Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Surf Gronkowski Is Laid Back with Sophia

hcwdb

Ya know, I was gonna tag a stage-1 due to the chin pubes and herpster hat, but those haciendas are a well groomed garden delight.

So what the hell, have a notta and a goinpeace Surf G. You seem content with yourself, and the obnoxious quotient is low. Shave the chinfung, though. For it is obtuse.

You and Sophia are set free. May your coital escapes be pure and with resonant integrity.

# posted by douchebag1
8:22 am February, 12 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Has the bar been lowered? I won’t argue with DB1. But this guy is one small slip-up from full on douchebagery. I’ll keep my eyes on this one-Who am I kidding, I barely have enough energy to pcik the dog crap out of the back yard let alone keep track of Shaggy.

8:23 am February, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Sophia is actually part Peacock, as that is not a shrubbery behind her, but her tail feathers.

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And he’s a hipster douche with his tats, Fung and colored hair extensions.

8:25 am February, 12 Ferris said...

And now, the dissenting opinion:

Stupid blonde clown wig, or alternatively, bleached surfer-douche-twat hair, plus generic arm tatt means (to paraphrase the great U.S. Customs Agent David Cujon), “you get no immunity from me you piece of sh%t.” Lovely vegetation aside, this bag is a stage 2 invasive species which threatens this particulalrly sensitive environment – the natural habitat of the bikini side-boob hotties. I cannot agree with the DB1 decision to grant leniency.

8:47 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Yo surf. You got a…there’s, umm, on your lip…you got, it’s no, other side, there you g…no, other other side. It’s, on your lip, you got a thing…uhhh, yeah…can you just, just, you know, wipe it off or something…no, your lower lip…lower lip, lowwwwwer li…do you not have any feeling in your face…it’s right there, on your lip…ohmygod he keeps rubbing his nose…it’s there, no I’m not going to touch it are you kidding, right there! There! That’s your chin did I say you had something on your chin no, no I did…never mind, let me get my shovel.

8:49 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Yo, Sophia. You got something covering your boobs there. Good girl.

8:51 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Surf’s other hat has dreadlocks attached to it.

8:52 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Sophia’s other dress has my penis attached to it.

8:53 am February, 12 eyedouche said...

Come on. April fools is a month and a half away. Time challenged? Not partial. Total. Douche. Are you testing us? Garbage can. To the head. Anything to cover that hat.

9:50 am February, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Surf’s got a nice, genuine smile. If he’d just lose the hat. And the stringy hair. And the face fung. Oh yeah, the tattoos. Definitely neeed to get rid of the tattoos. And the lip piercing. And the Herpes.

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I think losing the Herpes will be the easiest thing for him to do.

10:03 am February, 12 The Dude said...

Amish surfers are okay by me. So is Sophie. And by “so is Sophie” I mean I’d like to give her a Smear’n’off.

10:09 am February, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sophie is tastefully augmented girl next door hotness. The type of down to earth girl who needs a gyroscope in her monkeyhole to get over her first date shyness.

10:10 am February, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I’m thinking our beloved leader must have had some sort of nocturnal emmision dream involving MIla Kunis, Trader Joe’s $2 Chuck wine, ho ho’s and an alpaca cause he is being really generous with the “notta, go in peace” today.

10:19 am February, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Sophia has a Bolivia Samsonite vibe working for her. Bolivia of the Peter North facial ropes fame.

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Seriously, check her at Pornhub….

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Of course Peter North is a ‘Nuck

10:37 am February, 12 Douchble Helix said...

That fat guy from “Lost” is too disgusted to even look at these two.

10:48 am February, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

The douche is strong with this one.

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Lip piercing. QEFFIN’D

10:51 am February, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jay Louis is doing a mitzvah?

10:52 am February, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Jackie Mason voice^

11:06 am February, 12 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Featured on Shark Week… Boobie Munching!

12:31 pm February, 12 The Dude said...

Lip piercing?! Gawd I thot that was a mole. He’s either gay, or a complete douchebag disguised as a nice guy with a Forrest Gump hat. Or both, which is too frightening to consider. Trust me, I’ve considered this.

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Douchebag hunters must hark the warning of Roy Scheider in Jaws – “We’re gonna need a bigger boat!”

12:43 pm February, 12 The Dude said...

Vin D’s link is “Frobidden”, which makes my balls tingle with wonderment. Okay, too much cough syrup this morning, I know.

12:47 pm February, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@The Dude, that may not be excitement making the skin on your scrote crawl like a caterpillar on quaaludes. You haven’t been using the hot tub at the Y again, have you?

3:59 am February, 13 Guid is Good said...

Surf Gronkowski never really recovered from not getting the part in Scooby Doo. Jeff Spicoli weeps.

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