Limerick Wednesday
All night these lines Biff rehearses:
“Me and Todd want you both to nurse us”
Both Jan and Trish giggled,
And said with a jiggle,
“With cash you must reimburse us”
************
If your highest expression of humanity
is creating dance-club insanity
when the diseased and the weak
look at you and speak
try not to respond with profanity.
************
Baron Von Goolo said…
A promotional model named Brie
Kept her job till she was 43.
Now the blonde and her nips
Are taking her tips.
Now she goes home alone and weeps softly into a bag of Pirate Booty, touching herself as she watches Supernatural and lamenting how she never paid enough attention to Jerry, who *technically* wasn’t her type but he was super-nice and so into her and has a thriving dental practice now.
.
…I’m sorry, what was the question?
No lymric, but……is that “The Ricky” with the red pube toupee in the background?
There once were two trannies
Named Sammi and Danni
Those who thought them bleeths
Didn’t know they had cocks underneath
The miniskirts they wore in Miami
A trio of douches celebrate
Where the drunken Bleeths congregate
Try as they might through the night
These ladies legs do remain tight
And its home once again to masturbate
Two bleeths surrounded by Poo
Look like they don’t know what to do
They don’t think it’s fun
To be limerick inspiration
They’d rather be featured on Friday Haiku
This scene is a hot mess
Full of douche and poser excess
Curly red and the flavor saver twins
Made sure to roofie the gin
Now they all burn with herpes abcess
Assholery has run amok
No one here is going to fuck
Look at that crew who would really want to
The douches make the bleeths wanna poo
There is nothing there that doesn’t suck
If your highest expression of humanity
is creating dance-club insanity
when the diseased and the weak
look at you and speak
try not to respond with profanity.
When I look at this dross
I think “Societal Loss”
Nobody wins
When everybody sins
Why did Jesus died on the cross?
Limericks are harder than Haiku.
A club scene loud and smelly
All say “Woo” as they grind to Nelly
The two hotts in the middle
Will each other diddle
And squirt juices on each others’ belly
The poor man’s Dominic Monaghan wannabe
Signaled “I got 9 inches for your vajagee”
When much to his surprise
His hipster cohort surmised
“I want them to be in me.”
They are harder. No pain no gain.
versus Rev’s motto – “No pain, No pain”.
When considering a Hobbit-like hairdo
One should be careful to avoid curls of pink poo
Samwise might glimpse
But Frodo would wince
At the thought of Gandalf scoring more pussy than they do
A douche with horrible pink hair
Holds his hands up “Hey you over there”
If my boyfriend sees this
Tonight’s rimjob I’ll miss
‘Cause my lover’s a jealous gay bear
A hott in tight fitting gray dress
Pink hair does not even impress
But give her some coke
The nurses she’d stroke
Their tongues do a clitty full press
Sure this pink hair may make seem gay
I assure you I don’t swing that way
‘Cept that time at camp
With my counselor scamp
When my face with jizz he did spray
In this pic the sexes aren’t a’mingling
Even though their crotches a’tingling
These chicks don’t dig boys
Prefer vibrating toys
This group has my gaydar a’jingling
A bunch of club posers and prancers
And easily failing romancers
But chick this shit out
You horny ole lout
Dallas Mavericks’ fuckable Dancers
The midrifts are bared right heres
Which could start a bone if you aren’t queers
But the douchebags will kill it
Which calls for a skillet
To be bashed in their skulls with no tears
Hand gesture largeman in back
Disappointed he can’t eyeball rack
To have and to hold
When he’s feeling bold
And hopefully before his boyfriend’s back.
A promotional model named Brie
Kept her job till she was 43.
Now the blonde and her nips
Are taking her tips.
Now she goes home alone and weeps softly into a bag of Pirate Booty, touching herself as she watches Supernatural and lamenting how she never paid enough attention to Jerry, who *technically* wasn’t her type but he was super-nice and so into her and has a thriving dental practice now.
.
…I’m sorry, what was the question?
Lamenting, I says
Those cans are held by halters
We pray to them as if at altars
But this ain’t no church
Those ‘bags make me learch*
And my faith in our cause falters
.
.
.
.
*1. bake a foam cake
The act of throwing up.
Those comments on his FB page, make me want to bake a foam cake.
vomit throw up hurl / learch / buick gag spew
by cubudman Mar 31, 2012 add a video
That watch on his arm is gi-normous
That fung on his chin is just like pus
He is a douche, that is true
For that his balls will be blue
‘Till he bags the guy next to him, named Gus.
I want to bake a large Foam Cake
Because I look at this scene and I want to rake
By rake, I mean cleanse
Cull, shoot , mow – in whatever tense
Just change this pic to Pear – even Fake
The lass on the right has me dreaming
Of sweeping her off without seeming
Like the horn dog I am
In search of nice mamms
And pear that needs a good reaming
I’d roger that babe in the grey dress
And the two in the white with their breasts
But Chin Fung and Pink Hair
Should be eaten by a Griz’ bear
Then, “All’s Right” with the world I’d confess
Suzy brought Mom to the raves,
but wieners practice their waves,
If Mom’s looking for dick,
she better leave quick,
Cause these losers are totally gay
“No Mas” signs the douche in the center
He’s pissed – someone let these chicks enter
He was the belle of the ball
And ready to receive all
Now he’s left to pitch his own tent, er…
This is a scene from End Of Days
A pustule of piss that costs us, not pays
Cause there’s a scrote with pink-hair
Amongst the douches in this lair
Amongst the douches, I says.
You fuggin’ Sock!
I wrote and I wrote, while watching the clock
I shot for front page
So I’d be the rage
But I’m denied, so you can suck my…
I thought it might really be nifty
In the days before I turn fifty
If a costumed young hott
Would give me a shot
At having her give me a lifty
.
Okay, maybe Wallnuts is right