Friday Haiku
Calvin, wondering
If Claire’s “carpet” matched her “drapes”,
Conspires to go down.
Victorian Age
Douchebag goes exploring in
Her oyster gully
— Capt. James T. Douche
He hasn’t breathed in
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Victorian Douche
Preparing to go down on
Victorian Bleeth
— DoucheyWallnuts
In the days before
feminine douche invented
The smells could be strong.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
1809 was
A momentous year, as muff
Diving invented
— Capt. James T. Douche
He put the helmet/em>
In the basket with a hose
The Purple Flesh Hose
— DoucheyWallnuts
“I’d like to be in
HER Octopus’s Garden!”
pondered Phineas.
— Douche Wayne
This dude just loves to
Swim with bow-legged women,
Dives between their knees.
— hermit
Friday haiku shows
mock is applicable to
douchebags throughout time
— Charles Douchewin
Victorian Age
Douchebag goes exploring in
Her oyster gully
This sort of thing was
Typical for that time, as
Muffs were not trimmed down
This was how you got
Attention then, GSR
Not invented yet.
Transvestite hard to
Describe in the Haiku form.
Still, there’s a penis.
He’s not the only
Thing that smells like freshly speared
Tuna at high tide.
Jacques Cousteau says
“Smells like sea cucumber,
Tastes like chicken. Son”
He hasn’t breathed in
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Victorian Douche
Preparing to go down on
Victorian Bleeth
It puts the helmet
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Frilly hose.
Borat said “Death to
America”. Didn’t realize
They said “Dynomite.”
Mississippi Sock
Out on bail for the
Elvis Schtick and shit.
Roofies not around
All they had was opium
And absinthe back then
Deep sea diver thinks
“Never peed on chrinoline
Once. Passes the gas.
In the days before
feminine douche invented
The smells could be strong.
1809 was
A momentous year, as muff
Diving invented
She never shaved. He
Is preparing for the shock
Of exploding beaver dam.
The Queen is never
Amused. Spaceman is boggling
Her dirty sess pit.
Undersea diver
Wonders how many Leagues
Under drapes for poon.
She hasn’t smiled once
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
“How many tines must a
Man go down, Before they call
Him a Beefeater.”
“I’d like to be in
HER Octopus’s Garden!”
pondered Phineas.
My puss don’t smell that
Bad Captain. ” That’s what she said
You festering cunt.”
He’s been at sea for
Quite a spell he welcomes Queen
Annes “lace” pungent smell.
Early example
of douche cranial décor.
Nicknamed the “Bellhead.”
“What are you dressed as?”
“Your poor gynecologist.”
“Quite funny, Groucho.”
He put the helmet
In the basket with a hose
The Purple Flesh Hose
The mediocre
freak show bills him as being
“Half Man-Half Furnace.”
Her Treasure Island
Will be agape once bloomers
Are drawn like the drapes.
Before the circus
Made him a fortune, PT
Barnum made porno.
Jules Verne wrote this book;
“Captain Nemo Dives Into
Hairy Ham Wallet”
All she thinks about
Is having to polish his
Helmet. Flesh Helmet
twenty thousand licks
under the bleeth; prepared for
deep thigh compression
Deep “C” diving
Dangerous occupation
When Bleeths didn’t wax
Friday haiku shows
mock is applicable to
douchebags throughout time
Spirit of friday
haiku alive, they exist
only in spirit.
This dude just loves to,
Swim with bow-legged women,
Dives between their knees.
Fishing for sponges
Always hazardous duty
Best to keep it Greek
@CharlesDouchewin for the win!
He’s no deep sea dude.
Invented world’s first self made
Hot Boxing device.
Robinson Crusoe,
Back in civilization,
prefers man Friday
Bart shows invention:
The portable Dutch Oven.
Basking in his fumes.
She wants some “safe” sex,
He builds full body condom,
Bitch still won’t give it……
Claire’s lack of hygiene
Gives new meaning to the phrase
“I’m going crabbing!”
Sue sits nervously
With first electric dildo
On shelf behind her.
Good stuff. Douche Wayne had two winners!