Friday, November 16, 2012

The End of Joy

No words.

RIP joy, humor, life, celebration, happiness, hopefulness, ambition, excitement, pleasure, reward, and purpose to my life.

This may not be worse than the Holocaust, but it’s certainly worse than the Armenian genocide.

# posted by douchebag1
9:39 am November, 16 Douchble Helix said...

Peace, DB1.

9:44 am November, 16 I R A Darth Aggie said...

You can probably buy the recipe for Ho-Ho’s for a small fee.

9:45 am November, 16 jonezy said...

Twinkies- the creamiest of all monkeyholes

9:56 am November, 16 Charles Douchewin said...

Ding, Dong, the Twinkie’s dead…

9:56 am November, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Sad days indeed. Big labor did to our beloved snack food what the food nazis never could.

9:57 am November, 16 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hang in there Db1 maybe the government will bail them out like they did the auto industry?

9:57 am November, 16 Charles Douchewin said...

Hang in there DB1. Consumer demand may win out, and this’ll be like the comic book death of superman.

9:58 am November, 16 Charles Douchewin said...

Too delicious to fail.

10:06 am November, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As a Canadian who has seen Madison Avenue push this sweet shit since my parents bought their first TV and that 200 ft. antenna, I must in the interests of full disclosure note here that I have never consumed a tasty Hostess treat.

.

It is only imaginable that a DB1, nay a nation brought up under G-d and the most shining Golden Arches is suffering one of it’s bleakest days. I imagine a Twinky to be a crumbly pastry-type confection filled with a particularly corn glutinized ejaculate as it were. The hostess Twinkie a phallic symbol of post-war life for generations, trying to eat their way back to the times when women didn’t work and the weekend evenings spent listening to Uncle Milty and Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians by the oil-furnace in the dining room.

.

I forgot my point. But if you need any illegal drugs shipped over to you to ease your levelling blood-sugar ratios let me know you crazy kids.

10:17 am November, 16 Troy Tempest said...

big labour had nothing to do with this. Hostess had been repeatedly mismanaged by a bunch of vulture capitalists for years. It was saddled with more than $700 million dollars of debt. If the union had caved, management would have been able to squeeze a little more debt into the company, pay themselves huge parachutes, and then let the whole thing collapse. The union saw this was bullshit and called them on it. Are they out of work now instead of a year from now? Yes. Did the vultures get to squeeze another $100 million out of it? No.

10:18 am November, 16 The Dude said...

Just because I quit eating Twinkies and Ho Ho’s 20 years ago doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy seeing them on the shelf at 7-11. Crikey

.

Next, Anheuser-Busch?

10:21 am November, 16 DarkSock said...

Hang in there DB1. Here’s a website showing you how to make your own…

10:23 am November, 16 DarkSock said...

^ By the way, if Jacques puts up a similar post with a link…don’t click it.

10:25 am November, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Our beloved brother Troy is a Unionist. May we pray. And by pray I mean I’m gonna find the last muthefucking box of Twinkies for DB1,

.

10:26 am November, 16 creature said...

I came in a Twinky once

…it was messy, yet satifying

….I called it Harriet

10:34 am November, 16 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’ll tell you who was behind all of this!! It was that cunt Little Debbie!!!!

10:43 am November, 16 iL Duce said...

This just in!! Canada to become last stronghold of defunct Hostess-Twinkie-based American civilization:

Snack giant Hostess shuttering U.S. business, but Canada unaffected

Two Canadian companies that own the rights to some of U.S. bakery giant Hostess Brands Inc.’s products say the looming shutdown of the company won’t have any impact on their operations.

George Weston Ltd. owns the rights to Wonder Bread in Canada, while Saputo Inc. has the rights to the Hostess snack cake name.

The shutdown of Hostess in the U.S. will have no effect whatsoever on the Wonder Bread brand in Canada, said Geoffrey Wilson, senior vice-president for investor relations.

“We have the rights for Canada,” he said.

“It’s a very good seller. It’s a very important brand to us and we continue to invest in it.”

