Saturday, February 16, 2013

Wallnuts After Dark – What's With This The American Idol Show?

IMG_3708Madonna Mia, what is with this The American Idol show?  

Now I know Mariah Carey from the A.M. radio. I think I got one a dem albums on the 8-track. She’s a real classy dame that I know Frank and the guys woulda loved. Plus she’s got one a them big ole natural racks that you don’t sees too much anymore. Ella Fitzgerald had a set like that, but she was as ugly a dame as there ever was!  Even though she was a real sweetheart and loved to bang like the Dickens. Not Charles Dickens.  Dickens as in those dick gumshoes who used to work the cases that Mickey Cohen didn’t pay off.  

Anways, Ella.  She could sing great, too. Frank really loved Ella.  But as a musician.  Not in a bang kinda way.

So I seen this Nicki Garage, with the pink hair, and I gotta go an find out what she sounds like on her albums. I still haven’t figured out how black dames have blonde hair and straight hair, so the pink hair really trows me off. Na mean?  So I goes to The Google and find out she has some big hits and is a rapper of some sort. Then I went to The iTunes and listened to some a her songs, and I gotta say they was all horse shit.

So this Nicki Garage has a hit song that talks about pissin’ on some other dame. Oofa! How does that make any sense? 

The other guy, who I guess is the star of the show, that Ryan Seachest, is really Finnochy, but in an appealin’ kinda way. Now I don’t know if he goes the other way, and believe you me I ain’t no Finnoch myself, but I wouldn’t blame no other Finnoch for bein’ attracted to this Seachest character. He’s very neat, dresses nice and has cute hair, which in my experience means he’s light in his loafers, if you catch my drift.

# posted by Vin Douchal
2:13 pm February, 16 creature said...

howabout that other skank, Domi LaTwatto? or is that some other crappy show?

3:49 pm February, 16 Vin Douchal said...

To coin a phrase, American Idol “Jumped The Shark” a long time ago. Kris Allen? He’s better than Adam Lambert.? Lambert’s a real Finnoch that belted out show tunes and Queen and rocked that place every time he grabbed the mic and held it like a sauseeej

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Last year a guy named , Phil Phillips , won. He sounded like Tom Waits with a hangover singing Dave Matthews karaoke with a clothespin on his tongue

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American Idol sucks now. IMHO, it happened when Simon Cowell took his acerbic comments somewhere else. I’d listen to Simon Cowell make fun of the Armenian names in the Glendale phonebook. He’s a funny bloke

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Good observation, Mr. Wallnuts

4:25 pm February, 16 The Dude said...

Reality Shows all suck.

6:02 pm February, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This here bloke can blow. Check him out; he’s been around a long time.

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http://www.paulcarrack.net/

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7:02 pm February, 16 Guid is Good said...

Sunil Largeman is obviously a Deathtongue fan.

7:06 pm February, 16 The Dude said...

Oh yeah, more A+ writing up there, DW!

7:06 pm February, 16 JG said...

I seem to remember Mariah’s chest growing rapidly over a coupla seasons with each new album. Vast talent, big ego, five octaves, all that, inspired a lotta little girls, but definitely enhanced.

7:45 pm February, 16 hermit said...

The current so-called “Reality Show” genre is nothing more than cheaply-produced, contrived garbage. The networks know that the Amërîkan public has been collectively dumbed down to the point that we’ll happily gobble up any pig swill set before us.

The only true, un-rehearsed “reality show” is COPS and it is f#@kin’ awesome!

It gives the viewer a first hand look at both the Urban Ghetto lifestyle and Restate Amërîkæ’s Trailer Park, white trash subculture. Any given episode you’ll see high-speed car wrecks, police dogs biting dudes and drunks getting tazed. You always come away knowing you’ve been truly entertained .

8:25 pm February, 16 creature said...

dunno hermit…aint no “hot tub time machine”

9:29 pm February, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck. All the time i was drunk and stoned since Carter fucked up the Iran shit I thought everything on TV was real except for Days Of Our Lives and Peter Jennings (BBHN). Now that I’ve been sober for a week I come to find that the only real thing on TV is that Stephano has really tried to destroy the Brady family all these times is unfuckingbelievable and Jennings is dead without me giving him my propers (respect).

