Monday, February 11, 2013

Ask DB1: Economic Recession and Poppin' Bottles

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Dear DB1,

I’ve been wondering if the wretched state of out economy has finally caught up to douchebag culture.

Less and less are we seeing $100 bottle service baggery, we see Ed Hardy tanking as a business.

The jeans de rigueur such as True Religion, Diesel et al with the garish back pockets & button flaps a thing of the past.

Can one surmise that the one good thing to come out of the economic raping of our society has been less dbaggery? or has it just shifted to another subclass?

Yours in mock

ETD?

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When I first began HCwDB, wayyyyy back in 2006 (1912 in human-to-internet years), we were still a nation of credit-card living assmunch.  A heaping collection of head-in-rectus delusional nitwits that thought tilted baseball caps and popped collars looked good and invading Iraq was a swell idea.

A land of moronitude in which image, excess, and primal urges superceded rational thought and critical perspective.

We now live in very different times. Douchebaggery continues strongly, albeit in recoded forms such as herpsterbags and John Mayer. So it is still very much there.  But the credit-card excesses of the mid 2000s are thankfully, washed away, leaving only recession, debt, and economic disaster in their wake.

# posted by douchebag1
3:20 pm February, 11 The Dude said...

Our cheerless leader speaks the truth, for I have noticed a distinct separation of economic classes. You have the rich and the not rich. The douchebag virus was a product of the middle class wishing they were rich. And Grieco. Now, the virus taints former middle class consumers with cheaper shit.

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Witness Donald Trump. He’s still a rich asshole, but now he needs D-list celebs to be contestants on Apprentice because he has downsized his corporations.

3:38 pm February, 11 Scooby Douche said...

Speaking of douche, did anyway see the purple velvet John Mayer wore to the Grammys?

Of course, I’d wear that too if it meant being able to suck on Katy Perry’s tits.

3:39 pm February, 11 Scooby Douche said...

On second thought…Can I say “tits”? Or should I use some softer word, like “boobs”?

4:22 pm February, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

I think back to 2006 and things were good. A solid well paid IT/Telecom position that 15 plus years of experience warranted. Everyone seemed flush, the restaurants, the bars etc; were filled. It was at this point I first really noticed DBaggery. You had your high school educated “Mortgage Brokers” driving brand new Benz’s, the girls shopping till they dropped buying up the latest FMB’s and fashionable denim. Weekend trips to West Palm or Chicago to catch up with that hot FWB. Ski trips out west. Dinners, drinks et al a drop in the bucket.

A lesson I learned many moons prior was to never use credit unless absolutely necessary. Cash is and always will be the best way to go if you don’t have it learn how to earn it as opposed to want/need it. As 2006 faded into 2009 the carnage was evident. The carefree lifestyles gone, the anxiety filled, Xanax fueled days of trying to figure out what went wrong, the alcohol drenched nights trying to forget. Having done the “Right Thing” college, 401K’s, great credit, buying an affordable home I look back and say how did it go wrong? That alone is enough to keep you up at night but the most perplexing of all was watching the rampant baggery around me continue on unabated. It was as if the virus was immune to the economic meltdown. I believe a lot of it was a whistling past the graveyard mentality but I suspect it really a sign of the entitled mindset these tools had that the good times would go on forever. Reality is a cruel a bitch and one that I’ve faced several times. Not much to do but learn from it and grow stronger as for the bag not so much.

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Generic Nyquil is a hell of thing

4:27 pm February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This picture is not approximately as sickening as Kisseus Vomitorious Facebook page. What a homo! Et Tu and DB1 bring a valid socioeconomic view of recession and the decline of douchebaggery. We may be making a dent in the bullshit.

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Living within ones means is a glorious adventure. I’m jammin with a vintage Escalade and a Chevy Venture insured only for liability. Total vehicle worth is zero. Credit card balance always less than a grand. I hate debt.

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When I am elected by my fellow men of the cloth as the replacement for Pope Benedict (respect for taking the fall for Nazi’s and diddlers) I will declare debt illegal and impose Sharia Law (no respect) for the Jews and Thespians. Fuck off Wolf Blitzer and the Grecian Formula beard you rode in on you cocksucker. Fuck you too Soledad you gun hating Irish wench. Son.

5:06 pm February, 11 The Dude said...

Wolf Blitzer is a fucking moron. I only watch him when fully prepared to mock him.

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The CNN chicks are pretty much all reNoBeL inducers, so I give them a pass, by which I mean rub.

5:17 pm February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Catholic matriarch Martha MacCallum awaits with a grundle punch aimed at Rev Chad’s jockeying for the Papal crown. You can’t run for Pope

.

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Everyone knows you gotta win it by cutting the low card. Psheeesh

5:31 pm February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Martha MacCallum’s shins are enough to make a grown Pope cry.

5:40 pm February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mrs. Kroeger and the kids always watch this show on Monday’s before we quickly turn the channel so as not to be accosted by the Guy Fieri. I have a boner by the time the kids go to bathe and I don’t know if you get this Montreal chick down in the red states. She may be annoying but she’s the kind of whore Italian chick we’d all fuck once or five times or more.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Oy8sIN3oow

6:23 pm February, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

True Religion is good quality denim…. err… so I read somewhere. Makes me wonder what would happen if my picture ever surfaced? I admit, probably a light scorching for being a stage 1 hipster, followed by 40 posts of you degenerates cyber macking on my girl, and finally some, time in the wee hours, a one liner from Stephanie hoping I get dismembered by a wheat thrasher. DB1, I request an honorary notta for my contributions to the good fight.

6:59 pm February, 11 creature said...

say it aint so

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/02/11/maker-s-mark-adds-water-lowers-proof-shocks-bourbon-lovers.html

say it aint so!

.

…flippin hipster kooks jumping on my well worn libation bandwagon…gonna punch the next fedora wearin’ skarf sportin 5 o’clock shadow puke who saddles up next to me to ask what I’m sippin’ right in the gizzard!

7:32 pm February, 11 The Dude said...

McCrude@6.23 – DB1 leads the way by addressing himself as douchebag1. We all carry a bit of the virus.

7:39 pm February, 11 hermit said...

Well said ETD. The borrower is a slave to lender.

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Amërïkä owes China 1.2 trillion. (among others) and Washington just keeps on spending.

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We’ll be hauling THEM around in rickshaws soon.

9:03 pm February, 11 The Dude said...

lol hermit – too big to fail!

7:29 am February, 12 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Why is he feeling her up as he gives her a tat? And why did he write “Bigdouchie” on her chest? If he wanted to brand her to keep other guys away why not just put HEP-C+ on her-less ink same result.

7:39 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

That’s KV handling the ink needle. And the circle is complete.

8:52 am February, 12 Dickie Fingers said...

Hey KV- Thay thing on your back is cancer. Go have yourself checked.

8:45 pm February, 12 douche equis said...

I love you, young lady, duck face and all. And I don’t care who knows it.

4:47 am February, 13 Stephanie said...

The douches are not buying the 100 buck t- shirts with glitter and shit on them,they’re tattooing themselves into sideshow freaks,now.

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