Friday, April 26, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

photo (2)

Like poo water for poo chocolate.

I have no idea what that means.

Douchebags may have become society’s denatured clowns, but the mock continues as the herpsterbags and Cosplaying pseudo-nerds take over their slots of arrogance.

Hmm… “Slots of Arrogance.” Wasn’t that the original name of the Jeff Bebe Band?

Here’s yer links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “A strange man defecated on my sister.”

While my hometown of Boston went through a lot over the past few weeks, let us never forget the genius of the Boston accent. Wicked. Wheas tha nehrest Dunkin’? Because Bostonians love being reduced to a cultural stereotype. Like Alison Porchnik.

The Huffington Post asks, Are the Boston Bombers just Douchebags? I was not, as I should have been, consulted for this article.

When genocide in Syria needs to be tuned out, lets get our priorities in order: The Absolute Worst Things in the World.

Ever wonder about the DB1’s deepest darkest illicit fantasies? They involve chocolate syrup, a ping pong paddle laced with candy corns, and them. The things I would shear…

There are movies. There are good movies. And then there’s The Killing of Satan.

Dumpster in a Bag. Also known as an out of work bartender in Vegas.

Bored this weekend? 30 Abandoned Places that are Beautifull.  Amazing stuff.

Okay, you’ve been good. Enjoy Triple Hula Pear:

Hula Pear #1 Hula Pear #2 Hula Pear #3

Toggle back and forth with your dongle and it’s like staring at an early Muybridge photoplay.

What? Not enough?

Okay. Have some

R. Crumb Pear

Because surreal is a reminder of the traumas of the 1960s generation.

EDIT: Hula #3 link fixed. Mmmm… hulapear…

# posted by douchebag1
12:30 pm April, 26 FredN. said...

Pear1 link is repeat of pear3.

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I will refresh this page every 3 seconds until it’s fixed.

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Danke schoen

1:03 pm April, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ham Dangle™ on Hula Pear #1 is nice and I’ve been to San Fruttuoso, Italy pretty cool place right around the corner from the pretentious eurobaggery that is Portofino.

1:03 pm April, 26 Doctor Magnifico! said...

R. Crumb pear could take quite the cock I imagine.

1:22 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

s

1:26 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

ew

1:28 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

rtth

1:31 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

v

1:34 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

a

1:35 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

Go thee now to Netflix or whatever and rent the documentary “Crumb”.

.

You will emerge two hours later…different…

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That movie was so fucked up,”RubberJohnny” should have been the opening cartoon…

1:36 pm April, 26 creature said...

no surprise, left off the 30 abandoned places list….Plinky’s Mom’s anus

2:13 pm April, 26 Vin Douchal said...

I wuz screamun fah evaone tohold thare fiyah, at dat poyant<br.

.

Also, for Rev:

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Load your program, I am yourself”

2:43 pm April, 26 The Dude (remote loc) said...

I am inside the Hula Pear’s loop. Go ‘head, don’t be shy – drink it up! ack, I got nothing on Fridays

7:14 pm April, 26 Wheezer said...

I’ve always thought DarkSock would have the most interesting search history in the world.

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“I don’t always pee in a horse, but when I do, I prefer visit (long list of bizarre search terms here)…..stay twisted, my broheims…..”

7:15 pm April, 26 Wheezer said...

“…..to visit…..”

8:35 pm April, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I am concerned for the lack of Rev.

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Also, there should be no final Haiku postings without the Rev’s entries. It’s like ending a football game after three quarters….

10:29 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

I’m assuming RevChad’s having a dag-nasty blackout binge in honor of George Jone’s passing.

Little did I know that he was living just a couple miles from Casa Sock. I’d a’ dropped in and split a couple o’ twelvers with him.

1:05 am April, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Uh huh. R. Crumb…what the fuck ever.

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a href=”http://images.tcj.com/2013/01/tumblr_ltwsna5pqJ1qzrqero1_1280-700×540.jpeg”>Fuckin’ art..

1:06 am April, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Yeah…fawk!

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http://images.tcj.com/2013/01/tumblr_ltwsna5pqJ1qzrqero1_1280-700×540.jpeg

1:08 am April, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And don’t forget Giger ya pansies!

