Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Vortex of Suckage That Is A Los Angeles Herpster BBQ

69

Kelly’s accidental run-in with notorious Silverlake DJs Scrabblex and Parcheesix did not end well when her boobs decided to recoil in horror and her vageen donned sunglasses in the hopes that none of the other vageens would recognize her at the next Vageenas Anonymous meeting.

Yup. Stop making sense. And you may ask yourself, why does the DB1 need a coffee? And you may say to yourself, this is not my beautiful sheboyyyyyygen.

Jerry Lewis.

# posted by douchebag1
2:27 pm March, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Home Depot’s foray into the breast enhancement and tattoo business looks like a bad idea.

2:33 pm March, 27 Ted Brogan said...

Worst boobjob ever.

2:34 pm March, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Is that Carrot Top with a blond wig and really bad implants ?

2:35 pm March, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The tattoo on the Asian guy’s back reads,” My Other Tattoo is Worse.”

2:38 pm March, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Is this a poster for Planned Parenthood’s new pro abortion campaign ?

2:40 pm March, 27 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Not everything you buy in Tijuana is worth the money you save.

3:04 pm March, 27 Wheezer said...

Either her boobs or their farts sound like this.

.

I’ll bet your dogs just came running to you, didn’t they?

3:15 pm March, 27 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Is that a dent on her right breasticle?

.

Or is it just a convenient receptacle for my man mustard?

.

.Either way, she deserves to get her $50 back for the augmentation.

.

.

3:16 pm March, 27 bigphatnotadouche said...

Bet she used a coupon for the boob job.

and shit

3:24 pm March, 27 creature said...

tattoos & boobjobs best results occur if gotten whilst sober…whilst I sez

.

enhancers

3:25 pm March, 27 creature said...

…it’s a shadow from her nose

.

cyranos

4:19 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

With a shrill *POP!* Olga’s butt plug caromed off the concrete and into the desert air, leaving behind a steady saline discharge from the gaping maw of her prolapsed asshole.

4:22 pm March, 27 Tits McGee said...

Thank God for Crucial

4:31 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Thank Lämp for Jay Louis.

.

And Plinky’s mom.

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And my beloved asbestos flaygon.

.

Thigh rapers.

5:39 pm March, 27 hermit said...

By the age of fourteen Kelly realized her breasts were destined to be undersized , droopy and unremarkable. She figured her problems were over when she read the flyer in the window of Uncle Rico’s van.

.

Now, sixty-five dollars and four cans of Fix-a-Flat later, she realizes her life took a turn for the worse, ’cause now she’s stuck with misshapen tits and these boobs.

5:54 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m glad I’m a quazi-professional. Sounds like it sucks to be an architect. Dark Sock done married and divorced three chicks two times? And as resident DJ I honour crucial Head’s pain Canadianianly? with the one and only Asbestos flaygon straight from the DMZ gulag.

.

5:58 pm March, 27 DixieRecht said...

Looks like two fudge packers and a tranny.

.

.

Maybe it’s just me….

6:17 pm March, 27 hermit said...

Crucial Head is a national treasure.

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Her malformed boob is actually a blessing, it draws attention away from her face.

6:46 pm March, 27 The Dude said...

Wheezer, that was a gas!

6:46 pm March, 27 Scooby Douche said...

I think I sprained my neck whilst recoiling in horror at this pic.

Thank God for Obamacare……

7:25 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Is her right tit flexing? Is it asking the left boob “Bra, do you even lift?”

.

Cuz it don’t.

7:25 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Luncheon meat as a breast implant was a poor choice.

7:26 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy she lactates buttermilk.

7:26 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy she fills her bra with gravel to smooth it out.

7:26 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy her nipples look like Marty Feldman’s eyes.
son

7:29 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy you don’t motor-boat them, you white-water raft them.

7:29 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy she can’t jog in a straight line

7:30 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy if you tit-fuck her you get splinters

7:31 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy her body lotion is Bond-O™

7:33 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy this is what happened to her son after breast feeding
raisin son

7:34 pm March, 27 frito said...

Plastic surgeons are even getting sick of having to use Groupon, and it’s starting to show.

7:40 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy when she goes topless it looks like Mother Theresa french-kissing Eudora Welty

7:41 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Why you don’t use a plastic surgeon with Parkinson’s

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Yeah…goin’ to Hell for that ‘un.

.

And shit.

.

Son

7:43 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy when she jogs it sounds like someone holding an empty coke bottle out of a speeding car’s window.

7:43 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her boobs are so lumpy when she has to shower upside down.

.

.

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I don’t understand that one either.

7:44 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

test from canada..and shit. Son.

7:47 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Do you dude’s have Good Friday off as a holiday?

.

And

7:53 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Meanwhile, in other news, liberwhore Chris Jansing cooks pasta and wears man-watches.
sdfa
But she has smooth teatays. As does conserviwhore Fox shill Megyn Kelly.
big ol bush
And Bill O’Reilly
manteats
And Stephen Colbert
q
And since we’re talking about fake journalists, Olivia Munn, who apparently shaves her bush and fawks like a rabbit:
dafs

8:00 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her boobs are so lumpy she grates cheese and does her laundry on them.

8:01 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dark Sock is loaded cause I understand what he said short moments ago on his velveteen ipad then I realized his train of thought is thin. Would he verily be unsmurching son that is not the philosopher with the red hair not be in the same situation as the one on the other sise of ze mountain. Son. And Passover and shit from a Catholic goat stir fire with foreskins. Awesome Montreal dish. I’m stoooooooooned Easter Fans. Fuck you this year Seder(respect)! Mensches

8:02 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her boobs are so lumpy a blind man can read the Illiad, Odyssey and a George F. Will column on them.

