Sunday, December 30, 2012

New Years Rockin' Pear

HappyGuy

Happy Guy Says Happy New Pears!!

They may be artificially bronzed to the point of Bleeth, but they can still be squeezed.

# posted by douchebag1
9:14 am December, 30 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Wow the John Largeman in this photo is actually quite LARGE.

9:14 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

500 Quatloos for the tranny. Dmn three feet of snow messed up Hookerpalooza.

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@Et Tu

.Vikings over Packers?

9:27 am December, 30 Douchble Helix said...

Only one blond. Where is this?

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Too bad, Rev. I was looking forward to the gonzo reporting.

9:28 am December, 30 Douchble Helix said...

Not much silicone (saline?) either. Time warp? Foreigners? What?

9:31 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As sure as Kirk Cameron is my gay pastor I say, “Fuck you Forever Lazy. Snuggies were selling 2 for $5 this morning.” And fuck you Psy and the pony-dance you rode in on you cacksucker buffet eating tight tuxedo jacketing shit (Patpdyrioycbettjfucker).

9:45 am December, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

Straight up? then yes. You get Minnie Soda I get the Pack.

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Seamus Largeman livin’ the dream. Well played Seamus here’s hoping you got some access to the non bronzed parts of one of those girls and by non bronzed I mean quim (Respect DW).

9:53 am December, 30 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

When those women step into the shower, the floor of it will look like my toilet after a trip to an all you can eat shrimp place.

11:24 am December, 30 Vin J Douchal said...

I’m rooting for the gay bowler against legendary Walter Ray Williams Jr. Pro bowling was a dream of the young Douchal averaging over 200 as a young teen. Once I hit drinking age the average suffered.

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Nothing like a handjob from a Polish leftie bowler chick in the old Merc Montero after some frames and beer pitchers

12:53 pm December, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Redface Largeman is quite happy. And rightly so.

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Body dismorphic fitness bleeths love a good anal rummaging as much as your run of the mill anorexic chick, but due to their superior conditioning level can go all night. The anorexic chicks fade after 10 minutes or so. Plus the increased muscle mass of the fitness bleeths gives them a nice tight fit, where as the anorexics wind up with the Pink Sock when you pull out…The Pink Sock, I says.

1:42 pm December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d never pass up a Polish handjob, but I think you mean the Mercury Montego (The Poor Man’s Cougar). Worst fucking car my Dad ever bought. Had 2’x4’s for extra suspension and to hold up the front seats with broken springs and reclining mechanism. I loved that fucking car. He traded it for a Sebring Satellite which was in general another piece of historic shit. In 77′ when Papa Kroeger got a promotion he bought the top line New Yorker Broughan which was a wonderful car for me in school cause you could fit seventeen people in it and have a proper fuck session front or back if you were less than ten feet tall. The car was thirty seven feet long and used leaded gas. Good fucking times.

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I hate that two hours alone with two 20 year old sluts at the Ramada was cancelled due to blizzard while kids were at church and shit. Go Packers! I don’t want Et Tu to owe me money and disappear like Wedgie last year.

Come back Wedgie, we hardly new ye.

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http://cimbeon.com/mercury-montego-mx.html

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http://www.mmpricelesspearls.com/ Fuck

2:12 pm December, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmm………. “two hours alone with two 20 year old sluts at the Ramada”

2:31 pm December, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I wouldn’t squeeze anything in that lineup. All that skin is under so much pressure I’m afraid it might pop like a hemorrhoid.

2:34 pm December, 30 Morbo said...

I count 14 women in this picture and maybe three that are borderline fuckable. That’s like throwing a dart at a wall of dartboards and putting it into the bathroom door, or buying 100 Powerball tickets and ending up with two $7 winners.

2:44 pm December, 30 hermit said...

Funny shit Rev. We had a Montego station wagon in the early seventies. That white and woody one in the picture is a dead ringer.

The wood grain was a large plastic decal that started peeling one week after pops brought it home. It sat fourteen people comfortably. My brothers and I would tie dead animals to the rear bumper with string, hide it under the car until pops took us to run errands. We’d sit in the backward facing rear seat to watch some poor, dead squirrel bounce and dance across the potholes while we tried to stifle laughter.

If dad ever caught us, he’d beat us savagely, ’cause he didn’t like that kind of shit.

3:19 pm December, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

There It Is Again!! Mayan Eye of Ass Sex!! Second from our right!

3:37 pm December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My cock is so damaged by the various abuses, I could get all those girls off with one boner cause of the ejaculation delays. Drives the Mrs. crazy when I have to fuck her for three hours (on Cialis high dose). I would have a bronze bath and go immediately to the Kansas City VD Clinic cause they are very gentle with the interferon treatments and the gonorreah umbrella. Fuck I hate that fucking swab and scrape of my then tender urethra but the nurse was hot so I came all over her non-latex covered hands. She smiled, gave me a lollipop, and a pap smear and handed me off to my mother who said I had been a dirty, dirty, boy, dragged me to confession with my sore young Jesus-sized cock which amazed the priest on confessional duty. He dipped my cock in the Holy Water and asked me to come back the next Wednesday.

