Friday, January 4, 2013
Friday Haiku
Look at his girl** and
fellatio handlebars!
**Her name? Lucy Furr.
Tying girls to tracks
is passe; Snidely Whiplash
now uses roofies
— Morbo
Handlebar mustache
Doesn’t distract from baldness
Or doucheness, either
— DoucheyWallnuts
Tell me friend have you
ever danced with the devil
and the pale bald guy?
— Chris Brown Note
She grew bright blue horns
Since the Gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Mustache rides are free!?”
Yes, but it’s a bad bargain
They’ll leave you itchy
Tying girls to tracks
is passe; Snidely Whiplash
now uses roofies
Simon Le Douchebag
Signals displeasure with pic.
My signal is puke.
Hit show “Whisker Wars”
in trouble for Season 2
if this is their plan
Handlebar mustache
Doesn’t distract from baldness
Or doucheness, either
Leif Garrett is sad
No longer a Teen Idol
Now an Adult Douche
Finger in picture
Didn’t cause the look on her face
Finger in ass did
The Iron Sheik has
raised his game over the years
Duke U cries in shame
Herpster facial hair
Flips society the bird
Rollie Fingers weeps
His mustache smells like
Russian Internet Bride Poon
Roofies and Vodka
I rarely say this
A tattoo would be better
Than fucking mustache
This site is called Hot
Chicks with Douchebags it isn’t
Pictures from gay bars.
Flown in from aught five.
Extremely subtle flip off.
That’s nineteen aught five.
He uses tampons
From her monkey hole to curl
His mustache at night.
It might be safer
To switch to beard rides in this
Case that’s not wax there
There is nothing more
Threatening than a groomed ‘stache
Flipping you the bird
When will herpsters learn
that being ironic is
considered mainstream.
If you think that is
Ridiculous check out the
Payes on his wang
Do not pass go, douche.
Do not collect two hundred
dollars, herpsterbag.
Demon Seles has
Herp Largeman check ligatures
Welcome to ’13
Do not drink and drive
your old-timey bicycle
with the huge front wheel.
Taking a breather
From the biker bar glory
Hole, ‘stache is crusty
Electric blue horns
On slinky slavic concubine
Dali hipster fails…
To count beyond
One
Remove the jacket
and the mustache. What is left?
Bald man with herpes.
Watson and Holmes are
Hot on the trail of the ‘stache
Of the Baskerville
She’s had that look on
Her face since his finger was
Put in her asshole
She’s the devil with
the goo dress ,goo dress, goo dress
on. Goo equals jizz.
Payes on the wang FTW.
He’s such a douchebag
After 26 comments
Her horns are ignored
Glowing horns mean that
His left finger hit pay dirt
Pay dirt means her bung
If your mustache does
nothing to hide your double
chin, then what’s the point?
The devil went down
to George’s Salon, looking
for a gay escort.
Photo snaped moment before
Blue-horn-slav smash
Goose glass into stash
Tell me friend have you
ever danced with the devil
and the pale bald guy?
Blue horns, blue balls, um
horny, blue, blue, balls, I know
there’s a joke somewhere.
like stylish moustache?
got it in crackerjack box
girl from crackerwhore
Russian matador
gores latina hindquarters
with horns on his face
This douche is why the
Stones had Sympathy for the
Devil. He’s that foul.
Slack-jawed bleeth can’t close
her mouth til gyroscope is
in her monkeyhole.*
–
* I do not own the rights to the final ten syllables. No infringement intended.
Salvador Dali
‘Bag likes to paint with his poop
Horn Bleeth unimpressed
When he asked for her
number she said, “666”.
He never got it.
When he asked for her
number she said, “666”.
He never called her.
Natasha Bluehornova shocked
When Stash lacked
Cash to pay for Drink
Chris Brown Note is En Fuego…
Chris Brown Note @ 9:13 FTW
Stash O’Toole angered
Beard 69 hat made
Natasha hornney
Douchestash curled with
Gel and desperation
Irritated Russian bride’s Cheek
This site goes down more
times than Plinky’s Mom goes down
on Ben AND Jerry.
