Sunday, December 16, 2012

Peariest Pear of 2012: Spinderella Pear

spinderella-293x600

DarkSock here, delivering succulent pear. It’s what I do.

While I may be going a little off the reservation here, because Spinderella Pear technically never appeared on the front page, but rather as a link in the comments threads by Senior Pear Hound Vin Douchal, I don’t care. Because I want to marry this woman’s butt. When Pears look like this they should be laser-measured, like custom truck floor mats, and discussed by learned panels on public access television channels, and bronzed and put in parks for children to frolic under. The White House must acknowledge any petitions presented with more than 25,000 valid signatures.

We can make my dream happen. In my lifetime.

 

 

 

 

 

In the event Spinderella is unable to meet her doodies as winner, I’ve designated as Bunner-Up Ms. Betty Buddocks seen being tainted by Benzino in March’s Unholy Pear Fondle:

hands off her you damn dirty ape

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bun.

# posted by Bagnonymous
8:47 am December, 16 bigphatnotadouche said...

D.S- mighty fine pear for a Sunday. I will begin to lust and thap immediately.

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heathens

8:47 am December, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I would drink Spinderella’s month old assorted bodily fluids with vodka and call it a Spartini for the chance for a whiff of her quim off a drunken obese Bostonian fisherman’s Bluefish scale covered fingers. Sawn.

9:03 am December, 16 The Dude said...

I could poke a hole in Unholy Pear Fondle. Benzino needs a hole in his head.

9:04 am December, 16 The Dude said...

Thanks for the Spinner, ‘Sock & Vin!

9:50 am December, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My day was made brighter with Spinderella Pear… until I saw a pile of choadwank on TV and the beer is now bland. Clouds formed immediately and a ice rain attack started. Then my 13 year-old furry golden friend wiped her ass on the off-white carpet in the kids rec room. She really can’t stand that jerk cause she doesn’t get to hang around contruction sites anymore. Fucker.

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Who is this villain who was part of a redo of Part 9 of the Ontario Building Code which immediately shut down my construction empire and the importing of prefab additions

from the lovely burbs of Happauge and Clinton township destroying Detroits economy in the process?

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Who is partially responsible for my chronic alcoholism and dirty hooker fetish? I don’t know if you’ve heard about or seen this fake fuck in the States but I tell you if

I see him or the Premier of this province I will kill them with my teeth and any nearby hammer of sharp blade of grass.

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It’s this skinny fucker. I want to wipe the life off of his face

http://www.kiss925.com/files/M2X00043_holmes11202009.jpg

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And he hangs around men in drag.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkbnwLDKDfw

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And he’s a smelly cunt.

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http://www.mike-holmes.is-a-jerk.com/

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And he’s never be able to build shit like this with a non TV budget. Fuck I hate that fucker. Like to pour flammable insulation on him and light him up. Cocksucker.

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http://www.newenglandconservatories.com/images/Conservatories/conservatories2.JPG

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Fuck you Mike and the flat head you rode in on you retard.

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The moral of this story is that you must always have some carpet cleaner-stain remover when you shit on the crappy old carpet the dog sleeps on when this prick shows up on your screen.

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I bet this sissy fucker has never seen one of these:

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http://www.cosmeticgyn.net/designer-vagina/mons-pubis-liposuction-before-and-after-pictures.html

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I think his brother is this guy:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTgcOEH3FtA

10:02 am December, 16 Wheezer said...

‘Sock, how were you able to pick a “best” from your archive? As I understand it, only Vin may have a wider collection.

10:07 am December, 16 Vin J Douchal said...

Wider, broader , deeper and more unborn splashed in effigy across the great beyond than the monkey cage at the L.A. Zoo

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Besides that, anyone can find outstanding pear. Tip Of The Day: Google: Brazilian bikini models

10:43 am December, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

A fine choice DS, a fine choice indeed. Now in no way would I ever question DS appreciation of gluteal succulence but I feel it’s my duty to share this with my fellow appreciators. I mean this is just soooo right.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/SqueezeyPear.jpg

10:44 am December, 16 The Dude said...

Wow, Et Tu – how does she do it? And how can I do her?

11:12 am December, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

You know that movie where James Franco falls into a crevice and has to cut off his favorite jerking-off arm? Well, I want to fall into spinner pear’s flesh crevice and live there like Robinson Crusoe, setting up camp near her taint and exploring her puckered sinkhole.

11:14 am December, 16 creature said...

can ya pee in the butt of a bronze statue?

11:25 am December, 16 Douchble Helix said...

All Pear. All The Time.

11:39 am December, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Vin’s link has drawn my attention away from football and towards my throbbing renoB.

11:54 am December, 16 Douche Springsteen said...

I know it’s very trite and cliche to fall back upon the old “I wish I was her bike seat”, but(t) at the same time…

12:35 pm December, 16 hermit said...

If you could just marry the booty, and eschew the rest, the divorce rate would fall to near zero.

And by eschew I mean maybe not the boobs. And maybe not the legs. And sometimes not the taut, supple belly or the vag…………

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Never mind, maybe just eliminate the part that talks and spends money and cries for no apparent reason and constantly nags and never EVER forgets past indiscretions no matter how seemingly insignificant.

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No, I’m not bitter.

12:42 pm December, 16 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

For 30 minutes, I’ve just been sitting and staring:

Dat.

Ass.

Holy mother of god.

4:15 pm December, 16 xoffender said...

don’t agree. both are fat asses

4:52 pm December, 16 douche equis said...

Hermit . . . I bow to you. I scrape and I grovel. Well done sir.

8:12 pm December, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mons Lipo was my porn name back in the 60s when Shag Carpet and Dick ‘Fros rules.

8:29 pm December, 16 Tits McGee said...

In one of his greater roles as Dr. Ted Fielding in Sphere, Liev Schreiber summed up how I feel about Spinderella’s gluteal asset…

“I bet if you put a laser micrometer on this you’d find it’s a perfect [pear]. I mean a perfect [pear] — down to a thousandth of an inch. That’s a message in itself.”

10:29 pm December, 16 The Dude said...

‘Sock, I want to thank you for providing a SanctuPeary from the horrible all-the-bad-shit-the-world-dumped-on-us-recently. Spinderella should be cloned.

10:32 pm December, 16 The Dude said...

Mons Lipo = delayed reaction, like when the news chumps are talking ~live~ across the ocean. 1500ms delay and I knew I was gonna chortle up something because that’s some funny there, Wallnuts!

8:42 am December, 17 FredN. said...

Now I have the proof that Rev. Chad is an AI type robot typing out random missives under the programming protocol calling for frequent reference to alcohol, because NO ONE WHO HAS KIDS WOULD PUT OFF-WHITE CARPET IN A KIDS’ REC ROOM.

12:42 pm December, 17 Wheezer said...

Thanks, McCrude! ‘Sock will be fappin’ to her Fapbook page now…..as will the rest of us.

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And then we’ll find the nude pics afterwards.

1:39 pm December, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Jeebus H. Kringle she is fit!

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