Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Reader Mail: Scary Plotter

Boz 11_05_2010_11_10_56_977817152writes in:

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DB1, You hate to see this.

A ginger darling character actress from a series as venerated (if overly-commodified and endlessly drawn-out) as the Harry Potter movies… on the arm of a mouth-breathing swag-hog like this. I know nothing about this stick, except that he looks like the smelly Danish foreign exchange student from my 8th-grade social studies class.

The two might be dating, engaged, divorced with kids, I don’t know or care.

Satisfaction is in the snap judgement, and my judgement is, “Oh, Snap! He’s a tool!” This Tom-Hanks-from-Castaway coiffed weasel is only in it for the purpose of being tagged in her celebrity facebook photos.

Riding the coattails of her redhaired sweetness…. Ginnie Weasley, my heart weeps some sort of quidditch-based dirge for thee. You are sweet ginger perfection. He is choad.

– Boz

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A quality HCwDB tag with quality mock email. Well done, Boz.

# posted by douchebag1
11:30 am April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

I can’t tell if Audrina Partridge is gagging herself looking at this choad or pointing where she’d like Vin Douchal’s throbbing cocck to go

11:46 am April, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

At least she had the good sense to dump his prissy ass before she was really screwed:

.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Campbell_Bower

12:35 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d hump her Dumbledore.

12:36 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d Neville her Longbottom.

12:36 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d tame her Red Dragon with my Phoenix quill.

12:37 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d give her a Howler.

12:37 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d Askeban her flesh prison.

12:38 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d give her the Flesh Blood Prince.

12:38 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d pick at her Hogwarts.

12:39 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d catch her golden snitch.

1:55 pm April, 24 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I’d hoover her carpet whilst combing her drapes.

1:58 pm April, 24 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I’d sprout my seed upon her Pomonas.

2:00 pm April, 24 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I’d Slytherin her Nymphadoras with my Severus Snape

2:07 pm April, 24 Ferris said...

I’d like to slip my elder wand right into her invisibility cloak.

2:11 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

What a fuccen scuzball. I hope Red Hott isn’t permanently scarred from their coupling.

2:11 pm April, 24 Ferris said...

Is give her a dementor’s kiss right in Godric’s Hollow.

2:15 pm April, 24 Ferris said...

Note to all the other students at Hogwarts: this is what you get if you raise your wand and say, “accio dipshit”

2:19 pm April, 24 Ferris said...

Id put my Peter Pettigrew right into her goblet of fire.

5:10 pm April, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Is that a guy or Scarlett Johansson?

10:05 pm April, 24 DarkSock said...

I’d fuck her vagina

11:45 am April, 25 FlipFriddle said...

No, not Ginnie! My world is crumbling. Maybe Charlie has a douche-hungry dragon he can use? Voldemort has truly won.

Son.

4:30 pm April, 25 Guid is Good said...

This chap looks like a bounder.

.

.

Tally ho.

7:16 am April, 26 ehcuodouche said...

That’s one of the least douchey pictures of the guy that I’ve seen. Usually he has DJ headphones hanging from his neck. She came to her senses and called off their engagement last year.

2:21 am May, 31 Boz said...

Bunsen Honeydew posted his comment on my birthday…

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