Monday, December 31, 2012

Oogieloves New Years!!

Everyone dance along with Cary Elwes as his career hits its absolute nadir!!

Merry New Years!!

# posted by douchebag1
8:36 am December, 31 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

did I miss the photo?

9:50 am December, 31 Douche Wayne said...

Now that the ‘Saw’ and ‘Hostel’ franchises have run their course, Oogieloves must be the latest offshoot of the torture porn genre.

9:52 am December, 31 Douche Wayne said...

Now that the ‘Batman’ trilogy has run its course, Oogieloves is clearly Christopher Nolan’s new project.

9:56 am December, 31 Douche Wayne said...

Now that ‘Transformers’ is no longer a challenge to his directorial skills, Michael Bay contemplated taking over the reigns of Oogieloves, but he found the plots too rich and complex to capture on screen.

9:57 am December, 31 Douche Wayne said...

Now that he has successfully developed groundbreaking new technology to capture 3D images, James Cameron produced Oogieloves.

9:58 am December, 31 Douche Wayne said...

After viewing Oogieloves, George Lucas became convinced that technology had advanced far enough for him to make Star Wars as he originally envisioned. Again.

10:07 am December, 31 Douche Wayne said...

Oogieloves has made Andy Serkis question the future of motion capture technology.

10:23 am December, 31 Vin Douchal said...

Good night, Wesley, sleep tight, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning

10:31 am December, 31 Scooby Douche said...

Don’t mess with the dread Pirate Roberts, bitches!

10:44 am December, 31 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Who the hell slipped me a shroom?

11:12 am December, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As you wish……

11:43 am December, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cowboy Curtis on a bath salts bender is hilarious pre-face munching.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihH_-O7ev2o

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http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/117986/original.jpg

12:06 pm December, 31 The Dude said...

I’m going back to the fiscal cliff. Or a Jimmy Stewart movie. Or a sledge hammer.

2:15 pm December, 31 Wheezer said...

Happy 2013, all y’all fuccen dead ghey hatters! May it be filled with pear and cheap booze, and maybe some reborn snack cake treats for the Boss.

3:18 pm December, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The doobies are in my finest tailored suit jacket. My appetite for double hooker sex quenched by the increasingly small Mrs. Kroeger this afternoon. She’s holding the clonazepam. gabapentin, cymbalta, oxys, crack, and digitalis stash in her new slutty boots. Everyone knows we’ll bring the illegal treats and act as fools in a drunken play until the end.

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The children have been kenneled and the dogs with Granny Kroeger. I haven’t slept in two days and will consume dozens of oysters and attempt the 32 oz.. Porterhouse while swilling Red Bull (no respect) to try to wake up for the afterparty at my incredibly wealthy friends house. There will be tiny teenagers serving catered snacks and endless jello shooters and vodka spiked slushies from the slushy machine.

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Billiards will be played and the ballroom will be filled with 40-something forever teenagers who have known each other for thirty years sneaking kisses in bathrooms with old and new flames. Mrs. Kroeger will call a cab when I lose the ability to speak or punch someone in the outer circle of fringers. Laughs and glory days will be retold for the millionth time as we get stoned on the balcony. Police, lawyers, teachers, Reverends and construction workers holding on to a fast -dying distant youth together. It’s glorious in it’s insanity and it’s eternal optimism that we will all live forever. Sad really.

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If I die I want Et Tu to use the $50 I am ahead toward a cheap teenage working girl. He will treat her well. She will go to med school on Et Tu’s dime. They will have a daughter named Sarah and live happily ever after drinking Maker’s and boating with Dark Sock.

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If I make it to midnight, I will not remember the night. But it doesn’t matter cause I relive it every year. Rust never sleeps my friends. Party like it’s 1999.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbeIv39s04s

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Peace in our time.

4:23 pm December, 31 Et Tu Douche? said...

^This is why the Rev is my hero.

4:27 pm December, 31 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Happy New Years from Vegas all!

