Saturday, January 26, 2013

Paula roofies Lurch

ass peril

“Sorry, son, but MY roofie is kicking in on YOU. And by the way, my name’s Paul, not Paula. Shall we go for a van ride now?”

While Lurch McRoofie is carried away into the night, and a waiting cornfield, let us reflect. With Pear.

Camo Pear

White Pear

Lacie J. Underall Pear

Pool Pear

Surf Pear

And my favorite – Perfect Pear

# posted by Bagnonymous
2:06 pm January, 26 DarkSock said...

Perfect Pear….I’d pee in her butt.

2:11 pm January, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nice Pears, Son. Paula kind of looks like a butch and kind of ugly hoe-bag version of my long lost one night woman of scratchy faced bliss, Leah the Mullatoo. But Leah was a true hot and her Brillo bush was a jungle I loved to machete through with my tonque and Loin Lance.

.

I see DB1 is feeling better. And by better I mean ready to censor tonight’s submission of Ask The Reverend.

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So these Pears (respect reming me of a dream I had last night. First night i a long time that I only needed doobies to get me to sleep. I’m not drinking much cause of the liver test this week which may have me lose my license again. Fucking Ministry of Tranportation has no sense of humour. But my doctor’s cool. So I’m dreaming of sitting up on a springtime mountain top with three girls in a warm spring scene. They’re singing like the sirens in “O’ Brother where art thou. So I’m young Ullyses being fucked around once more. The blonde one oozes sexy and mounts me. The redhead rides my face while singing. Eventually the third one, whick I hadn’t seen switched to my face and I could no longer breath and she tasted like fish and an overdose of kielbassa fat. I opened my eyes and was in the middle of a Wilson Phillips video. Then I woke with a cold sweat and remembered that I had just watched Harold and Kumar and passed out with a mouthful of almonds and sardines.

2:33 pm January, 26 Douchble Helix said...

Great pears, and great Rev.

3:12 pm January, 26 I R A Darth Aggie said...

That’s an awful lot of pear. Bumper crop, eh? I’ll be in my bunk. But not for very long.

3:18 pm January, 26 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmm….Pear!

3:31 pm January, 26 Ted Brogan said...

Enough of this clown already. But the pears… oh my. I’m feeling lightheaded.

4:14 pm January, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Pear. And pear. If I didn’t know any better I’d say we’s a bunch of ass men around here.

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As(s) in:

.

Surf Pear

.

Strip Poker Pear

.

Fuck Yeah Pear

.

Brasil Pear, the best kind

4:25 pm January, 26 creature said...

the answer to afternoon snack choice…pear!

4:46 pm January, 26 Jasper said...

Yeehaw! Buttocks!

5:12 pm January, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m way too stoned too early ,Sons. I’m sitting in the bask of all the weed I can smoke in a year with beer and benzos. I mentioned one time of meeting. Anyhows, I’m getting kind of stoned and letting my mind wander and checking outnsome tunes in my office and the ladies are all asleep. So

I’m gonna get sonstoned you could cal me a Afghani buzzard man. I’m thinking that my mind and body are separate in a different way if you know what I mean. Floating out of my mind.

.

The moon is full and clear above the adjacent flock of bare frozen deciduous forests. The cold silencing the people before they can express their sadness. A nation of people with Seasonal Depression Disorder desperate for ideas of what they can do other than hide in the protective envelope the home provides. Fucking winter sucks when you start feeling the age homies its going to happen to you to. First it’s the fucking nerves, then high blood pressure and various undiagnosed ailments and cholesterol ratios and then ya have to eat sardines two times a day and almonds and shit or you have to take another pill. Fuck you big Pharma(nonrespect). Try the weed first before you take the pills man. Unlless you’re holding opiods or sedatives. then you can call me and I’ll

5:28 pm January, 26 Jasper said...

^Uh oh. Looks like my fellow octogenarian finally kicked it. I hope they give him a proper burial. Gettin old sucks donkey dick fellers, I’ll tell you what. Now to go find me a fillie half my age! It’s 3/4 life crises time!

5:33 pm January, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

Upon further pear reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that a Pear a day would be a great cure all for all that ails.

5:56 pm January, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

A pear in the hand is not always better than a few minutes of progressive rock,man. I’m really stoned now drinking fucking low-cal beer fucking thin shit tastes like American beer (respeck) kind of like a Miller taste like you know

.

9:39 pm January, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Things that give me a renoB, part 4 in a never ending series.

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http://bennygold.com/shay-maria-for-benny-gold-by-danny-steezy/

9:42 pm January, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Oh and am I really drunk or does this Wrath of the Titans movie make no sense? They ain’t hardly any dames innit, and the ones that is is all covered up and talking with the British accent which don’t make no sense since they’s supposed to be Greeks. But at least they ain’t homely like real Greek broads (respect, not).

9:45 pm January, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

And another thing, the bad Rat Pack flicks cost like $600 bucks to make, not includin’ the booze and the hookers. So if they sucked no one was out any serious cabbage. These big blockbuster suck jobs don’t make nonsense an they cost millions and millions a clams to make.

9:51 pm January, 26 DarkSock said...

Clams

9:52 pm January, 26 The Dude said...

Pool Pear devastates my pants with desire. I gotta get out to more pools!

10:07 pm January, 26 DarkSock said...

Tomorrow I round out my week (literally) with four new AssPear LaPlante photos. Take your vitamin E now.

12:30 am January, 27 The Dude said...

The Dark Knight Rises sucks so bad, that idiot in the movie house was just completely aiming at the wrong people. Yikes, what a piece of shit!

6:50 am January, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I remember one time Mrs Wallnuts wore a particularly provocative bathing suit to the pool at the Fountainbleu – she had some ass on her – and it caused quite a stir amongst the populace. Populace, I says.

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So I says, “Annette, you better watch yurself. Wit all the goombahs hangin around here youse likely to get grabbed and then I’m gonna hafta start trowin hands. Ain’t that ain’t never a good thing.”

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I weren’t no jealous type. I just didn’t want no fuckin gorilla grabbin my wife’s caboose. So we got through the day without no incident, and then later I waxed that ass good and proper. Waxed that ass, I says.

9:10 am January, 27 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Oh, my!

This may be the all time greatest display of pear ever.

5:20 am January, 28 Tammy said...

That’s an awful lot of pear!

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