Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I Dreamed of a Cloud…

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And the cloud spoke to me…

“What up?” it said with a whispered gust.

“Is that you, Cloud?” I responded pensively, with a noted lack of trust.

“S’wat I said, bitch!” the cloud replied and shook it’s mighty swole.

“Look, you’re lucky I’m even posting your sorry ass!”, I responded, for without Pear, this pic was not whole.

And the mighty cloud thundered with gay-ass dazzle…

It quivered like jello, then fondled its azzle….

“Tell me, Cloud, how is it, to float up on high? Do you grow like a daisy, in a cow patty pie?”

I didn’t know why I was talking like that, in a falsetto sing-song voice. Perhaps I saw it in a film directed by Philip Noyce.

“Cloud, does it make you happy, by the by? Do you feel you can touch the sky? Please do tell me, Cloud up high!”

“Shel Silverstein can suck my jabrone! Poetry is for pussies and wussies and Joey Fatone!”

And so the cloud fondled its ballsack and cried.

For its ballsack was shriveled and wrinkly and dried.

# posted by douchebag1
4:13 pm March, 12 creature said...

I could truly get behind cloud pear!

4:31 pm March, 12 bigphatnotadouche said...

Implants on dudes suck.

gynos

5:21 pm March, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Could be worse.

5:22 pm March, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

much worse.

5:26 pm March, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Much, much worse.

5:29 pm March, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Okay, I honestly don’t know how to feel about this one.

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I really am quite conflicted here.

5:32 pm March, 12 DixieRecht said...

Saddest part? This jerkoff is proud of himself.

5:48 pm March, 12 Ted Brogan said...
5:52 pm March, 12 Ted Brogan said...

Jaques: It’s a trap!

7:49 pm March, 12 Vin Douchal said...

That was beautiful. Reminds me of Mojo Nixon’s “Tie My Pecker To My Leg”

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Goes like this:

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Me your momma and some other whore

Floating down the river on a shithouse door

Gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg

Gonna tie my pecker to my leg

7:59 pm March, 12 BoPeep said...

How much does synthol cost when you buy it by the drum?

8:56 pm March, 12 Duck Duck Douche said...

There was a point in the past when this sort of spectacle would be shocking and repulsive.

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Today, this is what you see walking through Wal*Mart.

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Civilization as we know it has died.

8:57 pm March, 12 Duck Duck Douche said...

And don’t knock floating down the river on a shithouse door until you’ve tried floating down the river on a shithouse door.

9:00 pm March, 12 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Holy Fucking Shit!

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.

.

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.Some things you can never un-see….like a giant turd I saw floating in a toilet when I was like, 10 years old….and this guy.

9:27 pm March, 12 Stephanie said...

Again,how do these puffed up things wipe their ass? Wrap toilet paper onto a back scratch-er? I’ll bet they smell like shit all of the time…

12:05 am March, 13 hermit said...

This unholy spectacle is such an abomination that the very eyes of Lucifer can be seen peering out from behind those demonic breasts, like simmering urns of radioactive hatred, ready to unleash their caustic brand of death upon all which is wholesome, pure and without blemish.

5:51 am March, 13 I R A Darth Aggie said...

He must be sad, having a nut sack the size of a pistachio.

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I’m pretty sure that Lucifer looks upon this douche, and despairs.

6:01 am March, 13 DarkSock said...

Once you train the navel to elongate and are liberal with the shea butter, slipping those honeydew melons under the dermis is a snap.

12:19 pm March, 13 Like said...

This guy can’t possibly be THAT ripped. Is this for real? This has got to be photoshopped or some equivalent. Implants? Holy Crap! He obviously should start digging his own grave. with all of the roids he’s done, he’s gonna need it.

11:37 pm March, 13 Tits McGee said...

Gimme a pin so I can pop his moobs.

3:13 pm March, 14 schlicht bindenburger said...

@ JD…..you get in there, you’re gonna wish you were’nt!

11:18 pm March, 14 Scroteophobic said...

Not one of you is thinking that if you just chugged a few beers, closed your eyes and went for the motorboat you’d probably have a no-worse-than-normal Saturday night with this thing? Honestly?

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