Friday, April 19, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

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Kinda hard to keep up with the mock when Fratbags become terrorists.

But, as terrorist versions of Chainsaw and that Blonde Guy from Summer School wrap up their terrorism spree, my thoughts turn to… Watertown???

Seriously, Watertown?

Even Somerville mocks Watertown. Truckers don’t even stop for bathroom breaks in Watertown. Although I did spend many a high school Saturday journeying to the Arsenal Mall because I was convinced that malls were where the chicks hung out and there were no malls in Brookline.

It turns out that, back in the 80s, high school chicks did not actually hang out in malls. At least not in Boston.

Consider that a life lesson learned.

Here’s yer freakin’ links:

Why not take this time to learn more about Chechnya?: A Small Corner of Hell: Dispatches from Chechnya

Eel Shoved Up Man’s Anus Eats Its Way Through His Intestines. Or, as I like to call it, dating.

Let the attention whoring Thrift Shop parodies continue: Pot Shop.

Sorority Bleeths in the Slimeball Doucharama. Or perhaps “greatest email ever.”

Ah screw this. I got nuthin’ while this crap is going down. Time for Pear:

Zig Zag Pear

Not enough?

Blue Quartet Pear

It’s almost enough to distract you from a chaotic week. Almost.

# posted by douchebag1
12:31 pm April, 19 jonezy said...

Papa Smurf’s head just exploded after seeing the Blue Quartet.

1:14 pm April, 19 Vin Douchal said...

We got ripped off with that eel story. It said “PHOTOS!” but there were no photos…. and the link was in some subversive Chinese webpage that gave my computer Bird Flu

.

Sorority Chick in the email: Call me. I’ll show you a good time. Yes, anal and nipple clamps

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1:27 pm April, 19 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Its good that Pear has returned from the crop circles and farmer-plowed fields!

1:29 pm April, 19 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Blue quartet pear has me in a froth.

.

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and crazyass sorority girl story is classic. brought me back to a time when you think your fraternity / sorority is the center of the universe. then you grow up and join the real world and find out what the fuck is really important. I’m guessing she’s gettting a little life lesson now after that hit the web.

.

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now back to cnn and them rehashing the same update over and over and over and over.

1:43 pm April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

On the Eel version of HCWDB the running gag is, “I peed in a Chinaman’s butt once.”

1:48 pm April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

On the Eel version of HCWDB, the sitename is Hot Chicks with Douche Bass.

1:49 pm April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Also, the girl who wrote that sorority email just gave me a renoB. The “cunt punt” (respect) comment did the trick.

1:53 pm April, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

Little red riding hood plunging-neckline makes the outside face I imagine PTP women make on the inside.

2:08 pm April, 19 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

cunt punt is the new donkey punch

3:56 pm April, 19 Guid is Good said...

Yeah Doc I have a friend who may have sat on an eel. Yeah, real crazy. What are the chances of that happening?

4:02 pm April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The words “cunt punt” remind me of “turd knocking” and “cervix pummelling”

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I never thought these fun guys could be murderers. Fucking Caucasians.

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4:44 pm April, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I am figuring “Cunt Punt” is like a “Clit Kick,” “Twat Swat,””Pussy Punch,” and “Slit Slap.”

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“I will Slit Slap you, beeotch!”

6:02 pm April, 19 ehcuodouche said...

It was a long week for me. I’m kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNUfQrp0bKo

8:03 pm April, 19 Doctor Magnifico! said...

Brunette just handed plunging neckline bleeth her glass and said “hey, mind this.”

8:08 pm April, 19 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

^ I think that guy owns the convenient mart a couple blocks from me.

8:21 pm April, 19 Doctor Magnifico! said...

Moir?

9:57 pm April, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m so stoned and drunc I got a boner on for the fat broad on Criminal Minds. Was trying to watch CNN buy fond they have not been there usual repetitive, superlative, speculative, smug selves this week.

12:48 am April, 20 Douchble Helix said...

I think she’s recoiling from that ham-handed fist draped on her shoulder.

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The one with the fingers lined up backwards.

8:08 am April, 20 Douche Wayne said...

I just blue myself.

11:22 am April, 22 Justin Timberbag said...

Hall of PEAR for the blues.

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