Saturday, December 15, 2012

Most Impending Sign of Nuclear Scrotocalypse: Cartoon America

ImpendingSignOfTheApocalypse_CartoonAmerica

From late July.

‘Nuff smelled.

# posted by douchebag1
11:55 am December, 15 creature said...

when they ‘splode it’ll be messy

11:55 am December, 15 Ted Brogan said...

Terrifying.

11:56 am December, 15 Troy Tempest said...

what the fuck is wrong WITH HER BOOBS??? I hate these people. just kill me now…

12:07 pm December, 15 Tits McGee said...

Hit the deck, the boobies are about to blow!!!

12:09 pm December, 15 hermit said...

This kind of shit isn’t even funny, these two shouldn’t be allowed to tread the earth.

After Troy kill me.

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Please!

12:34 pm December, 15 I R A Darth Aggie said...

This the prefect example of the douchedox: I am at once disgusted and aroused by her inflated mammaries.

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Don’t kill me, just cut my parts off.

1:25 pm December, 15 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

On a positive note, at least they found each other. The perfect couple

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in hell.

2:20 pm December, 15 bigphatnotadouche said...

Those hindenburgs look painful.

conspirators

2:32 pm December, 15 Sir Douche said...

Steroids and silicone – great mix.

2:39 pm December, 15 The Dude said...

Getting this image out of my head requires Pear! and normal Globes! Puhleeezze!!!

2:50 pm December, 15 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Not since Mary Mammegeddon in last year’s poetic finale by Dark Sock have we seen such balloon-squeak proportions!

2:58 pm December, 15 Charles Douchewin said...

An open letter to plastic surgeons who perform augmentation surgeries similar to the above:

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Dear soulless goatlickers,

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I’d assume even your lidless eyes wouldn’t want to see images like the one pictured here, but then you know what they say about assume.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re alot alike – I also like boobs – alot. I also like hyperbole. But I never put them together. Well, boobs, perhaps. But hyperbole, and boobs, no. No no no.

See, it’s like this: sometimes, just because people want something – doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Take you, for example. Your parent’s wanted you to be hatched, which is all fine – until the part use your MD degree to become a pittyless self-esteem predator.

It’s understandable. Actions can have unintended consequences, just like the health risks, tautologically destructive self-esteem, and degradation of inter-social growth that results from your work.

But buck up, your penchant for hyperbole suggests you’ll appreciate superlatives, and when I think about mendacious leeches on humanity – you’re the best!

Sincerely,

Charles Douchewin

3:20 pm December, 15 Vin J Douchal said...

She sprained her wrist holding up her bowling balls and his ego. Let’s just hope he has enough bacne to keep from feeling like he’s the perfect male

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Nice blood flow, bra

3:37 pm December, 15 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

10,000 years of human one-upmanship culminates in this. Meet the Sneetcoids.

4:18 pm December, 15 Troy Tempest said...

I think I can safely predict that she is incapable of sleeping on her stomach, and that he doesn’t know / can’t pronounce a word that has more than three syllables.

4:32 pm December, 15 Douche ex Machina said...

I’m thinking two syllables, actually–and one of them is “grooo!”

5:15 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

When you tit fuck her your dick ends up hourglass shaped.

5:16 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Blow a load on those tits and you’re guaranteed to get cum in your eye.

5:16 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to slap those tits and you’ll split your knuckles open.

5:17 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to tit fuck that and you’re libel to get a stubbed dick. Ouch.

5:18 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to motorboat those tits and you’ll perforate your eardrums.

5:20 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to suckle those tits and you’ll end up with a nipple shaped chip in your front four incisors.

5:21 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to nibble on those tits and your grandkids will suffer from TMJ.

5:23 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to tit fuck that and your scrotum will get so stretched out you can tie your balls around your waste like a sweater.

5:23 pm December, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I havent been doing a good DJ job this year cause of the rickets and Adderal problems. Her tits are so big my cock would look small between them. But I digress, Sir Charles gave me an idea.

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Open Letter To Charles Douchewin. Did I plat thios one already.