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This evening as I returned from my brisk walk down the lonely country road in the still chilly but ayight winter of the Mighty St. Lawrence River Valley. I realized that I may be Ok with sober. Finally set up my drums the wife bought a few winters back around this time, tuned em tight. Grooved out a few shaky tunes but actually had fun without ingestable amusements. I may remain sober my friends. I realized that I have spent about a quarter

million bucks on beer, booze, drugs, cigarettes, pharmaceuticals, porn, skateboards, and whores over the years and if that money was compounded at a realistic rate it would be worth twice that much if calculated as a future value to now.

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Lost so much weight from skipping the 150 beers a week and not getting the munchies I can see my abs, like a douchebag but I won’t post pictures cause as we know that is ghey like Ryan Seachest. I’m so confused now that I have passed the DT’s. I’m exercising and eating right and taking vitamins and remembering to take my meds. All of this of course is due to my imminent blood, sweat, and urine tests cause if I fail I gotta go for a year of randoms with no license.The Mrs. will be furious if I have to hire Lenny as at driver, he needs some legit income ya know. My BP is dropping too, fuck. I think I may just try a few beers and doobies and take it from there. Son.

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Ain’t no flies on Paul Carrack DW. What would you do in my situation Douchey. Sober up or ride the roads with a few road pops and Lenny The Box. And should I stop seeing the high-class teen broads who like the schwantz wiped in their troat. Troat is says.

10:23 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

I’m holding out for “OW – MY BALLS!”.

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It was foretold. But unlike jet packs, it’s gonna happen.

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The first time I tried pâté at a fancy soirée I quickly realized it was simply potted meat for rich folks.

11:33 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big it seats seven.

11:34 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big that asteroid passed closer to it than the earth.

11:34 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big it has its own hip joints.

11:35 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big its sperm are life-sized replicas of John Goodman.

11:36 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s schwantz is so big she wipes it on the eastern seaboard.

11:37 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big it farts when she loses consciousness.

11:39 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big it has credits in 347 Hollywood movies simply because it can be seen in the background.

11:40 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big NASA hires her to lie on her back and achieve erection so a suited NFL linebacker can boot satellites into low orbit off the tip.

11:41 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big her fluffer is a cement truck.

11:42 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big you can find it using Apple Maps

11:42 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big its sweat pores are vaginas.

11:43 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big Lenny The Box has to feed it Mexican Viagra with a potato canon.

11:44 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big the Federal Trade Commission is afraid to prosecute it.

11:48 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big the Coen brothers originally named their film “O Brother Where Art HOLY SHIT IS THAT A GIANT DICK ON THAT FAT WOMAN?!?”

11:48 pm February, 16 DarkSock said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk is so big she has to shit outdoors.

4:15 am February, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Brothers, nothing is greater than coming home from a neighborhood poker game at 3:45 AM and reading Darksock’s riffs while woozy from Crown Royal and Opus X cigars.

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Classic and awesome work Mr Sock

5:26 am February, 17 hermit said...

Kathleen Turner’s cock is so big she fucks canyons.

5:27 am February, 17 hermit said...

I got nothing.

5:27 am February, 17 hermit said...

Cement truck as fluffer ftw.

6:33 am February, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kathleen Turner once said, “if there is a man who doesn’t look at me, it’s because he’s gay.” Just so I’m on record here, I’m coming out of the closet. Believe me, no one is more surprised than me.

7:08 am February, 17 The Dude said...

Kathleen Turner’s cockk plays in the NBA.

8:40 am February, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Rev. Chad is dead to me.

9:55 am February, 17 DarkSock said...

Rev. Chad’s Liver is dead to him.

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Cirrhosis San

11:54 am February, 17 creature said...

kathleen turner’s cockk is so big king komg once climbed it

11:56 am February, 17 creature said...

kathleen turner’s cockk is so big it cums tsunamis

8:24 pm February, 17 Bag Margera said...

Kathleen Turner can make this bitch cum in 6 minutes flat.



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