Friday, April 19, 2013

Friday Haiku

photo

Calvin, wondering

If Claire’s “carpet” matched her “drapes”,

Conspires to go down.

Victorian Age

Douchebag goes exploring in

Her oyster gully

— Capt. James T. Douche

He hasn’t breathed in

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Victorian Douche

Preparing to go down on

Victorian Bleeth

— DoucheyWallnuts

In the days before

feminine douche invented

The smells could be strong.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

1809 was

A momentous year, as muff

Diving invented

— Capt. James T. Douche

He put the helmet/em>

In the basket with a hose

The Purple Flesh Hose

— DoucheyWallnuts

“I’d like to be in

HER Octopus’s Garden!”

pondered Phineas.

— Douche Wayne

This dude just loves to

Swim with bow-legged women,

Dives between their knees.

— hermit

Friday haiku shows

mock is applicable to

douchebags throughout time

— Charles Douchewin

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:21 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Victorian Age

Douchebag goes exploring in

Her oyster gully

7:23 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This sort of thing was

Typical for that time, as

Muffs were not trimmed down

7:30 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This was how you got

Attention then, GSR

Not invented yet.

7:35 am April, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Transvestite hard to

Describe in the Haiku form.

Still, there’s a penis.

7:43 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He’s not the only

Thing that smells like freshly speared

Tuna at high tide.

7:49 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jacques Cousteau says

“Smells like sea cucumber,

Tastes like chicken. Son”

7:50 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He hasn’t breathed in

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

7:50 am April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Victorian Douche

Preparing to go down on

Victorian Bleeth

7:50 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts the helmet

In the basket or it gets

The hose. Frilly hose.

7:51 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Borat said “Death to

America”. Didn’t realize

They said “Dynomite.”

7:52 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mississippi Sock

Out on bail for the

Elvis Schtick and shit.

7:53 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Roofies not around

All they had was opium

And absinthe back then

7:54 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Deep sea diver thinks

“Never peed on chrinoline

Once. Passes the gas.

7:56 am April, 19 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

In the days before

feminine douche invented

The smells could be strong.

7:56 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

1809 was

A momentous year, as muff

Diving invented

7:58 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She never shaved. He

Is preparing for the shock

Of exploding beaver dam.

7:59 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Queen is never

Amused. Spaceman is boggling

Her dirty sess pit.

8:00 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Undersea diver

Wonders how many Leagues

Under drapes for poon.

8:01 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She hasn’t smiled once

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

8:02 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“How many tines must a

Man go down, Before they call

Him a Beefeater.”

8:05 am April, 19 Douche Wayne said...

“I’d like to be in

HER Octopus’s Garden!”

pondered Phineas.

8:05 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My puss don’t smell that

Bad Captain. ” That’s what she said

You festering cunt.”

8:07 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He’s been at sea for

Quite a spell he welcomes Queen

Annes “lace” pungent smell.

8:08 am April, 19 Douche Wayne said...

Early example

of douche cranial décor.

Nicknamed the “Bellhead.”

8:10 am April, 19 Douche Wayne said...

“What are you dressed as?”

“Your poor gynecologist.”

“Quite funny, Groucho.”

8:13 am April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He put the helmet

In the basket with a hose

The Purple Flesh Hose

8:13 am April, 19 Douche Wayne said...

The mediocre

freak show bills him as being

“Half Man-Half Furnace.”

8:14 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Her Treasure Island

Will be agape once bloomers

Are drawn like the drapes.

8:16 am April, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Before the circus

Made him a fortune, PT

Barnum made porno.

8:18 am April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Jules Verne wrote this book;

“Captain Nemo Dives Into

Hairy Ham Wallet”

8:21 am April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

All she thinks about

Is having to polish his

Helmet. Flesh Helmet

8:35 am April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

twenty thousand licks

under the bleeth; prepared for

deep thigh compression

8:35 am April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Deep “C” diving

Dangerous occupation

When Bleeths didn’t wax

8:47 am April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

Friday haiku shows

mock is applicable to

douchebags throughout time

8:47 am April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

Spirit of friday

haiku alive, they exist

only in spirit.

9:11 am April, 19 hermit said...

This dude just loves to,

Swim with bow-legged women,

Dives between their knees.

9:21 am April, 19 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Fishing for sponges

Always hazardous duty

Best to keep it Greek

9:22 am April, 19 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

@CharlesDouchewin for the win!

9:38 am April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He’s no deep sea dude.

Invented world’s first self made

Hot Boxing device.

9:50 am April, 19 Scooby Douche said...

Robinson Crusoe,

Back in civilization,

prefers man Friday

9:51 am April, 19 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Bart shows invention:

The portable Dutch Oven.

Basking in his fumes.

9:54 am April, 19 Scooby Douche said...

She wants some “safe” sex,

He builds full body condom,

Bitch still won’t give it……

9:56 am April, 19 Scooby Douche said...

Claire’s lack of hygiene

Gives new meaning to the phrase

“I’m going crabbing!”

9:56 am April, 19 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Sue sits nervously

With first electric dildo

On shelf behind her.

11:53 am April, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Good stuff. Douche Wayne had two winners!

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