8:02 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her teats are so lumpy she lactates chocolate and vanilla cocaine swirls.

8:03 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her tits are so lumpy Alpine skiers use them for a test run prior to the winter Olympics.

8:03 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her tits are so lumpy they bring all the Heffalumps to the yard.

8:04 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

What Reverend said.
.
Um…What did Reverend just say?
.asfddfsaafsd

8:05 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her tits are so lumpy she lactates raisins. They shoot across the room, like angry black flicked boogers.

8:06 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her tits are so lumpy when she sleeps on her stomach it creates a baas relief of Plinky’s Mom’s Labia Major on the bedsheets.

8:06 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her tits are so lumpy they have fingernails.

8:07 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

I believe the RevChad just read the first chapter of the Narnia Chronicles in the Old Testament… King James version… not the Koran version. Or Korean. North or South.

.

Civil Warriors.

8:07 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her tits are so lumpy mountain goats frolic uponst them. To and fro. Son.

8:09 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mommy?

8:10 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her titties are so lumpy when she lays down she passes ADA path of travel code for all paths adjacent a vehicular path of travel.

8:10 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her tits are so lumpy me and Crucial now have time away from stern wife eyes to spew forth non sequiturs. And occasionally mons (pubis) sequiturs.
baters
‘baters
10 points to Gryffindor to the one who can spot Frank Mercurio sticking out because he was shoved in too far.
fsda

8:12 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

trick question. No such thing as “too far”

8:13 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her titties are so lumpy she spackles them with cellulite

8:17 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her teats are so lumpy if you run a record needle down them it plays Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s “Pleut à Mourir”.

.

In sign language.

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Turntableists.

8:18 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I get it!

.

You divorced guys have a pal in Reverend Chad. Nice seeing ya Crucial. Mrs. Kroeger just told me to get to sleep, the cunt. Questions answered as allowable by time. Son.

8:19 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Her tits are so lumpy it sounds like a toddler on speed frantically popping bubble wrap when she rolls over in bed.

8:21 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

Will you be my AA Sponsor Rev?

.

I need someone to score me a 30 day chip so’s I can show the judge.

.

Addicts.

8:23 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

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Courage to to change the things I can.

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And wisdom to know the Jon Hamm’s penis.

.

Amen.

8:24 pm March, 27 Crucial Head said...

I hope none of you are picturing the Jon Hamm’s penis RIGHT NOW!

8:32 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Since the gay marriage thing is in the news, allow me to pontificate.

.

The challenge of gay male marriage is that there’s zero boobs. Unless you’re with Ron Jeremy. But because of the butthole prodding I don’t think that’s a viable option.

.

Oh, I suppose balls are like miniature boobs, sure. But they’re hairy, and have no nipples. Usually.

.

On the other hand, lesbian couples counterbalance this with double boobage. And Mons Pubii. And they have twice the butthole.

.

Well, I guess the gay guy couples have dual buttholes, but female buttholes are sexy. Because girls don’t poop. Except Plinky’s Mom, who of course poops whole meat loafs and turduckens.

.

Shunting your cockk into a poop shoot is gay, unless it’s a female poopless chute. Medical FACT.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

What were we talking about?

.

fuggit, off to RedTube with me.

8:34 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

One of my friends said he won’t go down on girls because he things they pee out of their tooterbugs.
.
What a dumbass. How can that be true? Girls don’t have pee-pees. Duh.
.
Squirters.

8:35 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her titties are so lumpy they have 17 mons pubii

8:35 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Her titties are so lumpy when she has a seizure they fart in tandem.

8:36 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

I’d hit it though.

.

Divorcees.

9:08 pm March, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have been a tragic AA sponsor in the past. I just say fuck you and wake up the next day no matter how bad I feel to a version of nice and my briefcase full of blues. My case which also holds a change of garments, holds the nother-world muther fucker of a world of some hope. And then I look to my filthy female children and hope that I get to show their boyfriends a shotgun and a good case of Blue Waffles before he touches what her da-da did before changing her crAp when she was one and before da-da got the Blueggos and entered the first bad stage of depression like right know, like a guy

9:38 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

Satchel.

.

that is a silly ass word.

.

.

say it.

.

.

“Satchel”

.

.

SATCHEL

.

.

i am in opposition to that word. It doesn’t even SOUND like a real word. Who fuccen even USES it?

.

.

.

Satchels.

9:56 pm March, 27 Guid is Good said...

Mangled tittays make me sad.

9:58 pm March, 27 creature said...

I ask lady friends to gently toss my satchel in their moutheses

.

skin sacs

10:01 pm March, 27 creature said...

her breast are so lumpy phrenologist use them as a rosetta stone

.

.wha?

10:02 pm March, 27 creature said...

her tits are so lumpy the feel like leather satchels filled with 5 oz ball bearings

10:04 pm March, 27 creature said...

her tits are so lumpy midgets ride atv’s on them

10:08 pm March, 27 creature said...

her tits are so lumpy you can only piston fuck them with a cork screw

10:23 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

her tits are so lumpy they’re used to train oatmeal

10:24 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

her tits are so lumpy they’re walnuts, not chestnuts

10:24 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

her tits are so lumpy they’re boobceps

10:25 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

her tits are so lumpy she has to self-examine for lumps with ice tongs

10:25 pm March, 27 DarkSock said...

her tits are so lumpy they rattle

1:24 pm March, 29 Stephanie said...

Her tits are so lumpy she can play mini golf on them.

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