Friday, January 4, 2013

Friday Haiku

555

Look at his girl** and

fellatio handlebars!

**Her name? Lucy Furr.

Tying girls to tracks

is passe; Snidely Whiplash

now uses roofies

– Morbo

Handlebar mustache

Doesn’t distract from baldness

Or doucheness, either

– DoucheyWallnuts

Tell me friend have you

ever danced with the devil

and the pale bald guy?

– Chris Brown Note

She grew bright blue horns

Since the Gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

– The Reverend Chad Kroeger

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:14 am January, 4 Morbo said...

“Mustache rides are free!?”

Yes, but it’s a bad bargain

They’ll leave you itchy

7:18 am January, 4 Morbo said...

Tying girls to tracks

is passe; Snidely Whiplash

now uses roofies

7:19 am January, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Simon Le Douchebag

Signals displeasure with pic.

My signal is puke.

7:22 am January, 4 Morbo said...

Hit show “Whisker Wars”

in trouble for Season 2

if this is their plan

7:31 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Handlebar mustache

Doesn’t distract from baldness

Or doucheness, either

7:45 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Leif Garrett is sad

No longer a Teen Idol

Now an Adult Douche

8:16 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Finger in picture

Didn’t cause the look on her face

Finger in ass did

8:17 am January, 4 Ultra Bagnus said...

The Iron Sheik has

raised his game over the years

Duke U cries in shame

8:17 am January, 4 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Herpster facial hair

Flips society the bird

Rollie Fingers weeps

8:20 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

His mustache smells like

Russian Internet Bride Poon

Roofies and Vodka

8:23 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I rarely say this

A tattoo would be better

Than fucking mustache

8:32 am January, 4 ehcuodouche said...

This site is called Hot

Chicks with Douchebags it isn’t

Pictures from gay bars.

8:35 am January, 4 ehcuodouche said...

Flown in from aught five.

Extremely subtle flip off.

That’s nineteen aught five.

8:35 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

He uses tampons

From her monkey hole to curl

His mustache at night.

8:37 am January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

It might be safer

To switch to beard rides in this

Case that’s not wax there

8:39 am January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

There is nothing more

Threatening than a groomed ‘stache

Flipping you the bird

8:39 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

When will herpsters learn

that being ironic is

considered mainstream.

8:41 am January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

If you think that is

Ridiculous check out the

Payes on his wang

8:42 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Do not pass go, douche.

Do not collect two hundred

dollars, herpsterbag.

8:43 am January, 4 ehcuodouche said...

Demon Seles has

Herp Largeman check ligatures

Welcome to ’13

8:45 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Do not drink and drive

your old-timey bicycle

with the huge front wheel.

8:46 am January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Taking a breather

From the biker bar glory

Hole, ‘stache is crusty

8:46 am January, 4 douchenozzle said...

Electric blue horns

On slinky slavic concubine

Dali hipster fails…

To count beyond

One

8:49 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

Remove the jacket

and the mustache. What is left?

Bald man with herpes.

8:50 am January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Watson and Holmes are

Hot on the trail of the ‘stache

Of the Baskerville

8:52 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She’s had that look on

Her face since his finger was

Put in her asshole

8:54 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

She’s the devil with

the goo dress ,goo dress, goo dress

on. Goo equals jizz.

8:54 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Payes on the wang FTW.

8:57 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He’s such a douchebag

After 26 comments

Her horns are ignored

9:00 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Glowing horns mean that

His left finger hit pay dirt

Pay dirt means her bung

9:03 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

If your mustache does

nothing to hide your double

chin, then what’s the point?

9:07 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

The devil went down

to George’s Salon, looking

for a gay escort.

9:08 am January, 4 Lorenzo Llama said...

Photo snaped moment before

Blue-horn-slav smash

Goose glass into stash

9:13 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

Tell me friend have you

ever danced with the devil

and the pale bald guy?

9:19 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Blue horns, blue balls, um

horny, blue, blue, balls, I know

there’s a joke somewhere.

9:19 am January, 4 creature said...

like stylish moustache?

got it in crackerjack box

girl from crackerwhore

9:22 am January, 4 creature said...

Russian matador

gores latina hindquarters

with horns on his face

9:23 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This douche is why the

Stones had Sympathy for the

Devil. He’s that foul.

9:25 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Slack-jawed bleeth can’t close

her mouth til gyroscope is

in her monkeyhole.*

* I do not own the rights to the final ten syllables. No infringement intended.

9:27 am January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Salvador Dali

‘Bag likes to paint with his poop

Horn Bleeth unimpressed

9:27 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

When he asked for her

number she said, “666”.

He never got it.

9:45 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

When he asked for her

number she said, “666”.

He never called her.

10:21 am January, 4 Lorenzo Llama said...

Natasha Bluehornova shocked

When Stash lacked

Cash to pay for Drink

10:24 am January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Chris Brown Note is En Fuego…

10:27 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Chris Brown Note @ 9:13 FTW

10:28 am January, 4 Lorenzo Llama said...

