic stage-3 alert groin punch, offensive on so many cultural, theoretical, and historical levels.

I shave a schnoodle’s nadsack as a humble apology to Vishnu, and softly curl up and nap in Sandy’s heavenly leavened loaves of manna boobie prod.

# posted by douchebag1
4:01 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I would take sloppy 14ths from Hurricane Sandy

4:02 pm November, 5 jonezy said...

I’d drown in that

4:12 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’d rim Hurricane Sandy whilst she was in the midst of a particularly nasty bout with dysentery.

4:17 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Van converted $50,000 of his trucking firm’s reserves so that he could spend 2 hours waxing Hurricane Sandy’s nins whilst she cooed like a pigeon as she stroked his glans with the third knuckle of her ring finger.

4:21 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’d give three years off of my life span to have Hurricane Sandy drive her heel into my pelvic ischial arch whilst she Emory boarded her finger nails and whistled Fergie’s London Bridge song in an attempt to help me reach climax.

5:17 pm November, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

They say the eye of the hurricane is usually the calmest part of the storm. As Hurricane Sandy reeked havoc this past week I wondered what part of her anatomy was causing all the devastation. Then it hit me it was her noxious, wind blowing Ham Dangle™ here’s hoping Hurricane Sandy above has a less damaging dangle oh and if the water gets too high her large B( . )( . )b’s would make great flotation devices.

5:34 pm November, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hurricane Sandy is the world’s best looking victim of Hep C.

.

If you want to see a herp douche get DB1 to put up my Halloween fiasco. Son. Cause I don’t know how to turn a jpeg into a link for Hermit and Sir Charles.

5:40 pm November, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@ Douchey Wallnuts

.

You still off work? We sent two crews of linesmen and a couple of nurses from our humble town to help Poughkeepsie. It’s nice to be on the local utility board cause we get free drinks after biweekly meetings as compensation for our ineptitude. And you guys helped us during our ice storm years back. Good times.

6:16 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Worked today…If those worker yokels weren’t union the jerz power tools will send them right the fuc back to the great white north…Coo loo coo coo, coo coo coo coo. Take off, hosers.

6:20 pm November, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’d pay Hurricane Sandy two weeks wages for the privilege to anoint her inflamed piles with a cotton swab dabbed in mineral oil and mixed with the prosthetic fluid of a virgin bull whist she ignored me and talked about how many other men brought her to climax by chewing on her toenail cuticles.

6:44 pm November, 5 The Dude said...

I wouldn’t face fuck him with her dick.

.

How can you penetrate those douchey sunglasses in a night club with smug eyes? That’s gotta be some kinda record, and I’m pretty sure that’s the only significant penetration he’s getting.

6:48 pm November, 5 The Dude said...

Wallnuts, holy fuck! Drink a beer or ten. We need you, bro! *slap* We need you, I says!

.

Don’t worry about H. Sandy, that ship has sailed. Then it ran into the Eastern Seaboard and used waaaaay too much lubricant as it fucked a country.

7:15 pm November, 5 creature said...

pretty sure that hurricane sandy is a virtuoso on the meat whistle

7:16 pm November, 5 creature said...

mark muthersbaugh after hibernation

5:25 am November, 6 Douchble Helix said...

That Steven Wright sure can pull the hotts.

8:02 am November, 6 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

HMMMMMM….When something looks to good to be true…..

And P.T. Barnum said there is a douchebag born every minute. Something like that.

8:15 am November, 6 DarkSock said...

I want to hibernate on her meat shelves.

5:12 pm November, 6 Stephanie said...

The new porn movie Hurricane Sandy,Wet All Over.

12:36 am November, 13 Whoop-di-douche said...

Damn hurricane manages to blow in zebra from African continent, making beachhead on Sandy. Meanwhile, Herpster Van is exposed as Bear who blew in from Fire Island. Copulation Visa: Denied.

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