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.The Old Choad has been busy with a few things over the past months….keeping him from properly enjoying all you beautiful bitches….I’m talking to you Rev Chad, Sock, Weezer, The Dude, et al.

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.Thanks to our fearless leader, the above video will now keep me from enjoying the ‘9o Dom Perignon and 8-ball of Peruvian flake I had saved just for tonight.

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.F*cking Elwes…..I’ve hated his candy ass ever since he humiliated Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride.

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.Pantinkin….now THERE is a man’s man!

5:02 pm December, 31 The Dude said...

Total, complete hero = Rev Chad

5:05 pm December, 31 The Dude said...

Elwes doesn’t bother me so much. He played the goody guy in a movie I worked on called Pentagon Wars. We hung out a bit, he was okay. I have no fuk’n idea what’s happening in this vid wid da puppets. Does not compute.

8:17 pm December, 31 The Dude said...

“Zyzzyx Road” sounds like a sleeper.

9:34 pm December, 31 The Dude said...

2013, the year of Kim Kardashian’s vagina. I need some of what Rev Chad is having. Soon. Son. Because, yikes

11:40 am January, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

Damn!!! Med school is expensive, here’s hoping the Rev made out alive last night.

11:57 am January, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I just woke up to an empty home. Yet a love note laid on the turd squeak that appears from my ass crack when I properly shit myself. From the size and shape of the freshly-washed off New Year’s Turd I did not harm anyone other than myself. I converged (after smoking a doob alone waiting for my raw meat and pissing on a friends retail parking lot with cheap small town cops hovering in the decrepit old towne last night around ten) with three younger and older men all unrelated to one another smoking smuggled cigarettes. As a properly dressed and unalarming looking Southern? (respect)

Gentleman with a huge stone going they asked me if I was a cop. I told then to fuck off and lit up two spliffs. I don’t know the men’s names or occupations were and did not care. IT was as if the three wise men often told in Catholic stories were there. I never saw them in the restaurant. The oysters were small and served without saltines (not acceptable in Apalachicoa?) but they were alright. The service slow as happens in a new restaurant but I don’t fucking care while drinking filthy Bombay Gin martini’s. Two fringers almost made me lose it complaining that their steaks were too raw or too well-done. I was about to kill them as we were in a third-storywalk up and a palladian window was behind them. Am I right Choad TDS? Should I have felt the need to kill yet not? Anyway the 32oz steak was awesome and raw. The oysters small for CDN oysters?

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I lived through another year and if we are all lucky will live throughout this one to exaggerate, lie. Steal, fuck unwanteds and wanteds, advance myself ( and concurrently mankinds knowledge of real economics, geology, and disprove anything created by Al Gore… go fuck yourself with those carbon -trades you loose mouthed husband cuckold by his bossy Southern wife. and Dee Snider wanted me to give you the bad finger.

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I am reminded of of gentler, kinder, SUPERPOWER, b esides which I grew up and supported the economy. Fuck you New World Order, we gots guns ans Ammo.

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Bring it on, Son.! I’m going back to bed cause this simplke civil dis- OBESDDDEEEEEWNCE will not end. OBA must goooooooooo awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

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“Reverend Chad’s Tea Party Fund Is Disbanding Today” for fiscal reasons you could not understand you Geithner relatives and Goldman investors. The new

SuperPac “Canadian Investors For Whomever IS Decided to be the next probable President (respect)” has been launched today. Have a great New Year and remember to learn Mandarin and the soiled an s sundry tales of The Prophet ( Blessed be Joel Osteen and Raxella Van Impe’s name) I’m way toos stoned to stay awake.

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Sister Wives

2:37 pm January, 1 ehcuodouche said...

Cary’s had some tax problems, so I guess he thought this was better than sucking cocks in West Hollywood. But not by much.

3:42 pm January, 2 DarkSock said...

@ The Dude:

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2013, the year of Kim Kardashian’s vagina.

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Is that why her vag appears in a bowl in the last two seconds of this video?

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