Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Herpster Elijah Gets Down with 30s Hott Karen At an Annoying Bar in Sheboygan

1045

Unearned Dog Tags on Herpsters with extensive vinyl collections and no TVs.

Still out there.

Still douchey.

# posted by douchebag1
11:25 am April, 30 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Unearned you say? Elijah has the look of a guy who did three tours in Iraq and is finishing his third in Afghanistan. Or does he work at Circle K? Forgot.

12:04 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Yes she is hott. And Karen has the chewed fingernail action I like… why? Psychobabble tells us it’s due to an oral fixation. Oral , I says

12:32 pm April, 30 bigphatnotadouche said...

Her hand around the douche’s neck is signaling his penis size to her sistas.

12:39 pm April, 30 creature said...

…smelly & with irrelevant ink too…karen has humped at least 2 of his pals on week nights!

1:37 pm April, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Karen, looking to get back at her husband Brad who she caught drilling the baby-sitter, hooks up with Elijah the last employee from the last Blockbuster in the greater Columbus area. Elijah was voted to the Rewind Hall of Fame in 2003 when he was a sophomore at Columbus Downtown High, but it’s been all downhill since then. Despite several failed drug tests, Elijah managed to hang onto his job at the last Blockbuster open west of New Albany, OH.

.

He met Karen when she came in looking for copies of “Ghost’, and “Peggy Sue Got Married,” to rent in the aftermath of seing her husband dicking the 18-year old baby sitter. Dicking, I says. Elijah sensed her vulnerability and pounced. And by sensed her vulnerability I mean Karen grabbed his schwantz with both hands and stuck her tongue down his troat.

1:51 pm April, 30 The Dude said...

I hope Karen used some strong mouthwash after that episode.

1:57 pm April, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Eugene Sleepimann sighted. 3 bottles malternative alcohol in 4 hours must be too much for his system.

2:33 pm April, 30 Guid is Good said...

30s Hott Karen knows the clock is ticking. Relax Karen, things aren’t this desperate just yet.

2:44 pm April, 30 DouchYouWannaDance said...

I can only conclude Karen has mistaken this punch-worthy herpster for a Stripper Pole.

2:55 pm April, 30 Guid is Good said...

30s Hott Karen’s bestie just told her about the switch two hours ago.

2:58 pm April, 30 Guid is Good said...

Herpster Elijah earned his dog tags at barista basic training.

3:15 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

T’was a MILFy hott babe from Sheboygan

Ex-husband saw hookers for noggin

If she’d just swallowed loads

Wouldn’t get stuck with choads

Her love life would stop scraping bottom

3:25 pm April, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Been to Sheboygan. Karen must be Miss Sheboygan cause most of the broads up there are weighing in at about a deuce and a half, covered with bad tatts and the only sausage they are thinking about getting are actual bratwurst.

3:30 pm April, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Herpster Elijah had an original thought once. It involved a warm bath, a PBR laced with quaaludes, and an ironic barber’s razor sharpened on naughahyde.

3:42 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Herpster Elijah zodiak sign is Velveeta

3:45 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Herpster Elijah’s dog tags read: “If found unconscious kick repeatedly in the testicles”

3:47 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Herpster Elijah is tired of being asked if he’s Kenny G, replying, “That dudes buff, I don’t look anything like him”

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