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Amen.

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Backward rear seat were awesome if you were alone flaggelating your cold member on the way back from Smuggler’s.

4:17 pm December, 30 Douchble Helix said...

Sheee-it! As long as you’re not counting Largeman back there, all 14’s plenty fuckable.

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But what the fuck is up with that spray tan shit?

5:30 pm December, 30 Macsorley McScrote said...

Well hell, I’d say all of them are worth doing, but all I get nowadays is self gratification while looking at nudes of Betty Paige from my dad’s old Playboy stash. Beggars can’t be choosers so phuck it, I’ll phuck it.

5:42 pm December, 30 beltman713 said...

Looks like a pack of bacon after it is removed from the frying pan.

5:48 pm December, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

I just realized that we didn’t discuss amount of out wager, I hope Vikings beat them next week to.

7:26 pm December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^I think I’m up $50 with the fucking Giants win (loss) and the Viking win (win). We should end up close to even in the next month.

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Not one of those girls of any nationality has had a discernable “Menses Stench” for the prior three months with the dismenorrhea and shit. But I think Andy Reed will be available to hand out the shower towels.

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Romos

8:08 pm December, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Lots of crispy pork rinds here, but I humbly submit asiatic beauty in metallic blue doing the weird squat near the front is grade A fapping material.

5:16 am December, 31 Guid is Good said...

^ Dude I think she’s taking a dump on one of those Asian crappers. You might want to double check before bustin’ out da moves. Unless that kinda kinky shit turns you on. Each to his own I say.

8:01 am December, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Montego was like a mini LTD. The LTD was good for a moving orgy, moving dumpsters and living in for three weeks at a time when a girlfriend threw your ass out.

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American car companies really screwed things up in the 70s. Kind of like now, but with worse gas mileage and fine Coronthian Leather.

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If you ejaculated on fine Corinthian Leather, it took off the top layer and made it turn colors before ultimately cracking and revealing the fine foam rubber (respect) underneath.

8:19 am December, 31 ehcuodouche said...

I didn’t think women would qualify for poo, but there you go – fourteen little poops in that picture.

8:23 am December, 31 ehcuodouche said...

I don’t think they can be squeezed. It would create a huge oil slick and then you’d have to scrub the feathers of all those poor largemen so they wouldn’t drown.

9:06 am December, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

If you ejaculate on a bleeth who has over-applied self-tanner it takes off the top layer and changes the bleeth’s skin color.

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This picture was taken at the Girls of Mensa annual get-together at the Hard Rock Casino in Vegas. Or was it the Girls of Menses get-together?

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I think girls with daddy issues and poor self-image deserve to be banged good and proper, especially when they are good-looking. And by good-looking I mean they have a hairless Vageen. Vageen, I says.

10:41 am December, 31 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^I haven’t seen a vajay hair since the Clinton years. It’s the pornification of society I say. Pornification. Equal parts Internet and Narcissism with maybe some Self Esteem issues thrown in.

11:10 am December, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

A hairy Vageen is one of the most unappealing things I can think of, aside from the male’s Dick Nest. Dick Nest, I says.

12:24 pm December, 31 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

In my prayers for the New Year, I pray that Happy Guy says to me, “For you- as many as you like. Take your pick my friend” With that the ladies giggle as I select the hotts for the night knowing my new year will start with the a smile on my face, an abundance of shame and a shot of penicillin. Happy New Year to all

12:48 pm December, 31 Douchble Helix said...

Right, Dude Mc. I’m thinking anal and ATM have gotten big porn boosts as well.

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So I’m told, anyways.

4:32 pm December, 31 douche equis said...

This is John Largeman classic. This is what John Largeman is all about.

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But what is up with those weird looking females? The one under John’s right hand and the three to our left of her look like facial plastic surgery victims. And that tan crap? These ladies give Poo a run for his money.

5:10 pm December, 31 eb said...

I think the sign in the background says it all. DO NOT TOUCH. On the other hand, if I had a box of latex gloves on I may be inclined to ignore the sign, give em a squeeze. I don’t want that bronzer shit on my hands but I would have some fun playing grabass with a few folks and accuse them of shitting their pants.

4:53 am January, 1 The Dude said...

I am GO on all these bleeths, except the one in the front row middle, because eww!

4:36 pm January, 2 baffomet said...

Skin Cancer ad?

5:54 pm January, 2 JustMC said...

It’s like some freakish negative of 30 pole-dancers in blackface. (What Rerun’s doing with them is anybody’s guess.)

11:19 am January, 3 Duck Duck Douche said...

You know how, at the end of your morning constitutional when you’re chasing dingleberrys and one ends up on your thumb and you are simultaneously repelled by it and compelled to lick it off?

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That’s this picture.

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