1:42 am April, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I just got home from work, fuck! I guess it was time for me to work so I can cut my drinking down to George Jones level. His liver’s ghost just told me I too would live to 81, although being Jones’ mentor and disciple, if I get off the juice by 72. Fuck that shit, he just died of old age. Fuck you Garth Brooks, you never punched out cops and trashed things and showed up raving drunk to perform. Pussy fat chick lover!

My wife and her partners would like to fire me for my functional alcoholism out of spite for my sober brilliance, but they’re all so dumb they need me to cover their asses. I hate working in an office managing a company whilst having already surpassed the skill set of some partners with 20 years experience in a month whilst only changing my behavior to “work time sober”. I hate being sober for that long but today I had to finish their work. The only problem with getting the personal secretary I will hire next week is the wife’s office is ten feet away, bitch, Z-Fuck. and the other secretaries will be pissed but they’re all in their fifties and shit and kind of used up in a chronological sense.

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When I realized around 1:30pm EST that I had forgot about the Haiku today I died a little bit in the realization that I have become “they” for the first time in my life.

Fuck! Do I only live for the weekend? Can I decide whether an apartment complex will be profitable to build in two years, at a projected future interest rate, rent, and hypothetical leasing? Fuck no I just guess.the long run Can’t the good

Spirit give me a sign that the kids will be alright as a result of my faux return to the workplace(no respect). Bitch would have seen me retire if it wasn’t for the fucking kids and the bullshit girls need when they are pre-pre-teen. Fuck, horses? Speaking of pre-teen I never mentioned that there is a public Catholic High School across the road from the business park I work in. Hot little babes, Son. Tammy Wynette died? There is no justice in the world today my friends. @ Vin, that song blew my mind as my buzz of Lenny Hash courses through my veins, heart rate increasing Bp falling George Jones style Son. Mellow and shit now, Son. I better think of sleeping before I go old-country on the wife and dog.

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Beer tastes better when you have six an hour instead of just one or two an hour in the old days of Limbo. There is not enough time in life for work sons. My two year hiatus changed my senses and made me grow gills. Swimming is the shit when ya can breathe underwater. My typing skills are getting better but I still hate the Mac vs. the PC. It seems like like computer talks to me now, anticipating my next move like Nicole Kidman watching Tom Cruise get out the buttplugs. Is life real, or is it Memorex?

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It was said by the outgoing Richard Nixon (respect) that to be true to your ideas is akin to being true to your member, never eat less than you can chew. And shit.

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I didn’t even know George was dead until I smoked a bowl, popped a few pills and drank a few and Dark Sock told me. I think I’m talking to myself and typing it now.

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Lenny is great driver.

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Her pussy’s algaed

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

.http://stereogum.com/1326002/watch-foo-fighters-cover-rush-at-rock-roll-hall-of-fame-inductions/video/

.

Slaves to the machines.

12:16 pm April, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Whilst I’ve never done drugs, and shan’t start anytime soon, I feel like I have whilst reading Rev’s soliloquies. Shan’t, I says.

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I’ve returned from a mind numbing 5 hours of watching youth sports and trying to find a MILF somewheres amongst the sea of matronly sows who have given up the hope of ever being considered attractive to anyone again, aside from those prisoners who have been in solitary confinement.

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The smells of menopause and despair overwhelm the senses and block out the smells of spring. 40-year old ham wallets wearing unisex clothing and hairstyles that serve to kill wood and cause shrinkage abound. My Kingdom for a MILF-able MILF.

11:46 pm April, 27 Douchble Helix said...

2:45 am. Sober as a judge, what with the weekly piss tests and all. And needing to be at the top of my game to beat those bastards.

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Jesus Christ, where did they find that emaciated Boston cop? A Fuckin’ Gonuts on every corner, and Biafran children want to send *him* food.

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Shoulda kept it in your pants, Rev. Especially around the Chosen Ones. You will never experience peace or quiet again.

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Actually had a victory on the civic activism front, so I got that going for me. Which is nice.

8:56 am April, 28 Billy The Scrote said...

SHE NEEDS SOME MAJOR TP TO WIPE OFF THESE TURDS.

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