Friday, January 11, 2013

Reader Mail: Can't Be Anonymous Anymore Takes Umbrage

AnotherOrangeutan

Can’t Be Anonymous Anymore reacts to the new posts in the comments threads:

———

With all these wonderful changes around here McCrud anonymity is a thing of the past–now you have to provide a made up e-mail address too.

Pee on others? F@#k that–you’re right, I’ll start clicking elsewhere.

However, I feel I owe it to DB1 first to say: I was coming here regularly for years. Then the site stopped being funny, completely about a week ago. Reverend–not merely not funny–incoherent and not funny.

Wallynuts–that schtick has sucked since day 1–day 1 I says but, to each their own–the four of you left seem to like it, and… Douchteau, your piece was good, but it doesn’t belong on a satire/humor blog. Again. Not. Funny.

If you ‘guest contributors’ are wondering what funny looks like from guest contributors, see everything Darksock has done, and BVG did a damn fine job too.

DB1, you’re f@#king up a good thing, but it’s yours, so good luck and godspeed. I think you’re worrying too much about what your career isn’t, rather than being appreciative of what you have. Don’t be a f@#king douche and forget where you came from. Kill it outright, or cultivate it–quick this half assed bullshit.

———–

If I had a chicken, I’d call it an octopus.

# posted by douchebag1
9:59 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle

10:15 am January, 11 Douche Wayne said...

Too bad he won’t be around to see he got his own segment. Maybe he can direct some of that ire and tell me how to put a cute little picture in my profile.

Didn’t someone just comment that no douches write in anymore? Careful what you wish for.

10:25 am January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If I had a vagina, I’d be my sister?

10:26 am January, 11 creature said...

‘woman raped by monkey, news at 11′

doncha just love the media?

10:31 am January, 11 creature said...

c’mon rev, ifn you had a vag, you’d never take your hands off it

11:18 am January, 11 wonderdouche twin said...

I’m just here for the pics and pear, I’m to lazy to look for pictures of hot chicks with douchebags on my own. Damn coming down on the lazy, if you don’t like the comments um don’t read them? maybe it’s just me?

11:29 am January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My brother never thought anything he saw on this site was funny. But his wife found tranny magazines and buttplugs in his luggage, and chlamydia in her vag and divorced him.

11:34 am January, 11 hermit said...

I sometimes get a boner during the Genie Bra® commercial.

11:35 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

can’t be a big swingin’ dick anymore

11:37 am January, 11 hermit said...

^ Fo’ realz

11:45 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

can’t be a dude that jacks off to HCwDB because the regs can post anymore

11:47 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

can’t be a dude that reads HCwDB because after getting a tribal tatt, spray on tan, big knock off brand watch and fist pumping to house music realized I , too, am a Douche anymore

11:48 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

can’t be in the closet because I recently lost my behymen anymore

12:01 pm January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

@ Hermit 11:44

.

I used to have a jones for Carol Grow. She was one of the first Fredrick’s of Hollywood models long before Victoria’s Secret ran with making the models celebrities and famewhores.

.

It was a holiday when their catelogue came out and she was in something sheer that allowed a look at her nips and pubes…. YAY!

.

She was born ten years too soon as she missed out on Victoria’s and resulting fame and fortune. She was arrested in 2007 for driving under the influence of narcotics ( let’s guess, meth).

.

Even her mug shot still gets me tingle-y

12:01 pm January, 11 Dan Gould said...

Can’t Be Anonymous anymore is 100% correct. DB1 is pissing on what he created, soon I will be here once a month to find all pear posts. I’ll be shocked if this place doesn’t turn into the same 5-10 commenters laughing at the same stupid shtick.

12:13 pm January, 11 Douche Wayne said...

@ Hermit and Vin

I’m a big fan of Rhonda Shears’ bra shows on whatever-the-hell-home-shopping-network. She used to host USA’s Up All Night B-movie extravaganza and made me feel funny in the dickular region as a youngling.

12:25 pm January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Vin has great taste in milfy washed up models mug shots. I’d tap that young lady’s boobs and bush.

12:25 pm January, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I just can’t believe anyone would take a site call “hot chicks with douchbags” serious enough to elicit anger and warrant writing in to vent about it ????? Personally I hope DB1 keeps it going, reg run or whatever.

12:31 pm January, 11 creature said...

vin d by far wins comment clickable link chategory

12:38 pm January, 11 hermit said...

That mug shot was hot.

I used to beat off in my neighbor’s bathroom when his mom’s bras were hanging on the shower pole over the bathtub.

1:03 pm January, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Non pascentur in troglodytae.

.

Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls.

1:16 pm January, 11 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Hey, if it ends up being a dozen-regulars-circle-jerk week after, week, at least I’ll enjoy having someone’s fist pumping up and down on my digital cokk. I just wish one of you commentator-regs was a chick so that I could do some oyster massaging f’ya know what I mean.

.

Who ever’s got me in the palm of their Cheeto-stained hand, just be gentle. I chafe and if you stroke too hard you’ll burst the pustules. And that’s not good for either of us.

1:59 pm January, 11 DarkSock said...

Just goes to show…you can’t please all of the people all of the time, but you can take a dump on the floor if you catch your spouse cheating.
you big dump fuck

2:37 pm January, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Is this site required reading for some people? Why the anger?

.

I loves the Genie Bra commercial, but not the Genie Gunt commercial.

3:41 pm January, 11 hermit said...

I jerk off to Glen Campbell’s mug shot on the reg.

3:42 pm January, 11 hermit said...

Fo’ realz

6:41 pm January, 11 JustMC said...

Stingrays are easier to Photoshop.

8:04 pm January, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I’m still looking for where on this site it’s listed as a “satire/humor” blog. I’ll let you know when I find the reference.

9:46 pm January, 11 Douchble Helix said...

MAN!! The dryness around here is sucking the very saline from my pores…

2:06 am January, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I don’t think I’m one of the last 4, so I’m really not here anymore. All this time I though you were all figures of my imagination. My solipsism is cured!!!

10:40 am January, 12 Bag Margera said...

Yeah DB1… You fuckin suck. I feel I owe you that much since you’re so awesome. I couldn’t just leave the site forever without telling you what I hope to see improve. Now that I’m no longer anonymous, will you remember me always?

10:04 am January, 14 Dickie Fingers said...

Kelly Pickler likes monkey in her gyroscope hole.

11:42 pm January, 14 Little Willie said...

The ape on the left has Downs Syndrome and the one on the right is about to fuck her in the rear end.

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