Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tragically Herp infects Velma and Blondie

restraining odor

Oh Bookish Velma and Blondie…your clue to avoid The Tragically Herp should have been his restraining odor…

Too Cool To Shower.

# posted by Bagnonymous
8:18 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Homely Chicks With Scarf Wearing Hipster Doofuses”

8:20 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Chicks You Might Bang Whilst Drunk With a Guy You’d Definitely Punch In the Balls”

8:21 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Pasty Bleeths With Jesus Look-A-Likes”

8:22 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Past-Their-Prime Dames With White Belt Wearing Finochs”

8:26 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Bottle Blondes on the Bottle Who Might Kill Your renoB”

8:36 am January, 23 DarkSock said...

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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Tragically Herp just wants to watch the world at a Dutch Angle.

9:02 am January, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

At his last dumpster diving competition, the Tragically Herp won a bunch of brown bananas for stinkiest entry. Hidden inside the bunch was a Brown Refuse spider. It caused the chronic wasting disease that led his neck muscles to atrophy. He needs the nurses to hold up his head and provide him with a constant supply of scat which they use to heal his wounds and for the regular fecal translants he requires. He pays them extra to clean his filthy flesh prisons exterior with frequent piss blizzards.

.

Tragically Herp’s father is a derivative fund manager who chews uppers all day long while fucking people around. When he finishes work, he goes straight to his limo and takes Cialis anally on his way to the mistresses pad uptown. Shortly before midnight he goes home to his aging beautiful wife and has a few scotch while they gossip about who banging who at the club and retire. The 5 am breakfast is the only time they talk. Sometimes they can talk about what happened to Trag without domestic violence. It always ends up with the father saying she should have eaten red meat while pregnant.

.

He goes to work to validate his existence. She takes out her old Cat Stevens vinyl, plays it on herps first vintage Technics table, weeps and takes her first drink of the day wondering what might have been if she hadn’t gone to that kegger in ’88.

9:04 am January, 23 Vin Douchal said...

I’m feeling Bookish Velma. No, actually I’m feeling myself while looking at Bookish Velma

9:07 am January, 23 Bag em, Tag em said...

white belt with acid washed light blue jeans….

terrible start to my day

9:28 am January, 23 creature said...

Velma is the type of broad whose ample curves quiver & quake with a seismic intensity as you pound flesh into her cavities

9:33 am January, 23 creature said...

btw, tragically herp looks like he has his pants on backwards…you aint no Kriss Kross mofukah, but, you are a lil’ bowow!

9:42 am January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Yeah, I think Velma just may have a few pleasant/naughty surprises in that top dresser drawer. And loads of enthusiasm.

.

Hey, DW, got a sock fulla nickles I can borrow for just a swing or two? I might return it with a little uh, “red paint” on it. Na mean?

10:06 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

^ 2 billiard balls surrounded by pennies works better. Contusions, I says.

10:13 am January, 23 jcdouchey said...

Rev. you consistantly bring it. awesome!

10:20 am January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Things that give me a renoB; Part 1 in a never ending series…

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http://www.thesuperficial.com/photos/aida-yespica-bikini-photos-miami-beach/aida-yespica-bikini-photos-miami-beach-4

10:26 am January, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

Bookish Velma is alright in my book, get it?,sorry about that. Douchble Helix FTW and by the win I mean spot on with regards to Bookish Velma’s top dresser drawer.

10:58 am January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

I like her. That’s what I posted.

10:59 am January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Mr. DW, does your little bikini friend, pictured here from December, 2011 go for you old Vegas guys?

.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/photos/aida-yespica-in-a-bikini-again/aida-yespica-in-a-bikini-again-8

11:21 am January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

The sack of nickles is for the herpster, not the lady. Geez, whattaya take me fer?

11:23 am January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Shit. I’m all fucked up. Please disregard my nonsense, except the link to DW’s gal.

12:40 pm January, 23 Douche Wayne said...

Herpsters have become my favorite form of douche. And by ‘favorite’ I mean ‘they go off the cliff first.’ Maybe I’ve just built up a tolerance for your garden variety GSR bags as a result of living in New Jersey, and by ‘New Jersey’ I mean ‘Ground Zero for the Grieco Virus’ but their bullshit holier-than-thou attitudes earn them a special ring of hell, where all the vinyl records are scratched and the coffee is instant.

12:42 pm January, 23 Douche Wayne said...

As for Velma, I’d let her pull off my rubber mask as she foils my crimes.

12:57 pm January, 23 creature said...

no car…rides a fixie

1:29 pm January, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

@ DH I know you ain’t planning on hittin no dame, for Chrissakes…

.

I think that dame, any dame, would appreciate any guy that could give her nice things and treat her right. Na mean?

2:48 pm January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

DW, my comments were all fucked up. Please, disregard them, and they were not in all their fucked upness repsonding to any of your posts.

.

I had a bad brain fart.

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Yep. Being a gent never goes out if style.

2:49 pm January, 23 Douchble Helix said...

“of style”

.

(sigh)

2:49 pm January, 23 Bag Margera said...

Someone needs to pop that whitehead on her forehead. Shit is nazty, gurl!

8:01 pm January, 23 Stephanie said...

I hate hippies.

5:06 am January, 24 Guid is Good said...

I don’t normally give fashion advice but if you want to rock the slutty black bra under a transparent white shirt look you might not want to use one of your old maternity bras.

.

And possibly get your roots done too.

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You’re welcome.

6:54 am January, 24 Douchble Helix said...

Yet, that’s outstanding advice!

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