Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Livin' the Beard

I’m not sure it qualifies as classically douchey, but for those men losing their hair who do the inverted shaved-head/beard thing, uhm no. Please stop.

Dominatrix Monica suffocates me with the tatted thigh, and I thank her for it and ask for more.

# posted by douchebag1
3:11 pm December, 5 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

She is a spicy little enchirito but I can’t get over the fucking tattoo of Boris Karloff on her goddamned thigh. What a boner-killer that would be.

3:18 pm December, 5 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Today’s discrete mathematics lesson:

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Set A – people who are actually “Living The Dream”

Set B – people who wear “Living The Dream” t-shirts

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The intersection of Set A and Set B is null.

3:20 pm December, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

If living the dream means wearing a t-shirt with a taboo version of Frank Mercurio on it then so be it the man line likes his toys.

3:21 pm December, 5 Troy Tempest said...

beards for bald(ing) men I give a pass, especially if one is not exactly “lithe” of frame. Why? Because with no hair and no beard, you end up with a big fat flesh knob on your shoulders. While that might work for Uncle Fester, most of us can’t really rock that look. Now shaving everything down to the beard is a “look” that I can’t rock, because I have a fairly broad face. So I need the thinning vague fluff up top and the stuff on the sides to mitigate and balance my face. But if I had a narrower head, I’d shave it down to the beard line, and if I had a thinner face, I could do without the beard and go for the full on Foucault. But, I’m not built that way, so it’s the goofy balding beardo look for me. DB1 in 10 years, you’ll prolly be thinking similar thoughts…

3:23 pm December, 5 Troy Tempest said...

And I agree – a tat of Frankenstein on her inner thigh is a major boner killer.

3:35 pm December, 5 Stephanie said...

He’s still a douche bag,simple as that. He’s obnoxious like any douche bag is. I’ll bet he’s got a Affliction shirt but he wasn’t wearing it that day.

3:45 pm December, 5 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

What a great looking guy. I bet he gets lots of tail. No doubt has to beat the chicks away with a stick. NOT

4:01 pm December, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Jabroni

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Armenian store keeper by day, party at club douchebag by night. She’s only going to stay with him until the Lotto Comission revokes his sales license. Also that “D” from the board of health, big as shit, in his front window isn’t helping salty snack sales.

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Good thing he practices questionable ID’ing or he’d be broke

4:14 pm December, 5 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

The “Living The Dream” gym plan:

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1) Bench press. 6 reps at max. Fail on 5th, drop bar to ground on the side with load “klank.”

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2) Cool down. Walk around gym for 15 minutes carrying gallon jug of water and taking loud gulps. Wipe sweat from head. Glare.

4:25 pm December, 5 Scooby Douche said...

Justin and Monica went out a couple of times in high school. After catching a screening of Beauty and the Beast down at the multiplex, they split a burger and fries at Stan’s Diner. She had a diet Coke and he went for lemonade. Later he fumbled with her bra straps while she gave him an awkward handie as they steamed up the windows of his 1972 Mustang II.

He told the guys in the locker room that they “went all the way”, because he thought a handie was going “all the way”.

Twenty years later they bump into each other at a small gig by The Story So Far, down at the Twilight Bar. She’s there trying to recapture some youth with her 13-yea-old daughter. He’s trying to score some young tail.

She hopes to rekindle “the magic”. He’s trying to remember who the hell she was…..

5:45 pm December, 5 Rev Chad Drunk said...

I fully agree with Troy. If a guy lost his hair I’d rather see him get off with a beard than a toup or replacement. But if I ever give myself a Mr. Clean, or, as the Quebeciose call him Monsieur Net, I will keep the face shaved and grow my hair back immediately after Mrs. Kroeger cancels my credit cards.

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Cuckolds

6:18 pm December, 5 ehcuodouche said...

Does he even lift?

6:52 pm December, 5 hermit said...

I hope Ich doesn’t think less of me for having Peter Boyle’s likeness sprawled across my generous groin region.

5:09 am December, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

On her inner left thigh she has a tatt of Lon Chaney, The Man of a Thousand Faces, and on her lower back she has Grandpa Al Lewis. Around her Zool, she has the face of Bela Lugosi with her Zool serving as Dracula’s bloody, open mouth. Zool, I says.

6:48 am December, 6 DarkSock said...

You guys don’t like the ghoulish thigh tatt?

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Baron Von Goolo would be mortified. More than he’s usually mortised.

9:05 am December, 6 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

She has the creature from the black lagoon tattooed between her ass cheeks; its mouth is the ringpiece. If you do her Greek-style and look down, it’s like you’re getting blown by an amphibian.

8:57 pm December, 6 creature said...

fat greek dude makes the corpse of perecles weep

8:58 pm December, 6 creature said...

…I would give her ghoulish thigh tatt a facial

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