Saturday, April 6, 2013

Are you not entertained?

blow-out

And in spite of continued National Revulsion at the Jersey Shore clowns…the shorties still flock to Fecal Giblets like Pauly D, who has leveraged his stint on that video tool shed into and endless series of button-pushing gigs playing shite music off of his iPhone. This is why we fight.

Discuss.

Okay…we also fight for this.

And this.

And this.

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:46 am April, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Black Bikini Hott has a Gummy Worm for a spine.

7:42 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

We must always fight for Pear…..

8:45 am April, 6 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Vegas casinos now pay these button-pushing, no talent ass-clowns MILLIONS to stand on a stage for four hours yelling things like “Yo Vegas!” and “I fucked your sister!” (such wit!). Yet, the twenty and thirty-somethings continue to flock to, and make celebs of, people who couldn’t find middle C on a keyboard (hint: it’s right in the middle).

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Master Sphincter (the Old Choad’s DJ handle) considers the whole EDM and DJ phenomenon to be an even worse bane on society than the standard issue pudwacks and losers who populate this site. (He refers, of course, to the pictures, NOT the commenters — excepting of course, Rev. Chad on a bender.)

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.Bill Maher and Clive Davis (two dudes who, despite their age, know a thing or two about music) recently wondered when talent was going to return to the music business. Maher – and the Old Choad when he’s in a bad mood – like to blame it on the stupidity of kids. But kids have always been stupid.

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.No, the fault lies with the drugs they’re taking. When you’re stoned , you actually want to hear music, e.g. pleasant sounds with things like melodies, riffs, fills and lyrics. When ecstasy, coke, meth and assorted other speedy things are in your system, it’s the thumpity-thump-thump things that hold your (very fleeting) attention. (On this subject, despite more than a passing acquaintance with various controlled substances, we shall defer to Rev. Chad – a man among boys when it comes to intoxicants)

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.The point is, this lemming-like race to the bottom won’t come to an end until pot is legal, and we all start mellowing out, instead of getting wired to the gills.

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.Spinners

8:47 am April, 6 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Speaking of spinners, little Pinky there has some nice headlights on that there chassis of hers.

9:40 am April, 6 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I was recently in Vegas and was graced by the button pushing talents of DJ Earwaxxx! His quick wit had the crowd captivated! He wowed us with such zingers as “It’s a pussy blow out in here!” and “If you aren’t doing shots get the fuck out’d the club!” and the classic “Where the drunk bitches at?” Anyhow isn’t that the dude that use to make a living going around and lifting his shirt to show off his abs? You know I recently read in a medical journal that men who lift their shirts like that are 115% more likely to cum on themselves then rub it around.

10:42 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

When I was a party dude, which I never really was but the party always seemed to follow me, we only did booze, canniboids, mescaline, and coke. These kids are hopped up on some shit that keeps them going on a combination of Drain-O and antihistimines shaken up into a heart racing, teeth destroying mess of club kid energy chased by Red Bull and such. I was a DJ for weddings, proms, and shit when I was in high school. This celebrity DJ shit is bullshit. I’d scratch the fuck out of them DJ bads yo.,

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There were no ab reveals and scantily clad ho-bags. We just had fun. And if you were the most popular genius druggy loved by all for humour, strength of character, ridiculousness, and generous spirit, it did mot matter if one was 5′-6″ like me, you got baskets of poon. Maybe it was my reputation for having a Jesus-sized cock.

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But I must look at these new narcisstic young adults. There is a partner in the company I work for who is 40 and miserable. I may be an old wreck, but he has agreed to go out to slutville with me. He is a bit douche, perfect hair and teeth, dressed to the nines every day in the office blech. He is devoid of personality so I’m gonna be his wingman and find him some narcissist pootytang while

i coddle the beta girl she’s with and tell her I’d bone her if

i wasn’t married. So girl two is happy to feel good and urges alpha chick to fuck younger beta man thinking he’s the alpha while he is simply my project. I go home and everybody left happy. But I might fuck beta girk if she’s drunk enough and bo one sees us leave or in the back of her minivan cause she’s a single mother who just needs hard anal once in a while cause she works two jobs. I forgot was I was taliking about but it something to do with modern drugs stated by CTDS. Ans sjhit, Son. Fuch I’m stoined. Man

11:29 am April, 6 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

What Rev Chad said.

12:41 pm April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

@ CTDS

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I’ve put decades in playing guitar/keys and completely understand the club music trend. It started with hip hop, a form of expression that requires no musical skill, just swagger. These DJs grew up listening to the thump and decided it was music, decided it was good.

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One thing they all have in common is computer skills. You can get a program and hunt and peck your way to beats and chord changes. This doesn’t mean you know your “Circle of Fifths” nor how to write lyrics to a 1-2-4-5 progression nor what a Major 7th is but it doesn’t mean you can’t entertain people

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Change happens , especially in pop (poop) culture. Brittney, Gaga, Chris Brown, Rihanna all would have been laughed out of Mowtown in the 60-70’s. There ain’t a one of them that can sing like Smokey, move like the Jacksons or even modern day dudes like Fitz and The Tantrums paired up with the genius Darryl Hall

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It’s here to stay , until at least the next POS comes down the pike. Maybe It will include actual musical instruments

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Other than the breakout enigma like Jack White, the only place left for good original music is Outlaw or Alt-Country. Verse/Chorus/Guitar Solo/ repeat

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Mother Trucker

2:10 pm April, 6 hermit said...

^ Word

5:03 pm April, 6 creature said...

^Phrase

5:31 pm April, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Whattsamatter? The Early Bird Special run outta meatloaf?

5:34 pm April, 6 Douchble Helix said...

btw – Helix got popped a couple weeks ago. 9 flowering plants. Olive oil infused via the crock pot.

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The indictment calls it 2,300 grams of HASH OIL (3 quarts), so I gotta get those 11 years mandatory charges tossed.

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It’s all good.

9:19 am April, 7 Sir Douche said...

^^^^ oh my!

9:20 am April, 7 The Dude said...

DJs who play 45 min long pre-mixed CDs and pretend to spin, scratch and whatever other b.s. are autodouche. They could look like investment bankers, which they are in a way, but they need to be flushed.

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Societal Laxatives™

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