—> Hold tight DB! I’m starting on building my Ding-Dong “freedom tunnel” to Washington State this weekend. Just meet me at the other end with some of that newly legal Seattle OG Kush, and we’re all good bra’

11:21 am November, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

1) THE Holocaust

2) The Death of the Twinkie

3) The Armenian genocide

4) Darfur

4a) 9/11

5) Ford Fairlane starring Andrew Dice Clay

6) That picture where the naked Vietnamese kids are running down the street crying

7) The Dutch

8) Unshaven pussy

9) Naked Sandra Berhardt photos

10) Rosie O’Donnell’s taint

11:28 am November, 16 Vin Douchal said...

11) The NBA

12) Turkey Bacon

13) Oprah’s Book Club

14) Teen vampire movies

15) LSD made Illegal

11:31 am November, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DW. That is gold. Fucking Armenians are nasty pricks. 1st year university we had an Armenian, a Greek, and a Turk in the dorm. The Armenian was never heard from again after a drunken Saturday night. Nobody cared. If anyone needs a shave it’s the Armenians.

11:43 am November, 16 Troy Tempest said...

The Rev Said:

Our beloved brother Troy is a Unionist.

.

Sorta yeah. But more than anything, I’m a stickler for truth. And truth be told, Hostess has been badly managed for a very long time by vulture capitalists who saw it as a place to dump debt and write themselves big checks. IIRC, Hostess’s debt is somewhere north of $700 million dollars. They make (lousy) bread and snack cakes. The company has simply been raided and drained by management, leaving the workers holding the bag. Then when all the bills came due, management wanted to squeeze more debt out of the company over the backs of the workers. The workers said, FUCK OFF. So, now the company dies. So, my affection for the working class has nothing to do with the facts: and the fact is Hostess was driven into the ground by vultures over a period of many many years.

12:22 pm November, 16 Wheezer said...

The whole snack food industry is going fuccen crazy:

.

http://www.local12.com/news/local/story/Truck-Filled-With-Little-Debbie-Snacks-Stolen/RMPdgQLdXEO4VP7ZnRgdew.cspx

12:27 pm November, 16 Wheezer said...

And with weed becoming legal in more places in the US, one would think that Hostess could’ve waited a bit longer. Business would’ve certainly picked up in the next few months, and everyone could’ve reaped the benefits.

.

Oh well, buy stock in Frito-Lay…..

12:32 pm November, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Troy,

I’ll meet you half way. Bad management put the company on life support. The union pulled the plug. Nobody wins. Except Little Debie.

12:36 pm November, 16 creature said...

rolled into a service sta/convenience store the other day needing a sugar fix. to my dismay, there were no ding dongs, no twinky’s, no fruit pies & none of those lil’ hockey puck choc donuts…had to setlle for a snickers w almonds

…however, on the way out, there was a guy selling crack & weed by the washroom…all is not lost in America rev

1:02 pm November, 16 Ted Brogan said...

So the Hostess workers decided that they’d prefer to have no job as opposed to a job that pays slightly less money than they want. Clever.

2:24 pm November, 16 Bag Margera said...

I just saw Hostess potato chips yesterday (In Canada) those were my favourite chips as a kid, until my tastebuds developed.

3:30 pm November, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

16) Titanic, the movie with that short American actor guy who wrinkles his big forehead in all his movies

17) Money grubbing Jews closing down all those Palestinian accounts in the west bank.

18) Human trafficing of women who look hot and young in the pictures but show up with mustaches and a hand that’s backwards

19) The bombing of Pearl Bailey

20) Champagne Katie’s plastic boobs

8:58 am November, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Rev, how long before all the Armenian guy’s clothes and stereo and shit were gone?

12:19 pm November, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^I don’t know. It seemed like he was never there. I did see Haldun the Turk sneaking out with some chemical burns and a Walkman.

1:54 pm November, 17 Douchble Helix said...

He was disappeared, then, eh?

.

Say no more. [wink] [nod]

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