Reader Mail: Scary Plotter
Boz 
writes in:
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DB1, You hate to see this.
A ginger darling character actress from a series as venerated (if overly-commodified and endlessly drawn-out) as the Harry Potter movies… on the arm of a mouth-breathing swag-hog like this. I know nothing about this stick, except that he looks like the smelly Danish foreign exchange student from my 8th-grade social studies class.
The two might be dating, engaged, divorced with kids, I don’t know or care.
Satisfaction is in the snap judgement, and my judgement is, “Oh, Snap! He’s a tool!” This Tom-Hanks-from-Castaway coiffed weasel is only in it for the purpose of being tagged in her celebrity facebook photos.
Riding the coattails of her redhaired sweetness…. Ginnie Weasley, my heart weeps some sort of quidditch-based dirge for thee. You are sweet ginger perfection. He is choad.
– Boz
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A quality HCwDB tag with quality mock email. Well done, Boz.
I can’t tell if Audrina Partridge is gagging herself looking at this choad or pointing where she’d like Vin Douchal’s throbbing cocck to go
At least she had the good sense to dump his prissy ass before she was really screwed:
.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Campbell_Bower
I’d hump her Dumbledore.
I’d Neville her Longbottom.
I’d tame her Red Dragon with my Phoenix quill.
I’d give her a Howler.
I’d Askeban her flesh prison.
I’d give her the Flesh Blood Prince.
I’d pick at her Hogwarts.
I’d catch her golden snitch.
I’d hoover her carpet whilst combing her drapes.
I’d sprout my seed upon her Pomonas.
I’d Slytherin her Nymphadoras with my Severus Snape
I’d like to slip my elder wand right into her invisibility cloak.
What a fuccen scuzball. I hope Red Hott isn’t permanently scarred from their coupling.
Is give her a dementor’s kiss right in Godric’s Hollow.
Note to all the other students at Hogwarts: this is what you get if you raise your wand and say, “accio dipshit”
Id put my Peter Pettigrew right into her goblet of fire.
Is that a guy or Scarlett Johansson?
I’d fuck her vagina
No, not Ginnie! My world is crumbling. Maybe Charlie has a douche-hungry dragon he can use? Voldemort has truly won.
Son.
This chap looks like a bounder.
.
.
Tally ho.
That’s one of the least douchey pictures of the guy that I’ve seen. Usually he has DJ headphones hanging from his neck. She came to her senses and called off their engagement last year.
Bunsen Honeydew posted his comment on my birthday…