Monday, February 18, 2013

Venicio After Dark Smells Like Horse Spittle and Old Spice

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Venicio may resent that his name sounds so much like Benzino, and for that he blames the author of this site, who has recently taken to drowning his creative frustrations in a potent mixture of woodgrain alcohol and olallieberry mead.

But like an idiotic Downton Abbey car crash dictated from upon high by the Gods of Bad Soap Writing, Venicio crashes through the bromides of inane plot convention and onward toward mediocrity.

Camille’s haunting cleavite offers euphoric dreams of sunshine meadows, harpsichordian dancing squirrels, and slavic booble suckle.

# posted by douchebag1
9:30 pm February, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His hair is the same plastic mold my Six Million Dollar Man action figure came with. I was 12 years old. I was so insulted to received it for Christmas, I put it in a bench vice and planed it’s head off. Good fucking times. Son.

10:33 pm February, 18 hermit said...

Venicio is among the 4% of individuals capable of swallowing an olive whole and expelling it through his nose unscathed. Remarkably, he can also pick it up off the floor with his clenched butt cheeks without spilling his drink.

11:01 pm February, 18 Guid is Good said...

Nice mams Ma’am.

12:46 am February, 19 The Dude said...

Camille’s girls look fun. Venicio Metrosecio looks very silly.

1:09 am February, 19 Wheezer said...

Venicio has been tanning for years. He is only 15, but passes for 40.

7:50 am February, 19 Olddog1 said...

She looks like two things, rich and grate fun. Not a usual combination. As for our Italian freind, Venicio, I am not seeing the douch. Perhaps I am distrated by her assests.

8:09 am February, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

I applaud Camille’s haunting cleavite.

8:35 am February, 19 Doctor Magnifico! said...

I beginning to dislike Venicio’s smarmy smile.

8:38 am February, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

Camille’s haunting cleavite are watched pensively during party season from Lake Garda to Portifino to Corsica and beyond. Because coupled with a few downed glasses of pinot grigio they are known at any moment to slip their moorings to the delight of many and the shame of her father.

8:38 am February, 19 Doctor Magnifico! said...

Also, Spock-like hair, too.

2:11 pm February, 19 Tits McGee said...

Is that a hospital wristband on Venicio?

2:16 pm February, 19 DarkSock said...

Venicio? Hell…That’s Tony Bobbins from the Tony Bobbins Let Go Clinic™!
.
Look at his teeth…THEY RULE YOU.

2:18 pm February, 19 DarkSock said...

And I like girls named “Camille”, btw…

5:29 pm February, 19 creature said...

if I behave badly at the Montecito Polo wine tasting, will Camille beat me senseless with those billowing bags of blissful boobery?

.

I would give up illiteration if the answer was yes

.

thesaurians

9:46 pm February, 19 ehcuodouche said...

That can’t be their real hair. It just can’t be.

7:36 pm February, 21 Earl of Sandwich said...

Venicio is an unholy cross between Dick Van Dyke and Ed Helms.

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