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The Black Led Zeppelin

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V5VkMqM07s

5:26 pm December, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Try to tit fuck that and the pressure will squeeze the meat out of your dick, out your ass, and into her spleen through her belly button and she’ll end up with a dick shaped spleen that pisses back out her tits.

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Wait, what?

6:07 pm December, 15 The Dude said...

Talk about lactating marbles, these models of Inflato 2013™ squirt croquet balls out of their nipples.

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Put a gun to my head, force me to suckle a nip — I’d still cuddle up to hers, then shoot myself.

6:32 pm December, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

You can see the crap marks on her wrist wrap from how deep she fisted his ass. Fisted his ass, I says.

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Living Color are the rockingest rollingest Negroes EVER.

6:39 pm December, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

Are we agreed upon the game?

6:47 pm December, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

If future civilizations unearth this photo in a time capsule what the Fucc would they think? On another note, I would love to tag team her with the Rev Chad. Lenny the Box could supply us with the appropriate pharms and my renoB would penetrate her pucker with aplomb. Aplomb, I says.

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Watching the Knicks game tonight there is one a them Jews wearing a Knicks yarmulke court side. He also had a fine circumcision.

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As far as the tag team goes, we have to make sure our balls don’t touch. That would be gay no matter how the Fucc you slice it. I possess a certain amount of thickness that would challenge this broad’s colon, but I don’t want my beanbag beanbagging against another dude’s beanbag. Beanbag, I says.

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Mrs Wallnuts has learned to tolerate the thickness. A combo of amly nitrate and Johnny Walker Black allows her to take it deep whilst maintaining a good Pucker Squeeze. Pucker Squeeze, I says.

6:48 pm December, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

I look at her breasts and I think back to when I used to enjoy big ass balloons filled with Nitrous, 3 for $10 back in the day if I remember correctly.

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Dead Heads

6:55 pm December, 15 The Dude said...

Aplomb? Aplumb!

8:18 pm December, 15 Vin J Douchal said...

Stupid fuccen I.E. malls. 45 minutes to get in, then another 30 minutes to find a parking space, then finding no gift ideas after beating the paths. Only consolation is there was lotsa nice MILFs

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Just got my first beer and bit a vicodin in half to start Saturday night. This calls for some Gregg Allman jazzy blues stabbing ya right in the heart.

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Virtuoso musicianship: Queen Of Hearts

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The end of that tune^ is amazing

11:32 pm December, 15 Troy Tempest said...

I don’t think I will ever EVER be so lonesome and horny as to find this woman attractive. I’d have to be so fucking drunk. And Horny. And Lonesome.

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Nah – not even then. She totally creeps me out. And Mr Muskles is something else again. Truly, the end is near.

11:35 pm December, 15 Guid is Good said...

Tendon Ted is jelly. This guy looks like the fairways of Bushwood Country Club.

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Gophers

12:48 am December, 16 DarkSock said...

She lactates helium.

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And he talks in a high squeaky voice.

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If they had a child…it’d look like anal beads with eyes.

4:40 am December, 16 Wheezer said...

She will be providing overhead coverage for Super Bowl XLVII.

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Programming fact.

7:57 am December, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et Tu

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We’re on. Tell DW I don’t want to see his thick twig and berries.

7:16 am December, 17 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I once had a wart removed by having nitrus oxide applied. The super cold chemical raised a huge blister with the wart right in the center. If I’d had two warts side by side, they would have looked like her “boobs”.

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Her boobs make other boobs ashamed that they’re boobs.

11:30 am December, 17 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Rock hard abs with rock hard skull attracted to rock hard boobs. :(

6:19 pm December, 17 douche equis said...

I cannot think of anything funny to say about this, because it’s just too awful. Jesus, who thinks those boobs look good? What kind of person says yeah, I want to look like that? Arrrgh kill me third, or fourth, or wherever I am in line.

9:40 pm December, 17 Stephanie said...

One can only hope and ask Santa Claus,to pop them like a zit that they are. Gruesome Twosome.

9:53 pm December, 19 Little Willie said...

Those tits are dangerously overinflated. 60 psi is probably good enough but those babies have to be at least 300 psi. Steroid faggot has gonads the size of shriveled up raisins and a perpetually gaping sphincter from all the dicks he takes up there.

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