Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Mutanto The Bug-Eye Freak Hugs Your Sister

That’s just not right.

And by “sister” I mean your hot friend with occasional benefits (office parties and national holidays) whose day job is in accounting but secretly is into the freaky-deaky role play.

# posted by douchebag1
8:57 am November, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Great, now she has greasy, pungent roid sweat all over her. That stuff doesn’t just wash off.

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Hott chicks with aviator glasses ftw.

9:01 am November, 13 jonezy said...

I think I know her.

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Oh right- she’s the girl of my dreams.

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Fuck you Jobu!

9:20 am November, 13 Vin Douchal said...

That isn’t my sister. My sister’s 5’2″ 178 pounds and can break boards with a karate chop.

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Also, her voice can shattered windows, her BM’s can peel paint, her fingernails can perfectly peel an apple, her thighs play “Big Balls” by AC/DC when she wears corduroy and she can craft Big Papi origami figures out of restaurant napkins

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No that’s not my sister.

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On a related note, that General Petraeus was banging the wrong chick. Jill Kelley is tasty

9:46 am November, 13 DarkSock said...

I pine to eat bacon out of her armpits.

9:47 am November, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think Petraeus deserves an Honourary Douchebag The Week. Not for banging a very intelligent broad instead of his old wife, but because he let the Machine set him up as a stooge to detract from coverage of the Benghazi cover-up and the Cold Katrina that is developing. I’m going to start building non-formaldihide trailers back in the grove.

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Obama, you are one smart fucker to have the Chicago gang set this up. Now get the people back to work instead of shooting fucking hoops. Use your genius for good and help my brothers and sisters bring back a strong America. Cause when the Prime Minister here is spending all his time looking for new trade partners to replace American demand, it is just sad.

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Et Tu is a gentleman and scholar. I forgot about the points. Close game though.

10:27 am November, 13 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

In the cartoon universe

I sometimes wish I lived in

The dragon on his arm would come to life

And bite off his strangely tiny head

The headless body would jerk violently

Ruptured arteries spewing blood high in the air

Before collapsing to the ground below

Twitching for a few seconds

Finally the movement stops

The head would make a bump

Like a cantaloupe

In the dragon’s body

As it slithers off in search of

A quiet place to digest

That’s how it would be

In the cartoon world

I sometimes wish I lived in

11:01 am November, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I may be mistaken, but I doubt it. Her bikini cup is scrunched so far over to the side that Mutanto is getting some nippular action on his under-pec.

11:13 am November, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mutanto The Bug-Eye Freak bums me out and I’d bang sweet “sister” Sadie here.

11:18 am November, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Now this fuck up is funny

11:43 am November, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I love girls that talk about things all up in their snatch. This story about the General is only gonna get funnier.

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A word of advice: don’t forget to file your taxes for 15 years and lose your receipts. Son. And make sure you get set up so you can transfer money into your kids account on the basement computer while your wife serves bad coffee to the agents after you excuse yourself.

1:35 pm November, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The story may get funnier Rev, but it also needs flowchart in order to understand. The General must have been banging his biographer, which is a surefire way to get a positive treatment. That’s just good PR, that is. Well, as long as you are good in the sack and don’t accidentally pee in her mouth or something like that. Somehow this makes him incompetent to do his job… OK, I guess. Then his biographer starts threatening some other cougar, who may or may not be banging Generae Petreaus and Allen. Allen, who may or may not be having a four-way, likes to email sensitive information to his paramour.

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Somewhere in Tuscany, Berlusconi is getting a lapdance from a 14 year old pro and is laughing his ass off.

1:47 pm November, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

In other news, this may be the future Mrs. Wallnuts:

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http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57548600/cops-ariz-woman-runs-over-husband-for-not-voting/?tag=re1.channel

3:56 pm November, 13 Guid is Good said...

This gives me a great idea for a crime thriller trilogy “The Dragon Tattoo with a Douchebag.” Fame and fortune here I come.

9:41 pm November, 13 Stephanie said...

Creepy stare from steel wool head.

10:40 pm November, 13 Stephanie said...

She should secede from his arms.

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