Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Pinkubus

photo (1)

Once, back when I was working as a mule breeder and horse whisperer for a traveling carnival in Dubuque during the rainy season, I ran into a Pinkubus.

It was half-feral. Possibly starving. Crouching by the side of the road.

At first I saw it out of the corner of my eye. The touring wagons has pulled over at a regional bank on the outskirts of Bismark to resupply on wood grain and lemon marmalade. The Viscous Twins, one of the star attractions in General Aladin’s Sideshow, had a nasty case of the runs and so we had to stop for quite some time while Old Ma Weinstein tended to them with a case of castor oil and a wick of bronzer.

I wandered to the edge of our motley encampment to smoke a cuban and ponder a recently reread copy of Joyce’s “Chronicles of an Irish Ball Fondler” when I saw it.

A real life Pinkubus.

The kind you only read about in children’s books and Archie Comics.

There it was. By the side of the road.

In a high pitched squee it called out to me, “Hiiiiii!… Yooo hooo!!.. Check out my pecs!!… I’m a vegan!… Do you think it’s gonna rain?… I hate Justin Bieber!”

Pinkubii were known to spout inanities.

I scrambled for my Kodacrome to record the event for posterity, but it was too late.

The Pinkubus scrambled back into the underbrush, never to be seen again.

# posted by douchebag1
7:22 am April, 24 Dickie Fingers said...

The only pinkubus I want to see is hers, while she fondling my Irish balls.

7:48 am April, 24 UFO Destroyers said...

This guy is why the terrorists hate us. The girls are why they stay.

8:00 am April, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

A vile case of eurobaggery, I believe he is of the Scandia region Pinkubii.

8:09 am April, 24 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Pinkubus are also known to frequent men’s washroom stalls where they perform various unnatural acts (in the biblical sense) with other patrons. I saw it on a National Geographic special.

8:16 am April, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

It’s Pecubus. Pecubus, I says.

8:45 am April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Lol @ Db1. This story could have been made into a short that would have been shown before “Water For Elephants” in theatres

9:26 am April, 24 creature said...

…if I ask nicely, can I play squash w peachies melons

…pretty please

9:27 am April, 24 creature said...

pink holsters push brooms up his rectum….he puts the wide end in first….makes for broad shoulders

.

sweepers

9:33 am April, 24 hermit said...

Nice work DB1, love it!

9:35 am April, 24 hermit said...

Pinkubus is Bigfoot’s bitch.

10:44 am April, 24 Doctor Magnifico! said...

All four only go the the club for photo ops. While I can understand the two blond girls doing this shiz, it’s suspect behaviour for the two girls on right.

10:57 am April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Big blondie boobs may be King of Sears’ Hello Kitty Hott. She may be wearing too much clothing to tell, though

11:37 am April, 24 Guid is Good said...

Eurovision time again already?

12:43 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Pinkubus. That’s funny, Son. A true douchebag. Almost retro douchebag and shit. I’m http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWCBghizQUs out a here cause it’s too hot in pants. I need liquor. I am the liquor.

.

12:51 pm April, 24 Douchble Helix said...

Lindsay Lohan & Brittan Spears on HCwDB!!

.

As The One True Fan of Hello Kitty Bleeth of King Of Sears Fame, I can assure my esteemed colleague, Vin D, that is not her.

.

And if my whole fucking computer – with monitor – hadn’t been absconded with as a “criminal tool”, I would post some of my fine Photoshop work to prove it.

2:04 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

Extra Rigid Cockk Rocker”

2:10 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

Pinkubus borrowed one of blondie’s shirts. After all, it fit “tho well.”

2:34 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

Pinkubus may be HCwDB’s first belated Weekly winner (loser).

.

Wait, no Weekly for Monday? For the last few Mondays? I think I missed the memo on that and something called the “TPS report.”

10:07 pm April, 24 DarkSock said...

Pinkubus has a place in the DB o’ the Year.

.

Homo-Clavicles

4:33 pm April, 25 Guid is Good said...

Albanian ABBA tribute band?

4:35 pm April, 25 Guid is Good said...

Pinkubus says never borrow your girlfriend’s Tshirt when you are going out. Especially if she is the one in orange above.

4:43 pm April, 25 Guid is Good said...

Pinkubus says real men aren’t afraid to wear pink.

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