Monday, March 25, 2013

Happy Passover!!

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HC1 and I will be celebrating our ancestral tradition by asking the four questions. I might even sing her a song.

To my fellow Hebraics, enjoy your seder, and may all your jelly rings be chocolate. To the Christians among us who ask “what is Passover?” it’s like Easter. Only with less Jesus and more guilt.

# posted by douchebag1
3:46 pm March, 25 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Happy Passover DB1, to you and your chosen tribe.

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.And by “chosen tribe” I mean the phalanx of ‘baghunters who hate all douchebags – separately but equally.

4:09 pm March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This guy just killed the renoB I achieved courtesy of one Sancler Frantz, a Brazilian model the pleasure of whose acquaintance I met thanks to a link Vin posted in the last thread.

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Speaking of Pesach, I once got a hot Jew dame all boozed up on some nice Mogen David Cream White Concorde and we had a fine time playing hide the Afikoman. And by that I mean I gave her a rimming that only could be topped by a higher authority.

4:54 pm March, 25 Scooby Douche said...

As a Christian I would bang the hell out of the suckle thigh and then just ask for forgiveness. From Him, not her….

No guilt.

5:17 pm March, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Wait, wait! I was going to take my sample to the lab for test… oh, nevermind.

5:24 pm March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I have found that Hebrew broads get damp, especially during their holidays, if you ply them with Manischewitz kosher products, such as Matzo and kosher wine.

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I favored a combo of Spelt Matzo, Garlic Tam Tam Crackers and Manny Sweet Concord Wine. There’s something about cheap ass wine made from labrusca grapes that gets young Jewesses all hot and bothered down below. Hot and bothered down below, I says.

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Once during a Kiddush ritual where they was servin’ the Manny wine, I got this this J broad so amped up she was grabbin’ at my schwantz and ready to violate all a the 39 forbidden activities and make up some new ones a her own to violate. All I knows is I smelled like challah and white fish spread for days.

6:06 pm March, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

With this ‘bag, I was thinking more ‘runover’ than ‘passover’.

God, its like he had a horrific header into the press when they were printing the Sunday comics!?

6:08 pm March, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

HC1 does indeed get my motor humming.

7:56 pm March, 25 The Dude said...

If I go completely bald, I’m gonna get me a tattoo of hair.

7:56 pm March, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Today I learned to never click on a Pesach link from Jacques.

8:12 pm March, 25 DarkSock said...

That is a rather large chalice o’ iced urine.

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I saw Iced Urine at the New Orleans House of Blues last year; they opened for local band GoatWhore.

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Pissers.

8:48 pm March, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I was asked four Hebraic questions tonight:

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1) “Are we in Montreal yet ya schnorrer, or are you just trying to,…oooooooh..there’s Gucci. When can I buy my BMW?” I answered,.. “Never bitch! Do you like me driving again, cause I’ll put ya somewhere the kids will never find you in this fucking port ya bitch!”

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2)”How much can we spend for suppa’.” I answered “…as much of your recent earned income as you can chew without chewing ya cochionne ( adj. whore, slut, in Quebec)

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3) “Where the fuck are the kids?” I answered…”..you drunk bitch can you just stay awake until this Heart concert is over and you know the kids and dog are at my parent’s house and we have to leave early to get us to work.”

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4) “What are you smiling for and why are you holding that lamp…….” I answered….” Happy fucking honeymoon alone in Montreal baby, have a great, long, sleep, I’m going out. Son”

9:14 pm March, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have doubts this Seder midnight that my Catholic parents made latkes and gafilta for my kids. More strong though are my feelings that James Franco is as overrated a fag as Jimmy (I steal my stuff from the new awful go-to Jew on SNL’s material) Fallon. Which brings me to remember that those two are homophobes always sucking the homo out of each others no talent skin envelope, as gay lesbian dogs and butterflies learn to find cursed unnatural behavior as another beast with exposed skin I eat my sleepy pill..and dood,, and shit, Son.

11:35 pm March, 25 The Dude said...

I peed in a chalice once. Actually twice.

5:52 am March, 26 Dickie Fingers said...

This guys neck tat says he’s “hard as nails”. Maybe I could loosen him up a little with my titanium Stiletto hammer.

6:25 am March, 26 DarkSock said...

Clavicle tatt should read “Dumb As Rocks”

6:32 am March, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Rev’s Montreal story reminds me of the time I was pins deep in a comely Jewess on Yontif who was a real screamer. She tried tellin me that all forms of Halacha was prohibited durin this time, but I said fuck it and banged her silly. She was yellin so loud she drown out the rabbi blowin the shofar. Blowin’ the Shofar, I says…

7:05 am March, 26 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I will passover him and head straight for her. If I where the Angel of Death, I’d strike him down. Perhaps I’ll just pour some Axe in his drink, and hope for the best?

7:54 am March, 26 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

I get dibbs on the bitter herbs and the goat bone-No hard boiled egg for me- gives me gas- Love the matzah- I but some nice hard salami and a pungent cheese on it- damn that’s a good cracker. And those Jewish dames-they keep worrying about what their mother would say, but boy they sure know how to dance the Horah. Like this one time, she lifts up her over the knee skirt and bends over. As I’m almost there I start saying “Oh Jesus” like you are supposed to say-you know three or four times- especially during oral to give them a warning. But this time she takes some kind of offense to the whole deal and ends it right there. I’m left on the verge and she is saying something about take you, your tiny pecker and your religion home. I get the tiny pecker thing, but I’m Buddhist.

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