Stash O’Toole angered

Beard 69 hat made

Natasha hornney

10:43 am January, 4 Lorenzo Llama said...

Douchestash curled with

Gel and desperation

Irritated Russian bride’s Cheek

11:39 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This site goes down more

times than Plinky’s Mom goes down

on Ben AND Jerry.

.

Thanks guys. :) The slipshod mechanics of WordPress fucked with my flow for a bit though.

11:43 am January, 4 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Statement facial hair

Lost its appeal years ago

To all but trannies

11:44 am January, 4 creature said...

leather stache is gold

at TJ wanna hump bar

score demon tranny

11:50 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

When bored, Phineus

plays horse shoes with his moustache

and last night’s cock rings.

11:51 am January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

Meanwhile, a leather

Daddy barbershop quartet

is now a trio.

11:52 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

It may look bizarre,

but moustache can double as

bottle opener.

11:54 am January, 4 Douche Wayne said...

Mustachioed. There.

I just wanted to use the

word Mustachioed.

11:57 am January, 4 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

How do I get my

mustache curls to stay, you ask?

Use Ass wax daily

11:58 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Dispeptic Alto

From gay barbershop quartet

Voice lube: beer and jizz

12:00 pm January, 4 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

As his mom asked him

Where is that nice girl Tammy

Finger and Surprise

12:00 pm January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

6th Village Person

To modernize the band’s look

Bad ‘tude barista

12:03 pm January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Stoned and drunk cue ball

Thinks his olde thyme-y mustache

Hides mommy issues

12:04 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ass he quickly pulled

The anal beads from her ass

His magic was proofed.

12:06 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The back of his head says,

“My other girlfiend is

A unicycle.”

12:08 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Heineken? That’s for

Pussies. He’s opening a

Pabst in her Tar Hole.

12:09 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Et Tu. meet a MILF.

MILF, I had no idea he

Was a hipsterbag.

12:10 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This is the face of

a douche who sold his soul patch

to a deviled egg.

12:12 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She grew bright blue horns

Since the Gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

12:21 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

“What kind of devil

are you?”-Him “Dirt.” She replied.

“I’ll suck anything.”

12:33 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Is it just me or

Was the site not working till

This afternoon? Son.

12:36 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

Bald Vs. Evil

Who will emerge the victor

in this losing game?

12:40 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This site goes down more

than RevChad goes down on his

cousins and uncle.

1:00 pm January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

For some reason, I

Would still bang her even though

She’s with this douchebag

1:04 pm January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Site was not working

Goes down more than Bieber

Does on his boyfriend

1:20 pm January, 4 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Hott with Neon Horns

Tony Levin plays the Stick

Nappy Dugout Queef

1:28 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

All ladies should go

down on their fellas as much

as this site goes down.

1:29 pm January, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The sites not working

Since the handlebar mustache

Was put on home page

1:30 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

If this site goes down

without cupping your balls ask

for your money back.

1:32 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This site hasn’t worked

smoothly since DarkSock stopped

pissing in horses.

1:39 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

If DB1s show

on TV ran like his site…..

Oh. I get it now.

1:44 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This site hasn’t run

smoothly since Medusa left

Frank Mercurio.

1:48 pm January, 4 Chris Brown Note said...

This site hasn’t been

the same since FLYTEETH left and

took all the TARMAL.

5:05 pm January, 4 Dr. Eve Summers said...

Of all the doucheyiest trends as of late, the douchestash is the scariest. It is the great equalizer. At one point, one had to be devoted to the lifestyle, have social support in the form of welfare and a room in their parents basement, and posses the genetic capability of awe inspiring feats of doucheness. For example, it takes a phenomenal amount of pigment and a beach towel, all just to get that deep bronze under a New Jersey sun. And that dirty jersey bronze is only one requirement among many to live a true douche existence: Ed Hardy t-shirts, nerves of steel to rob a liquor store to “pregame,” gym membership, access to a used M series German luxury car. The list is endless. Oh but the douchstash can be grown by most swinging dicks over 18, and it is even possible to keep a job as a cop, gaypornstar, or relief pitcher while growing it. It is my prediction that the douchstash will do to douchbagery what HDH did to baseball. Please recall striped shirt mustache douche from a few weeks ago. These two mustaches are like the first few raindrops to fall on the streets of New Jersey before Sandy. The heprster virus is far more deadly because it is easily spread. The Guido is merely a benign form of rectal cancer afflicting mainly people of a Southern European origin. The Herpster virus has the makings of a pandemic. It will spread. Only the facially folically challenged are safe.

6:14 pm January, 4 Macsorley McScrote said...

The Monopoly Man loses

His monocle and

Colors his ‘stache

8:49 am January, 5 JustMC said...

Horny neon hott

Finds Tobias offputting

He’s a nevernude

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