Sunday, April 14, 2013
Celebrity HCwDB: Avery Levine Tells Peter O'Toole About Marrying the Nickelbag
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In a related story… wait, nothing is related to this tripe.
I apologize for posting this, but for matching HCwDB Douche Tattoo stories, it is relevant to the thematic point of this blog. And therefore we must witness Avery Levine.
Avril was raised in Napanee, which is basically, the middle of nowhere, and she’s still a bit of a ditzy small town girl at heart, which is nice, actually. However, I think her music sucks, and her fiance’s music sucks. Together they will clutter the air with years of sonic suckage. If they have babies, the babies will grow up to continue the production of suckage. We are not better for this.
Avril Lavigne has three things going for her:
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A voice that pains me like the time I fell into Lake Kapuskasing in the fall and almost drowned only to kick my rubber boots and pants off to save myself and leave the frigid sub-arctic lake water by climbing a rusty scow onto shore with my then bleeding unusually large 7 year-old penis covered in leeches. Then beaten for fishing alone and put into an oven naked to warm up surrounded by my extended family of aunts and female cousins.
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She can be used as an absorbent mop.
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She is just tiny enough for some spite fucking. And..Shit,
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Chads
And if the worst thing ever said about the droll and homely Chelsea Lately is that she looks like Peter O’Toole, she’s lucky. And Peter O’Toole wakes from his walking death to bitch slap Jimmy Fallon in symbiotic rage with all the drunken wretches of East London.
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Burtons
What the hell, db1? Why did you even bother putting up this ridiculous celeb-centric garbage?
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There is far more entertaining stuff out there.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82994197/
There was no part of this interview that didn’t make me squint my eyes, mouth slightly agape, and want to skull fuck a puppy.
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Boners are just your balls giving a thumbs up to whatever you’re thinking about.
Lighten up Francis-es.
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That’s the first Chelsea clip I’ve seen in years, and she’s great.
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The Canadian chick, meh.
…those golden locks could be a ctchers mitt for my spurts of carmel macchiatto…an shit
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barristas
I peed in Lake Kapuskasing once.
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Also, I refuse to watch any video where I have to sit through any 30 second advertisement, especially for a direct-to-DVD movie.
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Also, Celebleeth Levine can kiss my hairy bean bag.
Peter O’Toole…heh heh huh huh huh heh heh
