Friday, March 29, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

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If prom night in Long Island is ever held at a dental convention, it might look a little… something… like this.

So your humble narrator, while hardly a “gamer” in any sense of the word, has been known to occasionally slip into xBox-land every year or so for a solid month of brain numbing retreat and coma-inducing flickering of pixel hypnosis.

That year is this week. Wait, what?

Yes, I am one of the masses attuned to BioShock. The first game offered breakthrough in multimedia storytelling technique mixed with pop-art the likes of which are rarely seen in any medium. Its mixture of game play, fantasy, literature, nostalgia, storytelling, and groundbreaking taboo violation can only be called art.

While I am barely into the game, BioShock: Infinite will inevitably disappoint. One can only have their mind blown by a new form of art once. Repetition, and nearly all games are ultimately repetitive redundancies gussied up in fancy new clothing, is inevitable.

Still, it’s nice to see hundreds of millions of dollars committed to a real vision, while cinema continues to bleed genericism from every crappy action pore. Star Trek has been generified, reduced to awful one liners and standard Michael Bay cityscape explosion porn. And now Disney and JJ Abrams are out to castrate whatever originality is left in the decaying Star Wars corpse. Movies are as devoid of life and originality as a Fembot 3000.

Games may be our only hope.

Here’s your links:

You know you want it.

If you ever doubt the potential for majesty and grace in the human race, doubt no more. And yes, I know it’s a commercial in the end, but who cares.

Burningbags.

The genius of Steve Martin in silent form: The Great Flydini.

Floridian Frauxhawk Pudwack starts paper towel fire, flees on skateboard, gets arrested.

Douchebag Limousines!

And just when you thought douche culture was winding down… I give you meggings. Yep. Male leggings.

Need a new blog to follow? Angry people in local newspapers. Enjoy this while the concept of local newspapers still exists.

Douches at music festivals. That title may be redundant.

Hoo-ah!!

Pear? Pear, you say?

YouTube La Plante.

Or perhaps, Peartopia on Facebook.

Okay, here’s your Pear with a bit of douche on the site:

Asspear and the Largeman Twins

All that is spandex in a spandex universe.

# posted by douchebag1
12:52 pm March, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Floridian Frauxhawk Pudwack

.

Crestview is in the panhandle, so he’s a rednecked Frauxhawk Pudwack.

.

As for the hott pictured above, I’d hit her. So hard as to knock that god-awful dress into the next county. Or onto Jesus Bling Douche, as he might be able to wear it better and look fabulous IYKWIMAITTYD.

1:22 pm March, 29 creature said...

….fenny youtube vid needs to be overdubbed w vin’s ‘asspear la plante’

.

gawkers

1:44 pm March, 29 Rev Chad on new device said...

Adam Levine is such a fag the fags think he’s a fag. I might wear leggings under ski pants or to a summer festival if they had a built in codpiece…and shit. This working for living is making me morose. Sons.

8:11 pm March, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I peed in a sequined dress once.

8:15 pm March, 29 DarkSock said...

Pictures or get the fuck out, DW.
.
And where the hell did Crucial go?
.
And Baron Von Goolo?
.
And that Medusa chick?
.
I’m takin’ over Monday for another bender…
blweeeeeee!

9:07 pm March, 29 Rev Chad on new device said...

^And Wedgie.

.

And Mr. White.

.

And Dr. Bunsen

.

I’mma gonna stop working and smoke dope till I pass out. Stay classy, Son. And thank you Al Gore for inventing wifi, wireless printers, and the synching of Apple products, cause now I can work in my raggedy gotch while whilst drunk and shit.

8:42 am March, 30 Sir Douche said...

Cheers!

9:03 am March, 30 DarkSock said...


.
Her frantic mind afire with disbelief, Lois felt her bowels release a second before they struck the pavement at Mach 3. Her head snapped back upon impact – but she felt nothing, her brain evaporating as her tissues and bones were instantly pulverized, the viscera and calcium shards mingling with the fabric of her clothes. The force blew the two children across the road, their bodies strewn like rag dolls.
.
An hour later. three miles beneath the earth, Superman awoke. He felt the familiar ache in his head, smelled the liquor on his breath. Ahhh, godalmighty. I blacked out again. What have I done this time. Dear God, what have I done.
.
-lileks.com

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