Friday, November 23, 2012

Turkey Thoughts and Links

Captain Douchebag and the So-So Ladies of Amateur Wrestling (SLAW) says “Happy post-Thanksgiving day!”

Party Peen for the pungent putridosity.

Yup.

Got little to nothin’.

The Black Friday orgy of spending is noxious and toxic and reprehensible and all that is wrong with consumer culture.

And yet I drove to Best Buy this morning and bought a Galaxy tablet.

Because hey, when in Rome, spit on the baby Tebus like the Romans do.

Here’s your links:

When the DB1 participates in consumer culture, this is what he buys

Speaking of buying, if you’re buying lotsa stuff on Amazon this holiday season, be sure to click through the HCwDB links to Amazon and help support the site’s operating costs. In the immortal words of Blutarksi, don’t cost nothin’.

The best way to get into the holiday spirit in Miami? You guessed it. Dress douchey as shit.

Genesis of the Bleeth. With a hint of redemption?

Speaking of Florida, douchey-ass Camaro brings out the haterz.

Gilbert Gottfried reads 50 Shades of Gray.

Confused about Pears? Try this handy chart.

Twinkies in the news

HoHos sadly ignored.

Okay, that’s it for links. You want your pear for realz:

Pensive Window Pear

And if that ain’t enough:

Quint Pear

Don’t ever say I didn’t do nothin’ for ya, no triple negative.

# posted by douchebag1
1:43 pm November, 23 bigphatnotadouche said...

Best pear in weeks. thanks DB1

1:49 pm November, 23 skrag2112 said...

The only message that Camaro sends is “My owner has a microscopic dick.”

2:25 pm November, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

God Save the Queen.

.

Also, Quint will need a bigger boat, if he wants to haul all that pear in to port. Aye-aye, Chief!

2:41 pm November, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Gilbert Gottfried is one funny Jew.

2:45 pm November, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

I luvs me some Ham Dangle™ on the 2 Quint pears on the right.

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Slutty, nourished Zoey Deschanel, of SLAW in pic above, has some nice cans.

3:45 pm November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brutus ” The BallSack ” Beefcake

3:45 pm November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ravishing Rick Nude

3:46 pm November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Underachiever

3:46 pm November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Randy “Nachoman” Savage

3:50 pm November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I also wear a tight silver meat hammock when in London. Meat hammock, I says. Son

3:52 pm November, 23 Vin Douchal said...

So,… once you’ve been made completely flaccid by Gilbert Gottfried’s sandpaper voice and would prefer to eat leftover turkey stuffing right out of the Tupperware while standing, drunk, in front of the fridge instead of throwing one in the old lady does this mean that current pop culture has become insidious or has one reached the stage of being concretely jaded to the point of caring?

.

I think I’m there. Jaded. Like a serrated blade slicing through turkey breast, things are now made annoying on purpose in an attempt to make images stick in your mind and hopefully increase your consuming.

.

Steve Howe, John Wetton and Carl Palmer sold out, why shouldn’t we?

.

Asians

7:57 pm November, 23 MoeDouche said...

His package is hanging. Did you know that?

10:03 pm November, 23 Little Willie said...

A gay stripper wearing a nutsling who loves sucking wieners during his full contact male lapdances. Not sure why the semi attractive broads are hanging out with this loser tool though.

10:57 pm November, 23 Douchble Helix said...

There’s nothing “jaded” about good leftover turkey stuffing.

11:42 pm November, 23 creature said...

…twigs & berries

7:27 am November, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Jaded is the new Optimistic.

12:31 pm November, 24 Duck Duck Douche said...

Smell the gonorrhea.

5:06 pm November, 24 Wheezer said...

Quint Pear: one for every finger of the fist I’ll be fucking tonight.

5:07 pm November, 24 Wheezer said...

Boy, that Phil Simms can sure pull some…..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

.

(OK, now am I screaming at seeing his package or the tranny?)

10:26 pm November, 25 The Dude said...

Please, Wheeze – don’t tell me that’s a tranny!

10:27 pm November, 25 The Dude said...

“Jaded is the new Optimistic” ftw

8:52 pm November, 26 Stephanie said...

Did I see him in The Rocky Horror Picture Show? He certainly isn’t the Silver Surfer.

8:54 pm November, 26 Stephanie said...

Three and a half hours to make 12 servings of Ho-Ho’s? Why not just buy a box of them when they come back out. Giant WTF?

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