.
Thanks guys. 🙂 The slipshod mechanics of WordPress fucked with my flow for a bit though.
Statement facial hair
Lost its appeal years ago
To all but trannies
leather stache is gold
at TJ wanna hump bar
score demon tranny
When bored, Phineus
plays horse shoes with his moustache
and last night’s cock rings.
Meanwhile, a leather
Daddy barbershop quartet
is now a trio.
It may look bizarre,
but moustache can double as
bottle opener.
Mustachioed. There.
I just wanted to use the
word Mustachioed.
How do I get my
mustache curls to stay, you ask?
Use Ass wax daily
Dispeptic Alto
From gay barbershop quartet
Voice lube: beer and jizz
As his mom asked him
Where is that nice girl Tammy
Finger and Surprise
6th Village Person
To modernize the band’s look
Bad ‘tude barista
Stoned and drunk cue ball
Thinks his olde thyme-y mustache
Hides mommy issues
Ass he quickly pulled
The anal beads from her ass
His magic was proofed.
The back of his head says,
“My other girlfiend is
A unicycle.”
Heineken? That’s for
Pussies. He’s opening a
Pabst in her Tar Hole.
Et Tu. meet a MILF.
MILF, I had no idea he
Was a hipsterbag.
This is the face of
a douche who sold his soul patch
to a deviled egg.
She grew bright blue horns
Since the Gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
“What kind of devil
are you?”-Him “Dirt.” She replied.
“I’ll suck anything.”
Is it just me or
Was the site not working till
This afternoon? Son.
Bald Vs. Evil
Who will emerge the victor
in this losing game?
This site goes down more
than RevChad goes down on his
cousins and uncle.
For some reason, I
Would still bang her even though
She’s with this douchebag
Site was not working
Goes down more than Bieber
Does on his boyfriend
Hott with Neon Horns
Tony Levin plays the Stick
Nappy Dugout Queef
All ladies should go
down on their fellas as much
as this site goes down.
The sites not working
Since the handlebar mustache
Was put on home page
If this site goes down
without cupping your balls ask
for your money back.
This site hasn’t worked
smoothly since DarkSock stopped
pissing in horses.
If DB1s show
on TV ran like his site…..
Oh. I get it now.
This site hasn’t run
smoothly since Medusa left
Frank Mercurio.
This site hasn’t been
the same since FLYTEETH left and
took all the TARMAL.
Of all the doucheyiest trends as of late, the douchestash is the scariest. It is the great equalizer. At one point, one had to be devoted to the lifestyle, have social support in the form of welfare and a room in their parents basement, and posses the genetic capability of awe inspiring feats of doucheness. For example, it takes a phenomenal amount of pigment and a beach towel, all just to get that deep bronze under a New Jersey sun. And that dirty jersey bronze is only one requirement among many to live a true douche existence: Ed Hardy t-shirts, nerves of steel to rob a liquor store to “pregame,” gym membership, access to a used M series German luxury car. The list is endless. Oh but the douchstash can be grown by most swinging dicks over 18, and it is even possible to keep a job as a cop, gaypornstar, or relief pitcher while growing it. It is my prediction that the douchstash will do to douchbagery what HDH did to baseball. Please recall striped shirt mustache douche from a few weeks ago. These two mustaches are like the first few raindrops to fall on the streets of New Jersey before Sandy. The heprster virus is far more deadly because it is easily spread. The Guido is merely a benign form of rectal cancer afflicting mainly people of a Southern European origin. The Herpster virus has the makings of a pandemic. It will spread. Only the facially folically challenged are safe.
The Monopoly Man loses
His monocle and
Colors his ‘stache
Horny neon hott
Finds Tobias offputting
He’s a nevernude