Friday, April 12, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

photo (27)

Didja hear the one about the Bald Asian Guy Obsessed with Black Culture, the Hot Bar Wench and the skinny bottle of Champagne?

You haven’t?!?

Okay, so a Bald Asian Guy Obsessed with Black Culture and a Hot Bar Wench walk into a bar. So they say to the Bartender, “Hey Bartender! Give us a skinny bottle of your best skinny champagne!”

And the bartender goes, “Okay.”

And the bartender gives them two bottles of skinny champagne.

Here’s yer links:

Your HCwDB Historical Text-Book of the Week: The Reign of the Phallus: Sexual Politics in Ancient Athens

Douchebags begin to experience regret in the form of skin removal techniques.

Okay kids, time to play another round of Greatest… Headlines… In… History. And… we have a winner.

Poop in space gives new meaning to the overused term, “Floating Frozen Feces Orbiting a Planet.” What, you don’t use that term in everyday conversation? Where do you hang out?

Okay, screw all this links. Lets get to it:

Crop circle Pear.

Not good enough? Okay:

Greased Up BeachPear

Like a summer breeze. Wait, what?

# posted by douchebag1
1:10 pm April, 12 Ted Brogan said...

That’s not champagne, boss. It’s some damn-good tequila.

1:14 pm April, 12 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

“Reign of the Phallus” is what I nickname my golden showers.

.

.

Golden showers, I says.

.

.

.Diogenes

1:18 pm April, 12 Dickie Fingers said...

They actually got three bottles. She bet him he couldn’t keegle one for eight minutes.

1:23 pm April, 12 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

“Dinner is served”. I see that down there on a 57-something and I’m thinkin’ cheap macaroni and cheese. With a side of maggots.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

maggots, I says.

1:24 pm April, 12 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

and, ummm, I’m kinda feelin’ hosed on the Pear lineup for this week. Where’s Sock?

1:31 pm April, 12 Mr. ScrotatoHead said...

Emperor Hirohito is making that face because he knows he’s paying way too much money for way to poor quality alcohol, for no shot at plowing his kamikaze into her Pearl Harbor.

1:43 pm April, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I reign in my Phallus with a dog caller, he’s named Medium.

.

I find the Haiku a spiritual process at the end of a week of work. Although I miss my 30 year bender and waking up to my late breakfast of beer, left-overs, and weed to do Friday Haiku, it is funnier when I’m sober and taking pills to smooth the shakes out. Now I’m gonna get ripping drunk and stoned for the weekend of spring turd collection and a bit of over-orchestrated golfing hubris as is my tradition by living vicariously through the whispering literary fellatio of Jim Nance and Nick Faldo from the 18th tower in Augusta.

.

Fuck you Peter Oosterhaus. I hate being “The Man” but you can’t save all the kittens. Have a great weekend fuckers.

.

And shit…Son.

.

Hooties

.

2:41 pm April, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I hear the original tag line for Alien was, “In Space Nobody Can Hear You Grunt.”

2:48 pm April, 12 The Dude said...

DW has a point, as always. The little Asian guy looks like he’s trying to pinch off a serious loaf.

2:51 pm April, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I hate golf and more so the golf fans and idiots who scream, “You Da Man,” whenever someone hits a drive. Get the fuck outta here! However, I love pear.

3:22 pm April, 12 Doctor Magnifico! said...

But even if this image was taken after he’d snapped one off, honourable cansband man is still an inscrutable douche. Win-win, by which I mean lose-lose.

3:37 pm April, 12 Guid is Good said...

The Karate Skid.

3:56 pm April, 12 DarkSock said...

I normally don’t dig chicks with balls. But I’ll make an exception for Greased Up Beach Pear.
sa

4:13 pm April, 12 Doctor Magnifico! said...

^ agree. DB1 delivers! Tha’ sum ripe pear, buoyo.

5:11 pm April, 12 Steve said...

Rachel Leigh Cook. Still just as hot as ever.

5:18 pm April, 12 DarkSock said...

^Roger that…
hotttt

5:31 pm April, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I am stoned, Sons. She ^ gives me wood. Gonna get stoned until I hallucinate Rachel to reality in my pants then go ass rape the old broad in the dark with a welder’s mask on my facials.

.

And.. Son.

.

11:03 pm April, 12 The Dude said...

I like the golf channel and the NASA channel as narcotics. The golf channel can only be watched with the volume off. They talk too much but it looks good. Especially Holly Sanders. She gives me wood when an iron is enough club.

8:13 am April, 13 Charlie Smith said...

For those who track these things, beach ball pear is a.k.a. Violet Erotica on the interweb. Many is the hour I have (mis)spent keeping an eye on her… Golf, do people still watch that? Doesn’t seem fast or dangerous enough for modern sports fans. Also it seems more like a hobby than a sport, seeing as how you don’t actually have to break a sweat to do it well.

10:46 am April, 13 creature said...

fat, bald asian dude is making sukiyukki in his drawers

.

dependsdants

12:14 pm April, 13 Douchble Helix said...

That’s Odd Job!

7:01 pm April, 14 creature said...

kim chi pants!

Leave a Reply

What is 14 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)