Friday Thoughts and Links
Didja hear the one about the Bald Asian Guy Obsessed with Black Culture, the Hot Bar Wench and the skinny bottle of Champagne?
You haven’t?!?
Okay, so a Bald Asian Guy Obsessed with Black Culture and a Hot Bar Wench walk into a bar. So they say to the Bartender, “Hey Bartender! Give us a skinny bottle of your best skinny champagne!”
And the bartender goes, “Okay.”
And the bartender gives them two bottles of skinny champagne.
Here’s yer links:
Your HCwDB Historical Text-Book of the Week: The Reign of the Phallus: Sexual Politics in Ancient Athens
Douchebags begin to experience regret in the form of skin removal techniques.
Okay kids, time to play another round of Greatest… Headlines… In… History. And… we have a winner.
Poop in space gives new meaning to the overused term, “Floating Frozen Feces Orbiting a Planet.” What, you don’t use that term in everyday conversation? Where do you hang out?
Okay, screw all this links. Lets get to it:
Not good enough? Okay:
Like a summer breeze. Wait, what?
That’s not champagne, boss. It’s some damn-good tequila.
“Reign of the Phallus” is what I nickname my golden showers.
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Golden showers, I says.
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.Diogenes
They actually got three bottles. She bet him he couldn’t keegle one for eight minutes.
“Dinner is served”. I see that down there on a 57-something and I’m thinkin’ cheap macaroni and cheese. With a side of maggots.
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maggots, I says.
and, ummm, I’m kinda feelin’ hosed on the Pear lineup for this week. Where’s Sock?
Emperor Hirohito is making that face because he knows he’s paying way too much money for way to poor quality alcohol, for no shot at plowing his kamikaze into her Pearl Harbor.
I reign in my Phallus with a dog caller, he’s named Medium.
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I find the Haiku a spiritual process at the end of a week of work. Although I miss my 30 year bender and waking up to my late breakfast of beer, left-overs, and weed to do Friday Haiku, it is funnier when I’m sober and taking pills to smooth the shakes out. Now I’m gonna get ripping drunk and stoned for the weekend of spring turd collection and a bit of over-orchestrated golfing hubris as is my tradition by living vicariously through the whispering literary fellatio of Jim Nance and Nick Faldo from the 18th tower in Augusta.
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Fuck you Peter Oosterhaus. I hate being “The Man” but you can’t save all the kittens. Have a great weekend fuckers.
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And shit…Son.
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Hooties
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I hear the original tag line for Alien was, “In Space Nobody Can Hear You Grunt.”
DW has a point, as always. The little Asian guy looks like he’s trying to pinch off a serious loaf.
I hate golf and more so the golf fans and idiots who scream, “You Da Man,” whenever someone hits a drive. Get the fuck outta here! However, I love pear.
But even if this image was taken after he’d snapped one off, honourable cansband man is still an inscrutable douche. Win-win, by which I mean lose-lose.
The Karate Skid.
I normally don’t dig chicks with balls. But I’ll make an exception for Greased Up Beach Pear.
^ agree. DB1 delivers! Tha’ sum ripe pear, buoyo.
Rachel Leigh Cook. Still just as hot as ever.
^Roger that…
I am stoned, Sons. She ^ gives me wood. Gonna get stoned until I hallucinate Rachel to reality in my pants then go ass rape the old broad in the dark with a welder’s mask on my facials.
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And.. Son.
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I like the golf channel and the NASA channel as narcotics. The golf channel can only be watched with the volume off. They talk too much but it looks good. Especially Holly Sanders. She gives me wood when an iron is enough club.
For those who track these things, beach ball pear is a.k.a. Violet Erotica on the interweb. Many is the hour I have (mis)spent keeping an eye on her… Golf, do people still watch that? Doesn’t seem fast or dangerous enough for modern sports fans. Also it seems more like a hobby than a sport, seeing as how you don’t actually have to break a sweat to do it well.
fat, bald asian dude is making sukiyukki in his drawers
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dependsdants
That’s Odd Job!
kim chi pants!